Resonating Light
by KayMarieXW
Summary: Edward left Bella 20 years ago. Struggling, but confident he'd made the right decision, he never went back. He's about to discover how wrong he was about everything. As the revelations keep coming, can he earn a place in Bella's new life? AU EPOV
1. Prologue: This pain is just too real

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in the world she created. ****The title and chapter titles are taken from the lyrics of Evanescence's My Immortal**

* * *

** Resonating Light**

**Prologue – This pain is just too real**

"Please Carlisle, all I'm asking is that you hear me out. I really need your help." I could sense the desperation in my voice and hoped it would sway him. I knew he cared about me; it had been obvious in the kindness he had shown me ever since I met him.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I promised my son. He thinks you are better off without us and I tend to agree. You have no place in our world, it's time to live your life." His voice was tired and stern, like a strict teacher talking to a wilful child.

"But you don't understand..." I sounded like a petulant child even to myself. As Carlisle cut me off I cursed myself for not scripting better. I was going to lose everything through lack of preparation.

"No _you _don't understand Bella. Your human issues seem monumental to you I'm sure, but to us they're just a drop in the ocean of time."

And I knew I was running out of time. I considered blurting out the truth but my all my instincts told me it would not be believed and the conversation would be over. My self control cracked, I let go of any shred of dignity and started sobbing into the phone. "I thought you loved me Carlisle."

There was a long pause before he replied carefully, "I care about you Bella, as I do every acquaintance, every patient and every human I've met. But I have to put my family first." The implication was clear, I was not family, I was as unimportant and fleeting as everybody else in their charade. I'd thought my heart was already broken beyond repair but realised my mistake as the remaining pitiful pieces shattered. Using all my reserves, fuelled by my knowledge that this was my only chance, I pulled my mind together as my soul disintegrated.

"I wouldn't call unless it was important. I am begging for your help. Just a few minutes to explain, is that really too much to ask?"

"Yes, it is," Rosalie's furious, sneering yet beautiful voice replaced Carlisle's patient tone. "Begging Bella? Really? That's pathetic even for you. You need to understand that no one here wants to know. You were a bit of fun for Edward to alleviate a century of boredom. Edward's masochistic experiment in emotions and self control. But even he is not so cruel to continue it when you are clearly delusionally in love and in danger. None of us care about your petty human dramas. You have done enough damage, caused enough discord in this family already. We have moved on, why don't you?"

I was too stunned by Rosalie's conformation of every fear I had had since he left me in the forest three months ago to even notice the long ominous tone in my ear. I let the phone slide onto the bed. I fell to my knees. All the hurt and pain that I had been repressing resurfaced and threatened to consume me like they had in that first dreadful week. I longed for the relief of oblivion but hardened my mind to it.

"Focus Bella," I muttered to myself. My eyes searched the room that I had lived in for less than a year but had been filled with both fairytale dreams and the blackest of nightmares. My gaze fell on a sketch I had drawn from memory four weeks ago and pinned on my wall. Then I made the stupidest decision I had ever made, which when you considered my long history of appalling decisions was really saying something. "Not so much a choice as a lack of options," I said to myself as I reached for my backpack and my passport.

**xXx**

* * *

**AN: **

This is for those of you that like to know more about the story before you read. For those of you who don't, please feel free to skip straight to the next chapter :)

Full Summary: Edward left Bella 20 years ago. Struggling, but confident he'd made the right decision, he never went back. He's about to discover how wrong he was about everything. Bella has moved on, as he had hoped, but in a way he had never even considered. His entire view of the world he exists in is shaken. As the revelations keep coming, can he earn ever regain Bella's trust and earn a place in her new life?

This is not a typical Edward/Bella love story. It is more about family and facing consequences. It is about the complexity of family relationships and how they change and evolve over time. I find it difficult to describe and summarise without giving too much away and the only thing I can say with certainty is that there will be surprises along the way.

If you've read this far, then I'm sure you've guessed I write in British English. I've come to realise that that may be a little controversial as I'm mainly writing in Edward's POV and he is most definitely American. I hope you can find it in your heart to overlook it.

If you decide to give this story a chance, then I love you already! I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are addictive and I find it difficult to put into words how much I appreciate each and every one. If you are so kind as to let me know what you think, I will be more grateful than you know.


	2. 1: I'm so tired of being here

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

******1. I'm so tired of being here**  


Alice had called me back to defend my family, but the situation before me seemed hopeless. We were faced with a huge army of newborn vampires. Even Jasper had never seen the like. Carlisle was attempting to negotiate with Maria but I could hear it was futile.

Maria's mind was set and she was determined to fight us for two reasons: Firstly, she still held a grudge against Jasper. She had never forgiven him for leaving her. Her life had been much better with Jasper by her side. He had been fantastically loyal, good company, controlling her army had been much easier and the sex was amazing. I was treated to several images of Jasper flashing through Maria's mind that I could have gone the rest of eternity without seeing.

The other reason was less personal and more business. Our coven was the strongest and most gifted aside from the Volturi and Maria wanted to test her army on us before attacking in Italy.

"You've set your sights a bit high this time, Maria. The Volturi is an ambitious target even for you." My speaking up was a delaying tactic at best, but also a way to let my family know why we were being sacrificed.

"The Volturi will be no match for me, Edward," Maria's reply was quick and confident. "They are an archaic institution, turning to stone in their self imposed prison. Their over confidence and lack of practice will be their undoing. They have been too powerful for too long. They're arrogant and complacent and they will pay for it with their lives." Her mind was in intoxicated with the potential power she hoped to wield.

"There may be a way out of this for your coven though," Maria drawled, "I want Jasper back by my side." She locked eyes with Jasper. To my surprise Jasper was actually considering her proposal. He knew there was no way our whole family would survive this battle and there was a good chance none of us would. Jasper would sacrifice his own happiness to protect us all, especially Alice, but the thought of throwing himself back into that mayhem was repulsive to him. "Come now Jasper, we were good together," Maria cooed, "we could rule the vampire world side by side. Of course I would need a gesture of loyalty..." she paused and gave Jasper a provocative smile, "namely you ripping Alice to shreds and burning the pieces." Our whole family erupted in growls and hisses as Maria threw her head back and laughed at our reaction. "You are all going to die," she informed us causally.

I swept the minds of my family, searching for any hope at all. For the last twenty years I had purposefully exiled myself from them. Not out of spite, but to protect us all. To protect me from the torment of loving couples and the reminder of everything I would always want and could never have, and to protect them from my radiating misery.

I had not regretted the separation until now. I missed my family and now it was all going to end. I had wasted precious time with them because I thought we had forever. In this moment I was glad we were all together again.

Esme was fearful; she was scared for us all. Jasper was filled with anger and guilt. Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett were grim but determined. Alice was frantic. She could see nothing but blackness for all of us after the next few minutes. Being blind to the future made her panic. She thought it meant either she would die, or maybe we all would. I couldn't help but agree with her conclusion. I felt a sense of acceptance sweep over me. I was so tired of being immortal. All the pain, loneliness and anxiety I felt was nearing an end and I felt relief.

_STOP THAT!_ Jasper mentally shouted at me. _There is slim chance some of us might survive this, but you deciding to commit suicide by newborn army is not going to help. Fight for your family Edward. You love them as they love you._ Jasper sent a jolt of anger my way which enabled me to refocus on our current situation.

Over the past few weeks, before Alice's visions had faded to black, she had seen the destruction various members of our family in a myriad of ways. Thanks to Alice's gift, we all knew Maria and her army was coming for us. As soon as the first vision had hit, Alice had spent her entire time locked in her own mind, weaving the threads of the future together and trying to adjust it with changing decisions. But there had been no way to avoid this battle and Alice felt useless. She had always been able to decide us out of trouble before.

The only thing she had been able to influence was the location of the battle. Hundreds of human lives had been saved by Alice. The worst scenario had been when we had decided to hide in plain sight in the city, hoping the presence of humans would prevent Maria from taking action to protect the secret. The destruction Alice had seen was indescribable. So here we were, in a lonely valley surrounded by rock faces and steep forests. It was almost peaceful, likely unchanged for decades, like us. Unlike us it would still be the same tomorrow.

The exact mechanics of the battle had never been clear to Alice. Over fifty different minds making interdependent decisions had left a fuzzy picture. Only one thing in her battle visions stuck out; our main concern. Keith.

I sought him out from the sea of faces in front of us. He was standing near to middle of the group, protected. He was small in stature, insignificant looking. It would be very easy to underestimate him if I hadn't seen in Alice's mind what he was capable of. Absolutely deadly. He had one of the most dangerous gifts any of us had ever come across. Using only his mind he could shatter and burn.

Alice had seen him destroy each and every one of us repeatedly in her vision quest over the past few weeks. Since I had arrived back with my family, both she and I had been tortured with horrific images; Esme burning, Carlisle burning, Emmet and Rose burning, all of us burning, at the mercy of Keith. I looked into his mind and quickly realised he had no mercy to offer. He was eagerly awaiting the order to attack.

He was feeling frustrated that Maria had forbidden him from practising his gift on her army any more. She had found the constant screaming of changing newborns wearing as she struggled to replace the vampires he was destroying. He had had to resort to practising his gift on humans, and while he had enjoyed it immensely, he was very much looking forward to turning his talent to us.

My family had discussed how to deal with him. It was an impossibility to all survive. We had argued fervently over who would sacrifice themselves to give the others a chance to tear him to pieces. Esme felt it should be her as the rest of us were better fighters, she was desperate to protect her children and her mate, but none of us could entertain that notion for a millisecond. The rest of us argued that we should be the one to do it, none of us able to bear the thought of living with another's sacrifice. Mine was the best argument. I wanted to die anyway and I had no mate to mourn my loss. Jasper wouldn't hear of it though, thanks to my ability I was one of our strongest fighters and he insisted that me being eliminated early on was not an option. The argument had never been resolved.

Our current plan was to all try to reach him as quickly as possible and hopefully one of us would have the opportunity to take him out. Unfortunately, Maria had already foreseen this strategy. Every other member of her army had one purpose. To protect Keith. He was the reason she was so confident against us and against the Volturi. She knew that all she had to do to protect him for long enough to use his talent on her targets and she would be ultimately undefeatable. He was so well protected by the rest of the newborns I could see it would be almost impossible for any of us to reach him. None of us would survive this and Alice's blank vision supported that theory.

Carlisle's fruitless attempts at negotiation were drawing to a close. The newborn minds were beginning to thrum with anticipation. My family's thoughts all began to focus on getting to Keith. It was about to begin. Suddenly Rosalie's head swung to the left. Through her eyes I saw five cloaked figures gliding towards us. They almost seemed oblivious to what we were facing. They were in no hurry to reach us and showed no apprehension at the number of vampires in the valley. They moved in formation. An arrow comprised of five. One at the point leading the group, with two pairs of vampires fanning out behind them, forming a triangle. An inverted 'V' shape.

"Volturi," Rose and I whispered as one. That had Maria's attention. Jasper felt an inital flash of fear from Maria dissolve into humour as they silently stopped.

"Aro sent a guard of five?" She laughed. "It's almost insulting, that he would underestimate me so drastically. It will hardly be a challenge for my army, but five less in Italy should not be scoffed at, I suppose."

The vampire at the point of the 'V' took a further step forward. Delicate hands were raised to their hooded face and I supposed it was a female. She gave her hood a tug and it fell to her shoulders, revealing the most exquisite sight I had ever seen. And I was not the only one to think so. All of the other male vampire's minds were filled with awe at the vision before us. She had thick, wavy chestnut hair, that cascaded down her back. Her face was perfection with delicate features that emitted strength and beauty. Her eyes were the pitchest black and it was impossible to distinguish pupil from iris.

The outward stunned silence of my family was a very stark contrast to the way their minds were screaming the same word in unison.

_Bella._


	3. 2: Fight away all of your fears

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: Thank you to everyone who alerted or added my story as a favourite. I am really excited that people are reading my story. Thank you especially to those who reviewed. They really made my day. Here is the next chapter. I am a little nervous...I hope it doesn't disappoint. **

**2. Fight away all of your fears**

Bella spoke in a beautifully smooth voice which perfectly matched her mesmerising appearance.

"Maria, you are accused of creating an army that has carelessly threatened our most protected secret, and of preparing to attack the Volturi. Have you anything to say in your defence?"

Maria snorted in defiance. "I cannot believe you and your pathetic little group think you have any authority here. We will destroy you easily," she taunted. "We can't have you forewarning Aro of our strength now, can we?"

Bella dropped her focus from Maria and seemed to appraise the army before her for the first time. She showed no outward appearance of intimidation and as always her mind was completely silent to me. I had absolutely no idea what she was thinking. I tried to find the minds of the other Volturi with her, desperate for any snippet of information to indicate how Bella came to be here with them and how on earth they thought that the five of them could be victorious over the fifty three vampires that stood before them, ready to fight to the death. I could hear nothing from any of them! I could not understand what was happening; I had never imagined such an overwhelming failure of my ability before. I had absolutely believed Bella's mind was unique, the only one hidden from me, and even then I had believed that had Bella been a vampire like me I might have been able to access her thoughts.

Bella spoke past Maria, addressing the army with a ringing confidence that she had never held as a human. "New vampires, you have been misguided and Maria is leading you to your demise. The punishment for revealing our secret to the humans is death and in the past few weeks you have all been very conspicuous. You should also have been informed that the Volturi will defend ourselves from any attack with deadly force and that no vampire who has opposed us has survived to speak of it. If you continue to blindly follow Maria, you will all be destroyed. You have one chance for redemption. Anyone who surrenders to us and stands stationary inside of our protective circle for the duration of our exchange will be spared from Maria's fate."

She gestured to her left and I realised that one of the other guard members had etched a huge circle into the ground against the valley wall. The majority of the newborns were incredulous that this beautiful vampire considered her and her companions a threat to them. None of them were prepared to turn on Maria, who had proved time and again that she would punish even the slightest sign treachery with death. Maria was seething at Bella's arrogance, her lack of respect and her dismissal. "Keith, teach her some manners," she hissed. Keith's face broke into a wide smile and he focused on Bella.

I panicked. I knew that Bella and the rest of the guard had only just arrived on the scene. They had no idea what Keith was capable of and would probably all be destroyed before they even knew what was happening. I knew it was pointless, I had no chance to save her but I had to try. I had barely taken half a step forward to defend my Bella when the screech of disintegrating vampire filled the air followed immediately by a sickly sweet burning smell. "No," I whispered, unable to tear my eyes away. Waves of shock crashed all around me, throwing me even deeper into my sea of confusion. Bella had not moved or even blinked. She was still wondrously whole. Keith was a burning pile of ashes.

Waves of shock rippled through the army. Suddenly they were uncertain. Keith had been the thrust of their offensive power. It had been drilled into them to protect him at all costs and now he was a pile of ashes in their midst. None of them could process what had happened. My family was equally baffled. Thrown off balance by such an unexpected series of events, unable to comprehend what was unfolding in front of our eyes.

"Last chance," Bella spoke grimly, although relaxed and seemingly unaffected. Several vampires broke rank immediately running for the circle. There was a mated pair, who couldn't bear to see each other hurt and a couple of slightly older vampires, who were already exhausted by the violence of their new lives. A few more hovered, clearly undecided before three more headed towards the circle. Maria had not inspired loyalty, relying almost entirely on fear, and more recently on the threat of Keith, to control her army. She was astounded by their mutiny. She hissed and snarled at them as they passed. However, despite their betrayal and the loss of her most effective weapon, she still remained confident in her numerical advantage.

"You will pay for this," Maria spat at her ex-army members. "They are still outnumbered nine to one and once my loyal soldiers have disposed of them, they will turn to you." Anxiety and fear rolled off those in the circle. Even though they had defected they still believed Maria would most likely be victorious. They had taken a huge risk for a slim chance to escape her cruel and oppressive regime.

Throughout this whole exchange I had been unable to tear my eyes from Bella. I watched as she ignored Maria's rant and reached her right hand behind her, towards one of the other guard members. This was apparently a signal. He took a step forward as he dropped his own hood and then took Bella's hand. He was tall and muscular, looking somewhat like Emmett but with curly blond hair. His eyes matched Bella's, blacker than a moonless night. The minds of the females in the valley suggested he was as attractive to them as Bella was to the males. I absolutely hated him. How dare he hold her hand? My eyes were fixated on their joined hands so I noticed the almost imperceptible squeeze.

Gasps of shock echoed around the field as Bella and the other four Volturi disappeared into thin air. Everyone was looking around in confusion when the screeching started. A shocked newborn in the centre of the army was being ripped apart by invisible forces and the resultant pile of pieces erupted into flames. All hell broke loose, screaming, running, ripping and burning. Even with vampire senses it was almost impossible to follow the action. Flying pieces of vampire were soaring though the air, adding to the growing pyre. Maria's army were disorganised and unprepared for the onslaught that had been unleashed. They were completely unable to defend themselves and were grasping blindly at air and fighting each other in their confusion and lack of other targets. The chaos continued until only one screamer remained, Maria. She looked crazed, staring around her in disbelief.

The Volturi guard reappeared as suddenly as they had vanished. Their formation was exactly the same and they seemed not to have moved at all. Maria flew at them, her intention for revenge clear to me even though her mind was an almost thoughtless red rage.

"Jane," Bella commanded emotionlessly. The smallest vampire dropped her hood. She was positioned in the back pair. Her partner at the back was her exact opposite, huge to her tiny. She was no more than a child and had obviously been turned very young, probably on the cusp of being a dangerously illegal immortal child. Her bright red eyes glinted with pleasure and her angelic face held a sadistic half smile. Maria dropped to the floor writhing in pain. I withdrew from her mind, desperately trying to block the echoes of unbearable agony.

"Maria, your own actions have proved you guilty as charged." Bella spoke smoothly and firmly. Somehow managing to be heard without effort over Maria's piercing wails. "The Volturi will never tolerate such blatant disregard of the foundation of our principles. Your sentence is death," she paused before calling on another member of the guard. "Felix," she directed.

Jane's massive partner dropped his hood and strode purposefully towards Maria. He despatched of her quickly and efficiently, adding chunks of her to the newborn bonfire, one at a time. Jane was pouting, apparently disappointed that her torture had been cut short. The only vampire not yet to have revealed themselves broke formation. He approached the small group of vampires who had taken their offer of asylum. They trembled before him.

"You all made a very wise decision today, and because of it you will survive to see tomorrow." He had lowered his hood to address them and Carlisle recognised him as Demetri. "If you can control yourselves, and manage to take command of your senses and nature, you may even survive for eternity. There is only one rule. Keep the secret. Do not break it, we know your faces and be assured that there is nowhere you can hide from me. If you anger the Volturi, retribution will be swift and absolute. Remember, choose who and where you hunt carefully and do nothing to draw any human attention to yourselves. Go in peace." He stepped aside.

The seven remaining vampires hesitated, looking at each other in confusion. I could now tell that they were all more 'mature' on the scale of newborns, nearing the end of their first year. They were nervous and overwhelmed, unable to believe that after everything they had endure at Maria's hands they were simply being set free. Demetri raised an eyebrow and made an impatient sweeping gesture with his hand. A tall dark haired male took the initiative; he grabbed his mate's hand and ran. The others followed swiftly behind them, running into the forest without a backwards glance.

Demetri retook his place in the guard formation. Bella had turned to face her four companions. None of the Volturi had even acknowledged us and Bella had not once looked in our direction. My family had done nothing to draw their attention, each of them frozen in shock. It was a normal vampiric reaction to become statues at time of extreme stress and this situation was definitely that. As there had been no direct offensive against us, all of my family had remained unmoving through the whole exchange, desperately trying to process and understand any set of circumstances that would explain how Bella had come to be here, a vampire allied with the Volturi that apparently had destroyed a huge newborn army with nonchalance.

"Let's get out of here," Bella sounded drained, "I'm anxious to be home and I'm really thirsty so we'll need to hunt on the way."


	4. 3: If you have to leave

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**Thank you for favouriting, and especially for reviewing. I am overwhelmed that anyone cares enough about my story to let me know what they think. I really appreciate it.  
**

**3: If you have to leave**

I couldn't believe that Bella was about to leave without saying a word. Surely we deserved some sort of explanation, or even just an acknowledgement. It seemed unimaginable that she had nothing to say. I wondered whether she could not remember us. My heart constricted at that thought, but it would explain a lot. Human memories were fuzzy and transient, and we had only been a part of her life for such a short time. My heart would have like to of believed that our love was significant enough to be preserved in the change, but I knew her human emotions could never compare to what I felt, so in my head, I knew she must have forgotten me.

_Say something._ Alice implored me. She had begun to return to her usual self, although she remained somewhat disoriented by her lack of foresight. Despite the destruction of Keith and of Maria's army, our futures remained alarmingly blank to her. Neither of us had any idea why, and it was immensely distracting for us both. I tried to think of the appropriate words to say to Bella but nothing would come.

"Wait!"

_Maybe something like that would have worked. _Alice rolled her eyes at me, for it had been Jane, not me, that had prevented Bella from leaving. I was still floundering.

"Isabella, I know Carlisle from his time with the Volturi," Jane continued in a low voice to Bella. "Aro has a great deal of respect for him. I'm sure he would want us to pass on his regards and to hear news of his coven."

Bella seemed to deflate slightly. "Of course, Jane," she replied pleasantly, "as you are already acquainted, please lead the way." She deflected to Jane with a small respectful bow and the five Volturi vampires fluidly changed formation. Jane took the lead as they approached us with Demetri and Felix behind her and Bella and the, as yet unidentified, hand holder at the back of the new V arrangement.

As they neared us, all except Bella were focused on Carlisle. Jane's expression was friendly and assured, while the others seemed merely politely curious. Bella's eyes were flicking briefly to each of my family's eyes in turn, meeting the shocked gazes directly. She was marginally shaking her head, her beautiful face turned down into a frown and her eyes imploring us. I was unsure what she expected from us, I just knew I didn't want to disappoint her.

_She doesn't want us to talk to her._ Esme was hurt by what she felt was her accurate assessment of Bella's behaviour. Jasper and Carlisle agreed with her interpretation of Bella's actions and they intended to respect her wishes until they had more information. Emmett and Alice were both fighting the urge to run to Bella and hug her and never let her go again. Thankfully, even Emmett was sensible enough to see the potential danger in that course of action. Rosalie was fuming. Her mind was so hostile towards Bella that I only brushed it for a second, withdrawing quickly in distaste for her unkind thoughts.

"It's been a long time, Carlisle," Jane began. "It's good to see you. Aro will be pleased to hear your coven remains intact despite Maria's obvious intentions."

"Thank you, Jane. It's very good to see you too. My family and I are immensely grateful for your timely intervention," Carlisle responded sincerely.

Bella was so close to me. Her presence was intoxicating. Every cell of my being was screaming for me to be closer to her. I could barely hold myself together. I knew my family were probably right that Bella didn't want to speak to me, but I was unable to ignore her.

"Bella," I breathed, pouring all my emotion into speaking her name. It was almost a prayer for recognition and forgiveness.

Bella's eyes closed in frustration and defeat as the four other pairs of Volturi eyes snapped to me and then widened. Surprise? Recognition? How frustrating that I couldn't simply pick the answers from their minds.

Jane recovered herself quickly. "And you are...?" she asked with self satisfied humour suppressed in her voice. I wasn't sure the best way to answer her. Clearly I was letting Bella down, again, but I was unsure as to how or why. I relied so heavily on my mind reading to ensure the perfect response to any situation, that without it I was confounded.

"This is my son, Edward," Carlisle came to my rescue.

"Well Edward," Jane drawled, "you stand accused of revealing our secret to a human and taking no action to prevent the exposure of our kind." Jane's tone held the same authority as Bella's had when accusing Maria, but was laced with a sense of smugness and enjoyment. "Have you anything to say in your defence?"

"There is no evidence of that Jane," Bella said sharply, her eyes snapping open.

Jane turned to Bella. "Are you saying you will not stand witness against him?" Jane asked incredulously.

"No I will not," Bella replied simply. "There is nothing to say."

Bella and Jane were regarding each other with barely concealed hostility. The rest of the guard looked between the two of them, apparently appraising how to diffuse the standoff. Demetri took out a small black phone, pushed his fingers to the touch screen and held it to his ear. Our enhanced senses made it easy to hear what was happening at both ends of the call. It rang only once and was answered by silence at the other end.

"Aro..." Demetri began. Jane's face widened into a malicious grin and Bella looked furious.

"Demetri," Aro cut him off. "I'm very surprised to hear from you. Did all not go well?" He sounded worried. When Carlisle had spoken of Aro, he did not seem like the type of person who was prone to anxiety.

"Everything went smoothly Aro," Demetri reassured him quickly. "Maria and her army were easily dealt with, as expected. However, a new situation has arisen."

"Go on."

"When we found them, Maria's army was about to attack Carlisle Cullen's coven. It has grown to a considerable size. Seven, including Carlisle. It seems Maria wanted to test her army against them."

"They all survived?"

"Yes, we arrived before they launched their attack. We are here with them now. One of their members, Edward, recognises Isabella. She has never met him in my presence."

"Nor mine," Aro's response was sharp. "But that still does not explain the call, Demetri. Surely you knew I would want to speak to him."

Demetri hesitated before replying carefully, "Isabella is being difficult."

Aro sighed, "Let me speak to her."

Demetri held out the phone to Bella and she snatched it angrily from his hand.

"Aro," She said curtly into the phone.

"Isabella. I want to speak to this Edward, and to the rest of the Cullen Coven. Escort them to Volterra directly, please," Aro spoke slowly and patiently.

"As you wish, my Lord Aro," Bella's tone was flat and resigned.

Aro sighed more heavily this time. "Safe journey," he ended the call. Bella squeezed the phone in frustration. There were a series of pops and fizzes and it disintegrated to dust in her hand. Jane and Felix were openly smirking. Demetri looked horror struck.

Jane turned back to us once again. "As I'm sure you heard, Aro has requested your presence in Volterra. We will be leaving immediately. I hope you all have passports?" Carlisle nodded in conformation. We always carried them as you never knew how far you might run or even when you might have to drop everything and leave with no warning at all.

"Let's go then. We will leave first," she gestured to herself, Demetri and Felix. "Wait a minute and then follow our scents. Do not even consider anything other than absolute obedience. I'm sure Carlisle can vouch for Demetri's tracking ability and it would not bode well for you to be impolite enough not to visit Aro of your own accord. You two..." she pointed to Bella and the mystery vampire "...can bring up the rear. It will be your responsibility if they do not arrive as expected."

As soon Jane, Demetri and Felix had left, my family turned to Bella. Their minds were buzzing with questions and demands for explanations. They knew we only had moments to spare before we had to leave. None of them seemed to be able to prioritise and decide which question to pose first. Bella beat them to it.

"Do not talk to me, or even about me, at any point during this journey," she hissed. We were all taken aback, not expecting our Bella to speak to us with such venom.

"Bella, don't you think you owe us..." Rose began scathingly.

"I owe you nothing," Bella cut her off. "Despite that, I am trying and save your lives...again. You are making that extremely difficult. I'm sure it will be impossible now. As soon as Aro touches any one of you, we're all screwed. Now, thanks to Edward, always ignoring my wishes and thinking he knows best, you are going to have to accompany us to Volterra. Could you at least try and minimise the damage already done by not speaking of things you know nothing about. I'm not the Bella you left in Forks, you don't know me and you have no right to make judgements. Just so we are clear... Do not talk to me, or even about me, at any point during this journey. Now leave, before Jane comes to see what the holdup is. I'm sure you don't want to get on her bad side."

Bella was glaring at us all, almost daring us to defy her. We all wanted to, but none of us could find the words.

"We will do as you wish Bella," Carlisle spoke firmly, silently demanding we listen to him. He rarely pressed his authority over us to ensure compliance with his wishes. We respected him too much to challenge him when he did use it. "It would be unwise to antagonise Aro under any circumstances and it seems we are already at a disadvantage. Let us make haste."

It took everything I had to move away from Bella, rather than towards her, as my family and myself exited the valley where we had thought we would be destroyed, towards a possibly more dangerous situation in Italy.

**AN: Uh oh, anyone would think the Cullens would have been better off once the newborn army was destroyed. Think again!**

**Thank you again for reading. I hope you are enjoying it so far. **


	5. 4: Chased away

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: This chapter was a little more difficult to write. I have had the first few chapters planned out in mind for some time now, so was able to get them written fairly quickly. From here on out I only have the skeleton of the story to work from, so I think things may slow down a little. Here goes...**

**4: Chased away**

We flew through the forest in silence. At least in physical silence. Mentally I was being assaulted and abused, both intentionally and unintentionally, by my family's thoughts. I usually found running relaxing, a chance to think and reflect. That was not going to happen today. For the millionth time since I became a vampire I wished I could block them all out. My power would be an amazing gift if I had any control over it.

Carlisle was reviewing his last conversation with Bella. He'd always felt guilty about what had been said to her and that feeling was now hugely intensified. Maybe her problem had been less human and more vampire after all. Could he have prevented her change if he had only listened to her? This burden should have been mine to bear. It'd been at my insistence that Carlisle had dismissed Bella that day. I had honestly believed that any contact with my family would have been detrimental to both her and us. We were going to have had so much trouble getting over her as it was. If they had been even a little involved in her life, they would have inevitably become completely involved. If I had gone anywhere near Bella again, I would never have been able to leave. I convinced Carlisle I was right and he had reluctantly agreed to maintain our family's distance from Bella at all costs.

Esme was mourning the loss of the human Bella. She had coped with her separation from Bella by consoling herself that Bella was growing older, with a career and a family. Enjoying the human life that we had been denied. It turned out that her sacrificing contact with Bella had been in vain. She mourned the twenty years of Bella's life that she had missed out on, wishing she could have been a part of it.

Jasper was strategising. He was running through what he knew of the Volturi and their rules. He needed to find a way to keep Alice safe. He wondered what Bella's plan to help us was and if there was any way to assist her.

Alice was still trying to find a future for any of us. But no matter what she decided nothing came. The only explanation was we had no future, therefore must me destroyed somehow. What I found most worrying was that when she looked for Bella, that was blank too. Was Bella going to be destroyed in the process of trying to save our lives?

Rosalie was still seething. As far as she was concerned twenty years later and our lives were still being ruined by Bella Swan.

Emmett was worrying. He had already loved Bella like a little sister, and had fought forcefully against leaving Bella and not returning, as forcefully as Alice had. He had never given up hounding me to go and check on her. He hadn't gone himself out of respect for Carlisle and me. He was regretting that now.

Trees were flying past us as we followed the Volturi scent through the forest to an unknown destination.

xxx

We were aboard a large Volturi private plane. It had been ready to depart and had taken off almost as soon as we boarded. We had landed once already for a brief stopover, but I had no idea where. The pilots were vampires and I had had to add them to the list of minds that were closed to me. It was incredibly frustrating. The atmosphere on the plane was oppressive. My family were still lost in their own thoughts, occasionally murmuring to their mates. They were paired off, standing close to each other for comfort and support. This left me standing alone amongst many, the usual structure of my family and one of the main reasons I had avoided them for the past twenty years.

We were in a fairly large open plan cabin in the centre of the plane. There was a variety of seating options arranged in clusters, but none of the vampires were making use of them, having no need to keep up a human charade. A huge TV screen took up to the entire of the front wall. There were other smaller rooms off this main cabin, but most of the doors were closed, so I had no idea what they housed. One of the doors was ajar and it appeared to be an office with a large desk, a leather chair and maps and charts lining the walls.

I was mostly watching Bella. She was standing with her back to the side of the plane and her eyes closed. The mystery vampire was standing much too close to her for my liking. They were almost touching. How she could bear to be so close to him, and with her eyes closed? Her natural defences should be screaming at her to move away. Felix and Jane were having a relaxed conversation. They were at the opposite end of the cabin and had pitched their voices low enough that we could not overhear. Demetri was standing alone and seemed anxious.

Suddenly Demetri moved towards Bella. He stopped a way in front of her and she opened her eyes to regard him speculatively. He seemed to be waging a war in his head about what to say. I wanted to tell him to spit it out, the curiosity was overwhelming and I was hoping for another chance to hear Bella's melodic voice.

"I'm sorry Bella," he finally said. "I had no choice but to call him. As soon he touched me, he would have seen my suspicions. He would have gone after the Cullens anyway, the only difference would have been how he treated me for not telling him before he saw it."

Bella sighed in resignation. "I know Dem, I'm not so much mad at you, as at the whole situation. I knew I couldn't avoid this forever but I had hoped for a few more decades...maybe even a century. There is no way for this to go well, but none of it is your fault," she hesitated a moment before reluctantly adding, "I'm sorry about your phone."

Demetri seemed relieved by the way the conversation had gone. He gave Bella a rueful smile. "That's okay. It could have been worse; you could have ripped my arm off. I could see how mad you were."

Felix let out a loud bark of laughter that startled us all. My family had all been focused on Bella and Demetri hoping to gain some insight into what the hell was going on. "Come on Demetri," Felix chuckled. "We all know you would much rather she had ripped off your arm, rather than destroyed your phone. Your arm would have been as good as new in a few hours. How many days did you spend programming that phone just to make it react to your touch, let alone all the other modifications you made, as well as all your apps."

Demetri grimaced. There was obviously a lot of truth in Felix's statement. The mystery vampire was grinning. I could not believe the effect that smile had on my sisters. Dazzled was the only accurate way to describe it. It was a good job they were happily attached, or I think they would have been throwing themselves at his feet. Bella shot him a glance and a small smile played on her lips.

"You think I should tell him, don't you?" she asked my new nemesis. I was so pleased to see any sign of a positive emotion in Bella, that I could almost overlook who it was directed at. Almost, but not quite. He shrugged in response and arched an eyebrow at her. Bella's smile was slightly more pronounced as she closed her eyes and leaned back against the side of the plane. "You tell him."

"Bella backs up your phone before every excursion," he told Demetri with a friendly smile. "She knows how much you love that thing, and that it would kill you if it were lost or damaged."

Demetri looked relieved and grateful. "Thank you," he said to Bella, "I thought you must have really hated me to do that."

"Don't kid yourself, Demetri. When I did it I had every intention of destroying the other one when we got home. I can't believe you actually handed it over to me when you could see how angry I was."

Demetri shrugged. "When Aro says it, you do it."

The smile slipped from Bella's face. "And that's the crux of the problem," she said to herself sadly.

The mystery vampire turned to face her. He cupped her face in his hands and gently tilted her head to meet his gaze. "Whatever happens, we will deal with it," he told her kindly. She nodded slightly in agreement.

A green wave of jealously crashed over me, propelling me towards them. Jasper felt it coming and grabbed my arm. "Emmett," he hissed urgently. Emmett reacted immediately grabbing my other arm, and between them I had no chance of moving.

Bella and the mystery vampire had returned to their original poses, seemingly unaware of what had just transpired between my brothers and me.

xxx

We exited the plane into darkness and crossed the tarmac towards a well lit airport building. A sign welcomed us to Galileo Galilei Airport. Bella and the rest of the guard strode purposefully through the corridors, their hoods over their heads obscuring their faces. We followed in their wake. They bypassed the main passport control and approached a door that said authorised personnel only on it in Italian. Bella entered a code into the keypad at the side of the door and let us into a luxurious room. A flustered human woman jumped up from behind her desk. Her security ID identified her as Marietta.

Finally, a mind I could read. She was not usually assigned here and was very nervous. This room was reserved only for the most important travellers. She had wondered who we were, but on seeing the cloaked figures she quickly identified the 'Volturi monks'. She was eager to see who was under the hoods and when the guard lowered them, was surprised that there were females among them. She knew that they were well respected in Volterra, and important figures both economically and politically in Italy. She also knew that anywhere other than Volterra their presence was feared, although no one really knew why.

As the door closed behind us, her scent permeated the room. She smelled absolutely delicious and I felt an aching at the back of my throat. Bella, Demetri and the mystery vampire froze and stopped breathing. I knew how black their eyes were. They were extremely thirsty.

"Is everything okay?" she asked anxiously. My family were all fluent in Italian, so had no problems understanding her. She was worried about the consequences for her job of us being unhappy with her. Her subconscious had recognised the more immediate threat to her life, but her rational mind had dismissed it.

"Of course. Everything is fine," Felix stepped around the three statues and smiled reassuringly at Marietta. "My friends have picked up a bug in Canada, that's all. It has left them with very sore throats," Felix laughed at his own joke, leaving Marietta a little confused, but relieved that she had done nothing wrong.

Jane sidled up to Bella and spoke too low for human ears. "Go on, have a bite. I bet she tastes even better than she smells. I would love to see the look on Aro's face. You know how he considers hunting at the airport almost as big a crime as hunting within the city walls."

Bella gave herself a little shake and with her head held high pushed past Jane towards Marietta. She held out her passport for inspection. I read it through Marietta's eyes. Isabella Marie Swan. Right birth date, wrong year, making her officially twenty one, almost twenty two. She gave Marietta a tight smile. "I will feel better with a little fresh air," she told her as she quickly exited though another door on the opposite side of the room. I followed her progress out of the airport by skipping through the minds of humans who could see her. Once out of the terminal building she stopped and took a deep breath. Marietta was checking the rest of our passports but I was concentrating more on observing Bella than on what was going on in the room I was in.

I landed in the mind of someone who was staring at Bella. In her impatience to escape Marietta's scent, she had not raised her hood. His thoughts were a little incoherent and it took me a second to realise he was intoxicated. His name was Raul. He thought Bella was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. His drunkenness gave him the confidence to think she would be interested in him, and overrode his natural wariness in the face of such a formidable predator. He lurched towards her, never taking his eyes from her face. Her eyes narrowed and I recognised the intensity of her thirst. It must be taking everything she had not to drain him on the spot. She was very dangerous right now. He mistook her expression for a different kind of longing and moved even closer.

"Evening, Beautiful," he leered. Bella shook her head, her lips pressed together in a tight line.

"Not interested," she hissed, using the last of her air and stepped back. Raul followed her, grabbing her hip with his hand and pulling himself close to her.

"Don't play hard to get, Sweetheart. I can see you want me as much as I want you." He had no intention of taking no for an answer. His mind was explicitly running through all the barbaric things he would like to do to her.

We are moving towards the exit at a brisk human pace, towards Bella and Raul. We would be there in a few moments. It was not like she couldn't defend herself, but it made me boil with rage how disrespectful this vile human was in his mind and in his actions. I had not even noticed the mystery vampire disappear from our group, so it took both me and the human scum by surprise when he appeared by Bella's side. He grabbed the Raul's wrist and even thorough his intoxication he felt a searing pain as one of his bones cracked.

"Assuming you want to keep your hand attached to your arm, you will remove it from my wife." The vampire looked absolutely terrifying, even to me. His face was a complete contrast to the friendly smile that had dazzled my sisters. With a slight flick, Raul was sent staggering backwards, hitting the ground hard. He scuffled a little further away, before rolling over and scrambling to his feet. He had finally recognised the gravity of the threat to his life. Cradling his broken wrist, he stumbled away in fear. In his haste to flee, he almost got run down by a taxi. It's horn beeped angrily at him.

The others had not been close enough to hear the exchange over the other conversations within the airport walls, so Jasper was taken by surprise when my rage suddenly gave way to crushing despair. It took all his strength to support me and keep me on my feet. Yet again he had to enlist Emmett's assistance, this time in order to keep me moving.

I had made a devastating realisation. Bella was no longer mine, she was his.

**AN: Thanks for reading.**


	6. 5: Your face it haunts

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: Thank you so much for reading and especially to those of you favouriting and alerting my story. I would continue it regardless, but it is so exciting to know there are people who care what happens next. To my amazing reviewers, thank you for taking the time to let me know what you think. I really appreciate it.**

**5: Your face it haunts**

_What's going on? Did you hear something? Is there a problem? _Jasper asked urgently. All his senses were on high alert, scanning for danger.

I shook my head.

_Well then pull yourself together. We have bigger concerns than your indulgent self pity. We should never have allowed you to tear our family away from Bella. The only reason I did was because I felt so guilty and was so afraid I would kill her next time and lose you all. Yours and my selfishness have led us here and now our whole family is about to face the Volturi because of us. Suck it up and focus on protecting them. We have penance to pay._

Jasper's silent speech should have pushed me deeper down into despair but he was flooding me with various emotions to keep me upright. With supreme effort on his part, he finally found a balance that took the edge off my despondency and allowed me to move under my own power.

Jane led the way to a nearby covered car park. A private parking level was filled with some of the fastest, most expensive and most luxurious cars available. Many of them were labelled with a tiny Volturi crest that would have been invisible to human eyes. Rosalie was practically drooling.

It quickly became obvious we were bypassing all the cars and headed for an emergency exit in a far corner of the garage.

"We're not driving?" Rosalie asked, her disappointment evident.

"Sorry, Babe," Felix grinned at her with a wink. "We run at night, especially when there are so many of us. It's much less conspicuous than a convoy of speeding cars. If you like what you see, I'm sure I could arrange a private outing for you some other time."

Emmett growled menacingly and Jasper doused him with apathy.

"You guys are killing me," he muttered under his breath, so low that only my family could hear him. "It will be a miracle if we all make it to Volterra alive at this rate, and even if we do I will be completely burned out. I take it you will want me to be fighting fit."

It was only about fifty kilometres to Volterra and the run took us no time at all. The temperature was warm, even though it was still dark. I had seen the Volturi castle many times through Carlisle's memories, but it was even more impressive viewing it though my own eyes. We entered through a daunting gateway and then a massive wooden arch shaped door with a heavy metal latch. Continuing though a small, sparse chamber we finally arrived in a large, opulent reception room. The wood panelled walls were windowless and the plush carpet was a deep green. The room was saturated with a single human scent, although there was no human present. The smell was concentrated around a mahogany counter in the centre of the room. I surmised that a human must work here but was currently off duty. I guessed their purpose was to fob off any other human visitor or tourist. It seemed like a very hazardous place for a human to work and I wondered how much this person knew about their employers.

In the absence of the human receptionist, a vampire was waiting to meet us. Like Jane, he had obviously also been turned very young. He looked almost exactly like her, the only differences being slightly darker hair and the fact that he was male. He gave Jane a warm smile of welcome before addressing Bella.

"Welcome home, Isabella," he greeted her. "Aro has requested that I inform you that a full council will commence in one hour. He expects you to hunt before attending."

"That does not give us much time, Alec. To clear the city, hunt, return and prepare will be difficult to achieve in only an hour," Bella told him.

"I know, Isabella. I did point this out to him, but he was very insistent that his orders be carried out. You will have to hurry if you are going to make it back in time."

Bella hesitated only a moment before her stubborn expression gave way to acceptance. She, her husband and Demetri turned to leave the way we had come.

"Wait, Demetri," Alec called, "Aro wishes you attend him immediately." A pained look crossed Demetri's face and he received several sympathetic glances. He was clearly incredibly thirsty and I could imagine that his throat was very uncomfortable. He gave a small nod, crossed the room swiftly and continued into the castle on his own.

"Carlisle, if you and your coven would like the follow me," Alec instructed politely. He led us along stone corridors and down spiral staircases to what I guessed had originally been a dungeon. However the small room he left us in was nothing like a stereotypical prison, it was comfortable and bland.

"I will return for you when the council is ready to see you," he informed us.

"Alec" Carlisle stopped him as he turned to leave. "Is there anything you can tell us about the charges we are facing or what we can expect?"

"I'm sorry Carlisle." He replied. "I'm not at liberty to discuss it."

After Alec had left, everyone began talking at once. Asking questions, suggesting theories and lamenting me. We all wanted the same answers: When, where and why Bella had been changed and who had changed her. Equally as pressing, we needed to know the exact nature of the charges we were facing and what the likely punishment would be. Everyone looked to me.

"What were the guard thinking, Edward? Can you reach out to Aro's mind for an explanation?" Carlisle asked me earnestly.

"I don't know. I can't hear any of them. I know only as much as you do." My statement left everybody reeling.

"What do you mean? Has your gift been compromised?" Carlisle wondered. _Can you hear what I am thinking now? _he added mentally.

"I can still hear all of you. I could hear all the humans at the airport. But I could never hear the Voluturi guard, even as they approached the valley. Their arrival took me by surprise as well as everyone else. I could hear Maria and the newborns but never the guard. Now we are in the castle, the only minds I can hear are yours and the rest of the family. As far as my gift is concerned we are the only ones here."

Everyone was shocked by this and wanted to bombard me with demands for explanations but, as was tradition in our family, in times of crisis we let Carlisle take the lead. Anything else would have led to chaos and wasted valuable time.

Carlisle turned to Alice. "What do you see Alice?" he asked urgently. "I know that a lot of decisions are yet to be made, but can you give us any idea of how this will go?"

Alice shook her head in frustration. "My visions are blank, Carlisle," she said dejectedly. "Our futures have remained hidden from me since I lost them while we were preparing for the battle. After the army was destroyed, I expected them to return but I still see nothing. I had thought my inability to see our future meant we were all going to be destroyed by Maria's army. When that did not occur, I thought the Volturi would destroy us instead. But it doesn't make any sense. Even if the Volturi will destroy us as a result of this council, I should still have been able to see visions of the journey here and of the meeting itself. I feel completely useless."

"Something must be blocking you both. Jasper, is your gift working?" Carlisle was very troubled by this limitation, but could not help being excitedly curious by a new and unknown phenomenon as well.

Jasper shook his head gravely. "Like Edward, I can only sense our family. Maybe Bella is blocking us."

Rosalie laughed loudly. "Of course she's not. That's preposterous."

Jasper bristled. "There has to be an explanation. Bella could block Edward's gift as a human. As a vampire any natural shielding ability she had then would be greatly intensified."

"What you are suggesting would be one of the most powerful and controlled gifts in the history of our species. To shield only the guard amidst the chaos of battle, to shield the entire castle..." Carlisle began, awed at the thought. "Bella is not more than twenty years turned, I think it is impossible"

"Besides, yours and Alice's gifts worked on her when she was human," I reasoned, "and she's not even in the castle, or the city. She's left to go hunting."

"Is there another explanation?" Jasper asked.

"Maybe a protection spell," Carlisle pondered.

Jasper was mortified by this thought. "But witches hate vampires. I don't think any of them would ever help the Volturi in such a way. They avoid all of us entirely."

"If the Volturi do have a witch working with them, they are powerful beyond imagination," Alice worried.

"So you're saying we have no chance against them," Emmett demanded.

"Whether or not they have the support of a witch, we would have no hope if the Volturi verdict doesn't go our way," Carlisle pointed out.

"So we should have run then?" Rosalie asked. "Maybe we still could."

"No Rosalie. Demetri is an exceptionally gifted tracker. Once he has met you, he can find you anywhere in the world without difficulty," Carlisle explained patiently. "Our only hope is a diplomatic defence of our actions. It would be much easier if we knew the exact charge against us."

"It has to be something to do with Bella," Alice said hesitantly. "Jane was simply going to speak to us and leave until Edward spoke Bella's name. Also, she is the only human we have ever left with our secret and breaking the secrecy law was what Jane initially accused us of."

"It always comes back to Bella," Rosalie fumed. "She must have gone looking for a vampire to change her. I knew she wanted immortality more than she wanted Edward." Rosalie's words ripped like fire through me. I wondered if that were possibly how she felt.

"That's not true," Jasper sprung to Bella's defence. "She loved Edward. Her feelings matched his."

"Come on, Rose," Emmett cajoled. "That's not very likely. Even if it were that easy for a human to find a vampire, with her scent any human drinker would have drained her as soon as they smelled her. After the situation with James, she knew that as well as we did. There has to be another explanation."

"Our lives were ruined when she came into them," Rosalie was furious that Emmett had defended Bella. "You all should have listened to me, and killed her when Edward first exposed us."

Alice growled viciously in response. I flew at Rosalie, overwhelmed with anger at both her nasty words and her malicious thoughts. I crashed into Emmett who had sprung to defend her. Even though he hated what she had said, our first instinct was always to protect our mates. Jasper was in no position to calm us. He himself was very agitated and conflicted. He cared deeply for Bella but had distanced himself from her at my insistence, so had not known her as well as the rest of us did. And when it came to Alice's safety, he could not help but agree with Rose's sentiment, although he would never voice it knowing how strongly Alice loved Bella.

Esme let out an anguished sob. "Stop it...Stop it!" she pleaded with us, as me and Emmett wrestled on the ground and Rose and Alice snarled at each other. We automatically fell back, subdued, hating that we had distressed Esme.

"The situation is bad enough without fighting amongst ourselves. Our family is strong because we pull together, not fall apart. Whatever is coming, please let us face it united," she begged.

xxx

When Alec arrived to collect us we had reached a somewhat strained truce. He led us up several levels into a cavernous turret room. High up on the walls, equidistantly spaced, were long window slits. The Tuscan sunrise was bathing the room in an orange light. Directly opposite the entrance to the room were a set of three wide, deep semicircular stone steps. They had the appearance of a macabre wedding cake. On the top tier were three imposing wooden thrones, where the Volturi coven was seated, wearing black flowing robes. Aro was in the centre, with Marcus on his right and Caius on his left. They were easily recognisable to all of us from the portrait that had hung in every home our family had ever lived in. Lurking behind the thrones was a slight vampire in a dark grey robe. Carlisle recognised her as Renata. She was a gifted vampire with the ability to divert a physical attack from her and those closest to her.

The middle step was a curiosity. On this next level down, either side of the three brothers, were two empty wooden seats. They were smaller and more graceful, with intricately carved leafy patterns covering the surface. Behind the seat on the left stood Demetri, his eyes still black and his cloak deep grey. He looked harried.

Next to him, but on the lowest step stood Felix in a mid grey cloak that matched the colour of Alec's. Jane was cloaked in the same shade and was stood on the same step but adjacent to the opposite wall. Alec left us in the centre of the room and took his place by Jane's side.

Standing on the floor level with us, lining the walls, were several other vampires in light grey cloaks. I scanned their faces quickly but none of them were Bella. All of the vampires were eyeing us curiously. Aro, Marcus and Caius seemed most interested in me. Carlisle thought it was odd that Marcus showed any curiosity at all, he had always been somehow absent in his demeanour when Carlisle had spent time in Italy.

We stood in silence before the Volturi, waiting, having no idea what to expect. This was an alien situation to us, between me and Alice we had never been so blind as now. Aro turned his attention to Carlisle.

"Welcome my old friend; I am so glad you could accept our invitation. I trust it was not too inconvenient to join us in Italy at such short notice."

"Not at all, Aro. It is a pleasure to see you, it has been too long. Although I must admit that we have been a little troubled as to why you were suddenly so anxious to see us."

"Ah Carlisle, straight to the heart of the matter as usual. You have not changed at all."

"It is not in our nature to change, Aro"

"True, true" Aro agreed. "I'm afraid I have received some concerning intelligence. You may or may not be aware that a member of your coven, Edward, has flagrantly flouted the secrecy law. It is a very serious allegation and one which I am inclined to believe. I am hoping that his indiscretions happened without your knowledge."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Aro, but my family were all aware of Bella's knowledge. We all had a strong relationship with her. I can assure you we meant no harm. We trusted her completely." Aro seemed very surprised by this revelation and shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"If you were all so close, how is it that you have not contacted her in the last twenty years?" he seemed genuinely curious.

"My son Edward loves her very deeply. He was concerned that our presence in her lives was too dangerous and we wanted to protect her. We all felt the only way we could cope with the separation was a clean break. We thought she was safe with her family and would live out her human life without any supernatural interference." As was his nature, Carlisle took responsibility for my decision.

"Well that did not work out very well, did it my friend," Aro said with a frown. "I think I will need to see the situation for myself."

Aro was distracted by the approach of two vampires, a male and a female by the sense of it. The door to the chamber swung open and Bella glided through with her head held high, closely followed by her husband. Even mentally, I choked on the term.

We were all amazed by the vision that was Bella. She a wore midnight blue soft flowing robe. It was so dark, that to human eyes it would probably almost look as black as Aro's. There were some more striking differences. Bella's robe had a deep V neck and was gathered at the waist, giving her a very elegant appearance. Her flowing hair was pinned up in a way that suggested it was done in haste, but that made it no less beautiful. In fact, the tendrils that fell down around her face softened and enhanced her already perfect features. In her hair was a simple white gold tiara decorated with a range of blue gemstones, predominantly a mixture of sky and dark blue sapphires. She wore a matching necklace that hung delicately around her neck. The whole effect was subtle but stunning.

In stark contrast to her blue attire, her eyes were a bright glowing crimson.

Alice was shocked. This was an emotion she had had barely any experience of before the last twenty four hours, but now seemed to be in a permanent state of.

Esme was devastated, trying to reconcile her memories of shy, sweet Bella with the predator in front of her, who had probably taken hundreds of human lives.

Carlisle was disappointed, but unsurprised. As soon as he had seen her with the Volturi he had known her likely diet. He knew it was nearly impossible to spend any length of time with them and maintain a 'vegetarian' diet. He had found it difficult and he had been well practiced. Bella was still so young.

Jasper and Emmett were more affected by her elegant beauty than her eyes and were indifferent to the colour. They had chosen a vegetarian diet for their own individual personal reasons. They had friends who had chosen to follow the other path and they never judged them.

Rosalie was smug. She viewed it as evidence of another of Bella's many weaknesses.

I knew that I would always love Bella, no matter what her choices. But I felt guilty that by leaving her, I had somehow forced her down a path which she would likely come to regret.

Bella's husband's eyes matched hers exactly still. Hunting together was very intimate and I felt my stomach roil with jealousy. Begrudgingly, I reminded myself that she was his, not mine. He strode across the room and took up a position that mirrored Demetri's, beside and slightly behind the other empty seat. The shade of his cloak matched Demetri's and Renata's, identifying him as the highest ranking of the guard, superseded only by the brothers themselves.

Bella headed directly for Aro, ignoring us as she passed. He stood as she approached him. Renata bristled from her post behind Aro, as Bella stopped close enough to touch him. She offered him her hand and gave him a slight curtsey as he kissed it gently.

"My beautiful Isabella," He greeted her. "I trust you had a successful hunt."

"No good will come of this, Aro," she replied imploringly, ignoring his salutation.

Aro sighed at her entreaty, but did not seem to take offence.

"Trust me, my dear," he told her firmly. "I have centuries more life experience than you and I have waited long enough to hear this story, I think." He dismissed her with a flick of his eyes and she accepted this directive without further challenge. She took her seat in the empty chair closest to Marcus. Her husband standing century beside her. She regarded us with sorrowful red eyes.

"I would like to hear your version of the events that have led us here Carlisle. I trust your impartiality and analytical mind," Aro returned his attention to us.

He descended the steps towards us, Renata staying close behind him. As he reached to meet Carlisle's extended hand, his face was serene with a pleasant smile. As he read Carlisle's thoughts his expression hardened and his eyes glinted with icy fury.

"The betrayal runs deeper than we feared, my brothers," his eyes never left us as he addressed Marcus and Caius. "I recommend a death sentence for all of the Cullen Coven."

**AN: ****I'd love to hear what you think.**


	7. 6: I'm bound

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**Thank you to all of you who are reading my story, especially those who have taken the time to review, you make my day.**

**A really special thank you to my sister, now known as OrAreWeDancers, who I have drafted onto FFn to Beta my story. Her support means so much to me. Also a big thank you to my husband and my brother-in-law, who have taken a fierce interest in this story and offered their creative input, despite their indifference to Twilight.**

**6: I'm Bound**

My family froze in horror. We all searched our minds desperately for any course of action that might avoid what now seemed inevitable.

Bella flew to her feet. "No, Aro. Please."

Aro turned slowly to face her and said patiently, "I know you feel strongly about this Isabella. That is evident from the fact that you have kept your history hidden from us all these years. Marcus, Caius and I have discussed it at length. We do not feel you are able to be objective in this matter. You need to trust us to do what is in the best interests of our family."

"Please, Aro, will you at least hear me out before you cast your final vote and decide on a verdict." Bella was distressed and this was clearly affecting Aro.

"My child," he said sympathetically, "I'm afraid there is nothing you can say that will sway us. I have seen the situation for myself."

Bella took a cautious step towards Aro, "If there's nothing I can say, maybe there is something I can show you." She raised her right hand, palm up, towards Aro.

Gasps of shock echoed around the room. Aro's expression was disbelieving but hopeful.

"You know how much I'd love to see Bella, but I must warn you it will probably not change anything," he cautioned.

Bella nodded in understanding but started towards him. He moved to meet her and took her hand reverently. They stood close together maintaining eye contact. Their tryst looked intimate and exuded love, trust and respect. They held this pose for much longer than Aro had read Carlisle for.

Bella broke the silence. "You see. It would destroy me too. Please reconsider Father," she whispered.

"Yes, I see exactly what you mean, my beautiful Bella," he murmured. "Please give me a moment; I need to speak with your Uncles." As he turned away from Bella, he addressed the vampires in lightest grey cloaks, "Eminent Guard, you are dismissed." They instantly turned and filed from the room, only slight changes in their expressions betraying their disappointment. Aro joined his brothers on the top stone step. They formed a tight circle, hands lightly touching and began talking in such hushed tones that it was impossible for even a vampire to overhear their words.

Bella was watching the brothers anxiously. Suddenly her face whipped towards the door, horror struck.

"No. No," she whispered, getting the attention of everyone in the room. Someone was approaching, we could all sense that now. Our family glanced at each other confused when we heard a heartbeat. We wondered how a human could possibly inspire such fear in Bella.

_Maybe a witch, _thought Esme, remembering our earlier discussion.

All eyes were on the door when it burst open.

Framed in the doorway was a young woman. She was dressed identically to Bella, in dark blue fitted robes with matching necklace and tiara. She was also stunningly beautiful. Thick wavy bronze hair fell down her back, her creamy ivory skin was flawless and her cheeks were glowing rosy pink. The deep chocolate shade of her eyes exactly matched my favourite colour in the world.

"Don't you think this concerns me more than anybody?" She asked incredulously, as she stood on the threshold of the room.

Bella rushed towards her, but the girl held up her hand to stop her.

"How could you lie about something so important?" She asked Bella, her voice full of hurt. She bypassed Bella and approached Aro. They greeted each other the same way as Bella and Aro had done earlier, with a kiss on the hand and a slight curtsy.

"My enchanting Renesmee," Aro said in a cautious voice. "What an unexpected surprise. You were not due home for several days."

"Aro" Renesmee began, ignoring his greeting just as Bella had ignored hers previously. "I believe my mother has made her position clear, my vote will cancel hers out. You will need to decide between the three of you what the most appropriate course of action is." She gracefully seated herself on the vacant chair in front of Demetri, her eyes tightened as she glared at our family.

Aro, Caius and Marcus looked from Renesmee to Bella with apprehension, seemingly unsure as to how to proceed.

My family's minds were as frozen in disbelief as our bodies were. We tried to process the impossible truth in front of our eyes. My daughter.

Rosalie's mind thawed first and then quickly heated to boiling point. She was practically screaming her thoughts. _Bella ruins everything she touches. How could she have kept this from us? Her lies have kept Edward's child separated from me and my family. His daughter hates us now, all because Bella has turned her against us._

Renesmee's eyes flashed to Rose and she was vibrating with anger as she gracefully sprung to her feet.

"Rosalie, you have leapt to completely the wrong conclusions, although I can see it is your nature to be delusionally selfish about everything. The lie to which I was referring is the opposite of what you think. All my life my mother has assured me that my father loved her, that I was conceived from love and that had my father known about me, he would love me unconditionally. I see now that opposite is true."

"I don't understand," Rose stammered, taken aback by the force of emotion behind Renesmee's words.

"Then let me enlighten you all," Renesmee said bitterly, gesturing towards the whole of my family.

Suddenly I was no longer in the throne room of the Volturi castle but was somehow transported back to Bella's bedroom in Forks. There was a gaping hole where my heart should be and I was so nervous I felt physically sick. Staring back at me from the mirror holding a phone to her ear was Bella, but almost unrecognisable. This Bella was broken.

_"Please Carlisle, all I'm asking is that you hear me out. I really need your help." I could sense the desperation in my voice and hoped it would sway him. _

I relived the conversation between Bella, Carlisle and Rosalie as if I was actually Bella. I wondered how on earth it was possible and what exactly was happening. It was as if I had been transported back in time, but not as myself, as Bella. I was her. I could sense her physical feelings and lived her emotions.

I had heard snippets of this conversation from Carlisle's memory, as he had dwelled on it during one of the infrequent visits that I had made to my family about fourteen years ago. But nothing could have prepared me for the devastating affect those words had on me when I heard them in Bella's mind. I threw my arms tightly around my torso, as I felt her already crushed soul shatter. In parallel with Bella in her memory, I tried to hold myself together.

Impossibly, my despair deepened as I heard Rosalie's words through Bella's ears. I had had no idea of the lies Rosalie had told to end that fateful call.

I was immersed completely in Bella's memory. Essentially I was her.

_"Not so much a choice as a lack of options" I said to myself as I reached for my backpack and my passport._

_The Volturi had been haunting my daydreams and my nightmares for more than six weeks now. I knew what they looked like from the painting hanging in Edward's house. I had felt compelled to transfer the images of the three ancient vampires in my mind onto paper. I had pinned the resultant picture on my bedroom wall, therefore the Volturi in my drawing had overseen my arduous attempts to contact any of the Cullens. I now felt they were mocking me, daring me to find another solution._

_I knew the Volturi would probably kill me, but what of my child? I stroked calming circles on my protruding belly. My pregnancy was not progressing normally at all. I was much further along than the books I had read suggested I should be. I knew my dates were right as I had only slept with one person once. I had been buying blood from a butcher in Port Angeles, who thought I was crazy, to satisfy my cravings and replenish my dwindling strength. If my baby was born here in Forks, what would be the consequences? Would it be dangerous to my family? Would it hurt the doctors, or my Dad? How different would it be? Maybe they would take it away. Lock it in a lab and run endless tests. Destroy it. I couldn't allow that to happen. I loved my baby more than my own life._

_I had no other choice. If I was going to make it to Italy before I was too weak to travel, I had to leave now. I was out of time and out of options._

xxx

I was back in the throne room, but the scene was completely wrong. Afternoon sunlight flooded through the window slits and I was seated on a raised throne, facing the door. I was bored, hundreds of years bored.

_My brothers Caius and Marcus and the Elite Guard: Demetri, Felix, Renata, Jane and Alec were discussing the fate of our current receptionist Gianna. She had worked for us for several years and was becoming far too comfortable in our presence. Her demeanour was no longer appropriately respectful. Jane did not like her at all and was very much in favour of draining her dry. She resented the possibly of another female vampire in the guard, drawing attention from her. But Felix had a soft spot for Gianna and would have liked the chance to play with her once she was unbreakable. Doing so while she was still human was an impossibility. She would not have survived thirty seconds._

_Alec supported Jane as always. _

_Renata also found Gianna incredibly irritating and disrespectful. This was not surprising. Of all the vampires I had ever known, Renata was the least likely to inspire fear in humans. She had a naturally timid demeanour that she could not seem to overcome. Despite this she was a favourite of mine amongst the guard, and not just because of her valuable gift. However, I rarely displayed my affection for her. She did not need the grand displays of adulation that Jane did, Renata was content with my quiet respect._

_Caius felt that if Gianna had shown even the slightest sign of insolence to the guard, then she should be destroyed not preserved. _

_Demetri had sided with Felix, but for an entirely different reason to his. He disliked the idea of feeding on a human that he was acquainted with. He could only cope with drinking nameless strangers. Marcus didn't care either way, so until I voiced my position, the current opinion was split four to two. It wasn't looking good for Gianna._

_Our debate was interrupted by Amy, a fairly new member of the Eminent Guard. I was pleased with the distraction. Deliberating over the fate of a human was beyond tedious._

"_What news, Amy?" I greeted her kindly. She hesitated before replying, clearly still very intimidated by us._

"_Masters, there is a human in reception..." She started._

"_Isn't that what we have Gianna for?" Caius demanded, irritated._

"_She asked for you by name, masters," Amy stammered._

"_Well, well. Someone has been exceedingly careless," I said amused. It was not unheard of by any means that we had had to destroy a human who knew too much, but usually we would have to send the guard looking for them. This was the first time one had actually come to us. "Bring them to meet us, Amy."_

_As I waited for Amy to return, I wondered what was delaying them. Even for a human, the walk from reception should surely not take that long. As they entered I realised what had slowed them down. Standing before us was a slight, sickly looking human girl. Her chestnut hair hung lankly around her face and her chocolate brown expressive eyes were sunken in her head. She was heavily pregnant. This fact was so shockingly unexpected to me, that for the first time in my existence I was stunned to silence._

"_Explain yourself" Caius demanded._

_The human trembled at his harsh tone, but drew in a deep breath and proceeded in a surprising__ly__ sure voice._

"_I am really sorry to disturb you, but I have found myself in a situation that I'm unable to deal with on my own. I need assistance that only your kind can offer and I 'm here to respectfully ask for your help." She spoke in a formal tone. _

"_You do realise it is against our law for humans to be aware of the existence of vampires," I asked incredulously. "We are the ones that enforce the law. The punishment for breaking it is death."_

_Unbelievably, a small smile played on her lips and I found myself completely captivated by her. She closed her eyes and nodded slightly. "That would have been good to know," she said ironically._

"_And what makes you think your situation would be of any interest to us?" Caius probed._

"_My baby's father is a vampire."_

_Absolute silence._

_Broken by Felix and Jane doubling up with laughter._

_And for the first time in hundreds of years I wasn't bored. It was very rare that someone spoke a sentence that I had never heard before and this utterly insignificant girl had achieved it. Whatever happened next would be a new experience and that should always be savoured._

"_You know what you are suggesting could not possibly be true," I informed her unequivocally._

_She set her jaw and contradicted me. "And yet it is," she said defiantly._

_Demetri had been searchingly through her belongings. He came forward to touch my hand. Her backpack was old and contained only a few changes of men's clothes. He had guessed her own clothes no longer fit her and she had no access to maternity clothes. _

_There was no form of identification in her backpack nor had there been any on her person when Amy had searched her before presenting her to us. She carried no clue as to her identity. The only items amongst her few belongings that were even slightly interesting were three thermos flasks. I opened one and the disgusting smell of stale, cold bovine blood infiltrated the room. I glanced curiously at the human for an explanation. As the smell reached her, her eyes dilated and she reflexively licked her lips. Experimentally, I moved towards her and offered her the flask. She snatched it from me and gulped it down hungrily. Almost as if in response to her actions, her swollen belly jerked and she winced in pain. _

_Without asking permission, I lifted her baggy shirt. The skin stretched over her stomach was a patchwork of bruises, varying in age and colour. It looked as though she had been the victim of repeated attacks, but I was sure no human foetus could have survived such barbaric beatings. Confirming this theory, a new bruise began to appear, inking its way across her belly before my eyes, proving that the cause of these bruises was internal not external._

_Could it be possible? Could she actually have survived intercourse with a vampire? Did a male vampire even have the ability to create a child with a human? I touched her stomach gently, both to feel and to hear. I had to know the truth of the matter from her own memories. Her distended abdomen was rock solid and I heard nothing. Her mind was silent to me._

"_What's your name?" I asked her gently, looking into her open, honest eyes._

_Despite my close proximity and cold touch, both of which should have had her recoiling in fear, she met my gaze without flinching. "Isabella," she replied._

**AN: I am really nervous about the reaction to this chapter, as I think the story is taking a turn some of you were not expecting. I really hope you will keep reading!**

**Whether you like it or hate it...please let me know what you think!**


	8. 7: By the life you left behind

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**7: By the life you left behind**

As I resurfaced from Aro's memory, I barely had time to process what I had witnessed before I started skipping through multiple memories from different points of view. If I was not so used to this fast transference from one mind to another because of my gift, I think it would have made me dizzy.

_Bella being examined by a mystified human doctor._

_Bella alone in the dark bedroom assigned to her in the castle, crying herself to sleep before waking in terror, wracked by a horrifying nightmare._

_Bella alone in the same room, this time flooded with sunshine, talking soothingly and singing to her unborn child._

_Bella stubbornly refusing to divulge details of her baby's conception or the identity of the father, even under the scrutiny of threatening vampires. _

_Bella laughing with Demetri._

_Aro, Marcus and Caius gravely discussing Bella's worsening health._

_Felix cruelly teasing Bella._

_Aro and Caius discussing contacting Carlisle for a medical opinion. They had already tried but he had apparently gone off the radar, along with the rest of the Cullen Coven. Demetri was refusing to leave Bella to track them and both Aro and Caius were reluctant to send away the only vampire Bella seemed to trust, hoping that Demetri would be able to get information from her about the father of her baby. _

_Bella being carefully carried back to her room by Demetri, after having fallen asleep in the library. _

_Jane scathingly bullying Bella._

As I journeyed through each memory, Bella looked progressively gaunter and sicker. She seemed to be having trouble even breathing. Every move caused her pain, although she was stoically putting on a brave face and staunchly insisting that her baby was precious, the most important consideration.

Finally I stopped jumping and settled into a more substantial memory.

"_The latest human doctor is adamant Isabella is dying. He does not think she will survive another week of her pregnancy. If she dies, we have no idea what will happen to the baby. We need to act now, Aro." Caius was frustrated, as we all were._

"_But what is the best course of action?" I said irritated with his expectation that I could solve this. "The human medicine to induce labour has had no effect and all attempts deliver the baby by Caesarean Section have been thwarted by the impenetrable membrane surrounding it. I do not think it wise to put Isabella though another attempt"_

"_Vampire teeth would surely be effective at cutting through the membrane, however tough it is," Caius countered._

"_We have no idea how thick the membrane is. Teeth could nick the baby. Venom might be deadly to it. We may never have the chance to experience something so unique again. It's too risky," I argued._

"_We have to do something soon." Marcus said, surprising us with his input._

_Suddenly a piercing scream rang through the castle, freezing us in place for several long seconds before it cut off abruptly. We all sprinted towards Isabella's room at vampire speed._

_The scene that greeted us was indescribable. There was so much blood. Venom pooled in my mouth and I choked to swallow it back. If I wasn't centuries old the lure would be irresistible. Isabella lay on her bed in a pool of her own blood. Demetri was hovering beside her, wringing his hands, powerless to do anything to help._

_Isabella had lost so much blood that she was the palest being in a room full of vampires. Her heartbeat stuttered feebly but her expression did not match her broken appearance. She smiled lovingly at the beautiful baby girl in her arms, who astonishingly was smiling back at her. Isabella was surrounded by an aura of love, peace and acceptance. She seemed to feel no pain from her horrific injuries. Her heartbeat was fading quickly. She seemed to realise the end of her life was near and gently passed her baby to Demetri._

"_Her name in Renesmee," she told him. Her voice was so weak that only vampire hearing could have picked it up. "Please love her as your own. She's perfect. Don't let her grow to be a monster." Her eyes fluttered closed and she let out a final sigh._

"_We have to save her," Demetri urged me, Caius and Marcus. His words freed us from the statues we had formed in the doorway._

"_How?" I asked, at a loss. "There is no way to get enough venom into her system before her heart stops."_

_A wave of resolved flowed through all of us. Demetri placed Renesmee into a waiting crib that he had built himself only days before, and then we all swooped on Isabella in unison. In silent coordination I moved to her neck, Marcus to her right wrist and Caius to her left. Demetri bowed his head to her femoral vessels._

_My sharp, diamond strong teeth sliced through the skin of her neck as easily as if it were tissue paper. I pumped my flowing venom into her jugular vein, hoping that, added to the combined amounts of my brothers' and Demetri's venom, it would be enough to save this precious girl._

_We withdrew from her massacred body and waited anxiously. Isabella's heart faltered and stuttered to a halt. I only realised in that moment how much I cared for this fragile human. In a few short weeks she had breathed life into my stagnating castle. Her strength of character and grace in the worst circumstances had endeared her to us all. Even Marcus had been affected by her. I had never come across a human or vampire more engaging and I would mourn her loss._

_After several moments a very welcome sound reached our ears. The frenzied pounding of a changing heart. Relief flooded through me. Isabella would survive, she would be a part of her daughter's life and of ours. I felt sure that boredom was something I would not need to fear for a very long time._

xxx

I was reeling from the intensity of Aro's memory as it dissolved around me. I wished this emotional torture would end, but my hopes were dashed as a thick, green, dark forest sprung up around me and I found myself staring into my own cold, hard eyes. Nausea was rolling through me.

I had relived this scene millions of times from the opposite perspective. I had never been able to understand how Bella had believed my lies so quickly. I had actually felt hurt that she let me walk away without a fight. I had taken her reaction as conformation of my belief that time would heal all human wounds and she would get over me quickly. I had longed to know what was going on in her head as she accepted my lies without question. I now had firsthand experience of exactly what she was thinking and feeling back then. I wished I could erase this new understanding of what was going on in her head, from mine.

Reliving this memory from Bella's mind, I finally realised that Bella had loved me as intensely as I loved her. She trusted me completely and did not think that I was even capable of lying to her about something so important. Unbelievably, she had always felt that she wasn't good enough for me, so accepted without hesitation that I no longer wanted her.

The absolute worst part was that when I had spoken the words; "What happened the other night made me realise it's time for a change", she had believed I had been talking of a different night entirely. I had been referring to the incident where Jasper had tried to kill her, but she had already dismissed that event in her mind. She had forgiven Jasper as soon as it happened. She had been well aware of the risks of spending time with vampires, but had considered them an acceptable price to pay for being with me. She would have literally rather died than be without me. She had believed that the night I had been referring to was the night we had made love. She thought I was leaving her because she had assumed that that night was so unfulfilling and disappointing to me. She could not have been more wrong. It was the most amazing experience of my existence.

I watched myself, through her eyes, tell her that my family had already left her. I felt it as a giant hole was punched right through her chest, as she mistakenly decided that the family she had loved as her own, had not felt the same way about her. I saw with her poor human vision, that she had stumbled through the woods after me in a vain attempt to find me. I had not realised until that moment that she had followed me that day. I felt the cold seeping through her body as she lay motionless on the wet bracken, hypothermia gradually setting in. She was unable to find the will to move. I knew that if no one found her, she would have died in the forest the night I left her, along with the unborn child that neither of us had been aware of at that point.

xxx

As I surfaced from the moonlit nightmare of Bella's last memory of me, the morning sunlight in the throne room of the Volturi castle made me blink. It took me a second to realise I was once again alone in my own mind, back in the present. I was looking at my daughter. She was staring through me, unseeingly, her expression sorrowful. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she was shaking. Her knees started to give way, but before she hit the floor, Bella scooped her up in her arms. Bella cradled Renesmee into her chest, whispering soothing murmurings into her ear. She carried our daughter from the room, without a word or look for anyone else, as if they were the only two people in the world.

Aro was slowly rubbing his temples with his fingertips. He looked devastated. "One day I will learn to listen to Bella," he berated himself quietly. "Despite her young age she has a way of seeing the world and she is nearly always right. She certainly was this time. No good was ever going to come of this." He shook his head briskly as if only just aware he wasn't alone. He looked towards the empty thrones.

"Fred, Demetri. I know that wild werewolves couldn't keep you away from my girls right now. Go. You are excused."

Bella's husband was finally identified to me as Fred. Such a simple, ordinary name for the person I hated almost as much as I hated myself. He and Demetri snapped into action at Aro's words, as they had already been tensed to move. They ran from the throne room so quickly that it almost appeared that vampires could fly as they raced after Bella and Renesmee.

Aro turned his attention to Marcus and Caius.

"We need to decide how to proceed, my brothers." He said. "Renesmee has made her thoughts on the matter clear. Unfortunately, she has an opposing opinion to Isabella."

"You are underplaying the vehemence of Renesmee's feelings Aro," Caius grimaced. "My head is literally pounding from the thoughts she was screaming in my mind."

"It is so unusual for them to disagree with such passion" Marcus said sadly. "I fear it will be impossible not to hurt one of them."

Their discussion was interrupted by the click of the door. A medium height female vampire entered. She had light brown hair, flowing in waves down her back. She was wearing a deep blue sundress and knee high boots. She moved fluidly across the room. Aro rushed to meet her.

"Is it true, Aro?" She asked urgently. Aro threw a look at my family and she turned towards us, her gaze resting on me. Her eyes narrowed to slits and she hissed at me. I shrank back from her ferocious glare. She returned her attention back to Aro.

"Is everything well with our girls, Aro? How are they coping? What verdict has been reached?"

"We have something of a conundrum, my dear. Isabella has asked us to let them go free but Renesmee feels passionately that they should be punished to the full extent of the law. Both of them feel equally as strongly. The council meeting has been...emotional. The situation is unprecedented and I would value your opinion Sulpicia."

Aro waited patiently while Sulpicia considered the situation. "I think it would be unwise to decide anything while emotions are so highly charged. There is no rush for a verdict. Let the girls work things out between them first, then you can be guided by them, as is proper."

"Do you think keeping them prisoner in the castle is wise?" Caius asked, leaving the top step to join Aro and Sulpicia. "It is not really our style."

"I was thinking more along the lines of treating the Cullens as guests. Carlisle is an old friend and he deserves such respect. It's not likely that they will run. If they did, Demetri could find them anywhere and I'm fairly sure that in their case he would make an exception to his own rule and burn first, ask questions later."

"That's true," Caius responded with an evil smile.

"We are not expecting any other visitors as Daniel's birthday is coming up. We could house them comfortably in the guest wing, for as long as is required."

"Any objections to my wife's suggestion?" Aro asked Caius and Marcus.

"It is a good interim solution, I think," said Marcus.

"Agreed," said Caius.

"So what of the girls?" Sulpicia asked.

"Renesmee was distraught. Bella had to carry her out," Aro told her gravely.

Sulpicia was obviously shocked at this revelation. "Felix, your cloak, if you please?" She said suddenly, whirling towards Felix. Felix blinked in surprise and then looked to Aro as to how to respond.

"Sally, please don't be rash. Fred and Demetri have gone after them. I know they will be fine. There is really no need to leave the castle, especially not in the middle of the day," Aro pleaded with Sulpicia.

"I have to talk to them, make sure they are okay. Are you going to stop me Aro?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, of course not." Aro seemed shocked she would ask that.

Sulpicia turned back to Felix and held out her hand impatiently. Felix quickly unfastened his coat and passed it to her. She threw it over her shoulders, raised the hood with a flourish and swept from the room.

Aro linked his hands, placed them on the top of his head and then ran them slowly down the back of his skull while muttering to himself with his eyes closed.

"Get the Cullens out of my sight, Alec." He commanded.

**AN: Thanks for reading.**


	9. 8: These wounds won't seem to heal

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: ****Thank you for reading and especially for your reviews which do shape the way I tell the story, even though most of the plot developments are already set.**

**8: These wounds won't seem to heal**

Alec led us across the castle to another one of its turrets. We stopped in a windowless room on the ground level. It was circular and approximately the same diameter as the throne room, but that was where the similarities ended. Whereas the throne room was sparsely furnished with only five carved chairs, this room was elaborately decorated. Tapestries and huge oil paintings in gilded frames adorned the wall, almost completely obscuring the stone. A thick rug comprised of dark swirling patterns looked as if it had been weaved with the dimensions of the room in mind. A wrought iron spiral staircase led up to the floor above. There was dark stained oak furniture dotted around, but only minimal seating, instead there was plenty of space to stand. It was a communal living area, designed with the needs of vampires in mind.

"This is our guest wing. Carlisle is familiar with it," Alec told us. "You can decide amongst yourselves which private rooms will best suit your coven, all of them are vacant at the moment. I'd advise you keep to these quarters until you hear otherwise. I will leave you to get settled."

As Alec exited the room I turned to face the accusatory stares of my family and miserably waited for them to start vocalising the recriminations they were formulating in their minds.

Alice was the first to break the ominous silence. "How could you?" She demanded, vibrating with anger. "How could you say those things to her? You must have seen how much you were hurting her, and yet you still continued. You left Bella to die in a forest. What on earth possessed you?"

"Son, you told us that you were going to explain the truth to Bella about why you felt it was best for us all to leave her. We would never have left without speaking to her if we had any idea what you were actually planning to say." The weight of Carlisle's disapproval weighed heavily on me, as usually no matter what I had done I could rely on his support and understanding.

"I never planned to say those things, so I had no time to contemplate the repercussions." I defended myself instinctively, although I knew my actions were indefensible. "I intended to tell her the truth but I could see she wasn't going to accept it. She would never have moved on. She would've spent her life chasing me. I wanted her to live her human life." I tried to explain myself, but even to me the words fell flat. How could I have so thoroughly underestimated the consequences of my decisions?

"She wasn't going to be able to move on from you when she was carrying your baby, was she?" Emmett waded in.

"Obviously I never imagined that was a possibility," I snapped at him.

"You gave no indication you had even moved your relationship to that level," Carlisle said grimly. "You were so adamant that would never be possible because she was human. You claimed you lacked the self control."

"He clearly did lack the self control Carlisle," Emmett laughed humourlessly, unsuccessfully attempting to diffuse the tension. "The parents are always the last to know when a son finally..." I prevented him from finishing the vulgar analogy that I had seen in his mind, by cutting him off with a growl. Even when I was drowning in despair, Emmett still had the capacity to make me burn with rage.

"Don't growl at me Edward," I saw that Emmett had been trying to keep a lid on his own fury. Emmett always understood the gravity of a situation, but took it upon himself to maintain a light hearted facade to reduce the stress of his constantly intense siblings. I had finally pushed him too far and broken through his carefully constructed barriers. "How could you treat my little sister that way and yet still pretend that you loved her," he snarled, his words burning with intensity.

I couldn't allow any of my family to insinuate I didn't love Bella. My rage overcame me. As I made to spring at Emmett, Jasper grabbed hold of me and held me back.

"Don't take this out on Emmett," Jasper said harshly. "I felt how much you loved Bella and even I'm questioning it. If I hadn't just witnessed it for myself, I would never have believed it were possible that you could hurt her so badly and then walk away."

"It was because I loved her so much that I was able to do it," I retorted.

"Every single one of your choices that week was ridiculous and I was too consumed with my own self loathing to see the situation logically at the time." Yet again Jasper was furious with both himself and with me. "On top of everything else, you didn't even tell her about the rules of secrecy."

"I didn't think..."

"You didn't think?" He hissed. "At any point she could have confided in someone without understanding the risk, not just to her but to our whole family. As it is, we are still in considerable danger. I've no idea how Bella has managed to protect us from the Volturi for so long but it was still not enough. You were beyond idiotic."

"As much as I agree that Edward made some very poor choices, we all need to accept some of the responsibility for this. Especially me," Carlisle reasoned. "It's true that I wish I'd known that Edward hadn't explained things honestly to Bella before we left. If I'd been aware of that, then when Bella called me for help, I would have chosen the words I said to her much more carefully. However it was me, not Edward, that said those things to her, me that refused to hear her out and me that implied she meant nothing to us. I led Bella to believe I didn't care about her and I've never felt more wretched. It's only in retrospect I realise how many mistakes we all made concerning Bella. We truly underestimated her," Carlisle was completely as miserable as he'd ever been in my presence.

"Do you think she'll ever be able to forgive us?" Alice asked in a tiny voice.

We all sank into our own private reveries, remembering images of Bella's past that we'd seen today. We were contemplating how it was possible that I had a daughter when we'd never even imagined it was possible for a human to conceive a vampire's child. All of us already felt a strong connection to Renesmee, she was a part of me and therefore we already considered her a part of our family. But in view of the way our first meeting had gone, we were wondering whether we would ever get the chance to know her.

It was difficult to decide who would go mad first, me or Jasper. Jasper was struggling under the torrent of emotions and I was tormented by the kaleidoscope of images my family were supplying of Bella in both emotional and physical pain.

Esme was the worst. She had remained silent through everything, but she was the most devastated of all. She was so disappointed in my actions and although she would never say so, she thought I was the one to blame for hurting Bella, for us missing out on Renesmee's life and for the danger our family was now in. I couldn't bear to listen to what she thought of me. I had to get away.

But I had nowhere to go. Alec had made it clear the rest of the castle was off limits. The only way was up. I darted up the spiral staircase to the next level. It was split into two private guest suites, separated by a wide corridor running the diameter of the turret. It was not far enough to escape the tormenting minds of my family, so I continued up several more floors, past decadent rooms, suites and communal areas until I finally reached the roof. I took a deep breath of warm Tuscan air and concentrated on blocking their thoughts from my mind.

The trapdoor that accessed the roof was shaded by a huge conical thick canvas canopy. Its purpose was obviously to prevent exiting vampires from sparkling in the sun, flashing like the beacon of a lighthouse for all of Volterra to see. The shadow it threw led to a stone hide. I secured myself inside and was rewarded with the most amazing view of Italy, laid out for miles before me. I barely glanced at it, instead sinking to ground and into the personal hell that was my mind. The sun ebbed across the sky. It took both seconds and forever for the darkness of night to creep up on me. Only when it was late into the night did I finally gather the strength to move, steeling myself with the realisation that this was not just about me, but also about my family, my daughter and my Bella. I deserved anything they could throw my way. As I silently made my way back to the trapdoor, still concealed from the outside world by the shadows of the canopy, movement from the castle courtyard below caught my attention.

I moved to the shadow of the high stone battlements and peered out between the crenulations that allowed me a clear view down without being seen from below. Aro was pacing anxiously, completely alone. I wondered if anyone else had ever seen him looking so vulnerable. It distracted me from my own misery and I found myself mesmerised by him. He froze as a concealed gate opened. Bella and Sulpicia emerged, arm in arm.

Aro rushed to meet them. "Sally," he said, his voice infused with relief. "I've missed you. I can barely function without you close by. The thought that something may happen to you has been torturing me all day." He stroked his hands over her face gently, as if checking it against his memory.

She smiled warmly at him. "Aro," she said patiently. "You know no harm could ever come to me in the company of Fred and Bella. I'm possibly more protected by their presence than I am in the castle."

"I know you speak the truth, but the further away you are, the less rational I am," he said with a rueful smile.

He turned to Bella, "Thank you for bringing her safely back to me," he said with genuine gratitude.

"Of course Aro, did you expect anything less?" She replied kindly.

"Well, your own problems are complex, and I'm partly to blame for them. I'm so sorry Bella. I deeply regret the hurt I have caused you today," he said remorsefully.

"You are not to blame, Aro. I kept things from you and I should have trusted you. But when I first arrived in Volterra it was too painful to think about, let alone talk about and I didn't know if I could trust any of you then. The more time that passed, the more difficult it was to see the best way to tell you without hurting Renesmee and then Fred. My only excuse is that I was hindered by my inability to consider the options with Renesmee and her gift constantly close by."

"How is Renesmee?" Aro asked gravely.

"She's gone hunting with Demetri. He's the only one of us she can bear to be around at the moment." This obviously saddened Bella.

"What has Fred done?" Aro asked curiously. "She's always felt able to confide him before."

"He failed to muster enough anger with me to satisfy her. He tried to say what she needed to hear, but her own anger has robbed her of her manners. She looked into his mind and saw that he doesn't blame me for hiding the truth from them and he understands and accepts my decisions."

"And Demetri _is_ angry with you?" Aro asked surprised.

"Not as such. But he is irritated that I didn't confide in him when I was a newborn. He'd thought it was because my human memories had blurred during the transition and I couldn't tell him rather than because I wouldn't tell. Also, because Demetri and I were never romantically involved, Renesmee doesn't think he needs to be as angry as she thinks Fred should be."

"You seem almost amused," Aro said admiringly. "Your strength astounds me."

"Talking with Sally is soothing for the soul. She has helped me to regain my perspective." Both Bella and Aro smiled lovingly at Sulpicia.

"I honestly believed dealing with the matter swiftly was for the best," Aro explained. "I shared your desire to protect Renesmee from this. I'd hoped for the matter to be dusted before her return home."

"We were both foolish," Bella responded. "Hiding things from Ness is impossible and we both should've known better. I suspect she'll forgive you quicker than she'll forgive me though."

"What precipitated her early arrival?" Aro wondered.

"Daisy called her. She was worried when me and Fred returned home unexpectedly and then rushed to prepare for the council. We had no time to explain anything to her and she picked up on our anxiety. Jaden was upset so Daisy phoned Ness for advice. Ness knows that even if she is away, we always inform her before a council and give her the option to attend, so she knew something was wrong. She called Daniel and he brought her home."

"Ahh...I see." Aro nodded in understanding. "That makes sense." But it didn't make sense to me. I wished I knew of the vampires to whom they were referring. They were obviously well known to Bella and my daughter, but I had never heard of any of them before. I wondered about their relationships. I grieved that I knew almost nothing of their life here with the Volturi.

"Renesmee rushed to the castle, very worried as to the nature of the council," Bella continued to explain. "She reached out to my mind for reassurance, unfortunately almost exactly as you accessed my memories. She saw everything." Despair was creeping back into Bella's voice. "She never should have had to see some of those things. I was so involved in our exchange Aro, that I didn't realise her proximity until it was far too late."

"It will be okay Bella," Aro reassured her. "You are the most selfless person I've ever come across. I thought I knew that before I read your mind, but I had no idea. Your consciousness is filled with light, no one else's mind has come close to comparing...except maybe Carlisle's when he first stayed with us, but much has changed since then. Renesmee can read you more easily than I can. It will be literally impossible for her not to forgive you."

"I hope you're right Aro," Bella sighed.

"Of course he is," said Sulpicia, enveloping Bella in a tight hug. "Let Demetri work his magic, give Ness a chance to cool down and then talk it through. When she sees how pure your intentions were, she'll understand your actions. Now Aro, you will have to excuse us. Bella wishes to talk to the Cullens and I've promised to accompany her."

xxx

As I rejoined my family I was alternating between thrumming with anticipation of Bella's arrival and quaking with dread at her possible reactions to us. Jasper shot me a curious look.

"Bella's coming," I explained to him, grabbing the full attention of the rest of my family who had been deep in discussion about the nature of Renesmee's gift.

As Bella and Sulpicia entered, my family shifted to face them. Guilt was rolling off us in waves. We had no idea what to expect and were all hoping nothing could make matters worse...that surely had to be impossible. We waited for Bella to speak but she stood, unmoving. It was Sulpicia who addressed us.

"My daughter has an amazing inability to hold a grudge and she wants a chance to speak to you. Before she does I would like you to know that the rest of my family are more than capable of holding it for her. We will not forget the way you have treated her and if I were you I would tread very carefully in our home. However, you are currently guests of the Volturi, so you are free to move around the castle and the city. Also you may leave to hunt, of course. All that said, you will be staying with us until your fate has been decided." She stepped back and gestured gently to Bella, encouraging her to speak.

"I need to know your intentions regarding Renesmee," Bella began hesitantly. "I realise even the possibility of her existence was a shock for you, but now you are aware of each other I'm concerned, I want to minimise the amount she'll be hurt."

"It's your fault she's hurt," snapped Rosalie, before anyone else had a chance to respond. "You should never have kept her from her family and you will not keep her from us any longer."

Bella bristled at this, drew herself up straight and turned to face Rose. "You should consider it paramount to your survival that you do not approach Renesmee. You will wait for her to initiate any contact; the consequences for doing otherwise would be irreversible," Bella's voice was steely and her eyes ice cold. Even Rose was not immune to the implicit threat, or the authority with which Bella delivered it.

"Bella," Esme implored, "we'd never want to do anything that might hurt Renesmee. She is Edward's daughter and we consider her family."

Hurt flashed across Bella's face, but she was able to compose herself quickly. Even so, Esme realised the double meaning of her words and that Bella had misconstrued them, thinking that we'd been able to hurt her because we did not consider her family.

"Bella...I didn't mean...of course we never meant...we always loved you," Esme stammered, appalled at herself for hurting Bella further.

Bella obviously did not accept that. "It doesn't matter either way," Bella said, sadly. "I'm only concerned about Renesmee."

Esme wished she knew what to say, but couldn't find the words to explain how much she loved Bella and that she would never want to hurt her either. She looked to Carlisle for support.

"We're so very sorry for the way we treated you Bella, we always cared and we acted with the best of intentions. It's only now that we realise how very wrong we were." Carlisle said sincerely.

Bella shook her head angrily. "Please don't insult me by trying to use me to get closer to Renesmee. The actions of each and every one of you prove how unconcerned you were about me. You don't need to try and appease me. I will not stand in the way of any relationship between Renesmee and your family, but I will insist on it being on her terms. At the moment she is very angry and with her gift any contact could be detrimental to you all."

"What exactly is her gift?" Carlisle asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

"She's a sending and receiving telepath," Bella told us. "She has good control under normal circumstances. She is able to selectively read only the minds that she chooses to and usually only projects thoughts when she wants to. However, it can be hard for her to block emotional or intense thoughts. Also, when she is distressed she often reaches into someone's mind without thinking, either to read or to project and I don't want her to be further adversely affected by what she might see or hear."

"What happened in the throne room earlier?" Emmett wondered, having never experiencing anything like it before and hoping that what we had seen was exaggerated in some way and that we hadn't hurt Bella as badly as he now feared.

"I don't know exactly what she showed you, she told me I had relived those memories enough already," Bella told us, troubled. "She has the ability to take a memory she has seen in another's mind and project it into yours so that you feel as if you are experiencing their past from their perspective." Emmett's hopes were dashed. Everything we had seen was exactly what Bella had gone though because of us.

"Amazing," said Carlisle, awed by the scope of Renesmee's gift.

"Yes she is," Bella agreed, some of her anger dissipating, "but her gift is only a small part of that."

"Bella," Alice began timidly. "Carlisle and Esme were speaking the truth. We know that we have behaved appallingly, but despite what you might believe, we have always loved you. Is there anything we can say to convince you of that?"

Bella shook her head again, sadly this time. "No, I know your abilities to deceive are unparalleled. Even if there was any truth to that at all, I doubt I could accept it; when I was changed I believed that I meant nothing to you."

Alice and Esme gasped as the implications of that statement set in. When our human bodies died and we spent three days burning to become a vampire, our human personalities and characteristics were frozen as they were at the moment of our death and remained unchanged for the rest of our immortal days. Shifts in our beliefs were rare and monumental, usually only occurring when we found our mates. This was the reason Carlisle had been able to resist human blood despite his relentless thirst. This was the reason Jasper had recovered from his years with Maria, his core personality of a soldier eager to protect the innocent had survived despite the atrocities he had been forced to be a part of. If Bella had died believing we did not care about her, or worse if she had hated us, almost nothing would be able to change the way she felt.

Jasper let out a small grunt and sunk to his knees, his face a mask of pain, unable to cope with the feelings Alice, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme and I were emitting in addition to his own. Bella seemed momentarily confused but then gasped in understanding. Suddenly Jasper's mind was silent to me and the emotions he had been unable to contain, stopped projecting. He stared incredulously at Bella, then moved slowly towards her and pulled her into a fierce hug.

"Thank you," he whispered to her. "You have no idea how peaceful that is. How long will it last?"

"I can keep it up the entire time you're in Volterra Jasper, but would you want me to?" Bella asked. "Isn't it like having one of your senses cut off?"

"I've been driven to almost complete emotional burn out from the intensity and complexity of what my family have been going though these last few days," Jasper explained. "It's such a relief to know what I am feeling at this moment belongs to me. The weight of my own guilt for the incident on your birthday and how we ignored you afterwards is a big enough burden alone, without the additional feelings of my family added to it."

"I never once blamed you for that Jasper, even before I understood how intense bloodlust is for myself," Bella told him honestly.

Jasper pulled away from Bella, holding her at arm's length and gazing at her with wide eyes.

"Bella..." he began, awed, but Bella cut him off with a brisk shake of her head.

"Please don't say anything about that now Jasper, it will be too much for me to cope with at the moment," she told him. "I will keep you shielded until you ask me to stop." She freed herself from Jasper and returned to Sulpicia's side, before addressing my whole family. "Do not seek out Renesmee," Bella instructed, her voice once again ringing with authority, "I will let her know that you are anxious to see her, but that I've told you that you must wait for her to come looking for you."

"Bella..." Alice tried again.

"Please Alice, there's nothing more to say," Bella's tone was final.

xxx

Almost as soon as Bella left, I escaped back to my new sanctuary on the turret roof. I'd been without my family almost exclusively for the last twenty years, with the exception of a few rare visits. I felt much more comfortable in solitude, especially considering how angry my family was with me at the moment.

I kept a close vigil on the courtyard this time, hoping for a glimpse of Bella. I had felt unworthy to even speak in her presence, such was the shame I felt for my how my actions had hurt her. But I was like an addict when it came to her, even without the lure of her blood she was still my own personal brand of heroin. Despite everything that I'd been forced to realise since Bella had saved us from Maria's army, my proximity to her meant that I felt better than I had since the day I left her in Forks.

It was hours before my impatience was rewarded. Bella started across the courtyard, but came to a sudden halt when the first rays of sunrise darted over the horizon, signalling dawn.

"Crap," Bella muttered.

"Tsk, tsk, Isabella," Felix leered, emerging from the shadows of the courtyard directly below me. "You just came very close to breaking the secrecy law and being caught out in the sun. What a shame it would be to tear up such a magnificent body as yours." He stopped only when he was right in front of her, blocking her way and towering over her.

"Don't get excited Felix," she said icily, "I'll simply have to take the underground exit, that's all."

"There is always a risk to travelling during daylight," he told her. "I could think of many better things you and I could be doing and none of them involve you exposing yourself to anyone but me."

"Don't push your luck with me today, Felix," she replied scornfully. "You are by no means irreplaceable and I'm more than capable of ensuring you are expelled from the Volturi through the fire exit."

Felix glowered with rage at her threat, but she merely raised her eyebrow at him, unconcerned. Felix looked like he was about to lose control of his temper and appeared to pose a real danger to Bella. I wondered if her lack of survival instinct had followed her from her human life and if it had, how had she survived for so long? The need to protect her at all costs surged through me. I prepared to drop from the battlement to the courtyard, but before I jumped, Felix suddenly flew across the courtyard backwards, as if pushed powerfully by an invisible force. He landed hard on his back, sprawling on the ground, distinctly lacking any vampiric grace. Fred appeared from nowhere, looming over Felix, feral growling ripping from deep in his chest.

"Never threaten Bella again or I will bury your head in concrete, fifteen metres away from your body," Fred told him, in a low voice.

"Actually, Bella was threatening me," Felix said clambering to his feet and dusting himself off, clearly trying to hold on to a scrap of dignity. "Are _you_ challenging me Fred?" He asked gruffly.

"No, I was stating the facts. Fortunately for you, I have more pressing things to do today than claim another victory from you. However, if you want to challenge me, you know I'd never refuse."

"Another time then," Felix grumbled, skulking away.

Fred returned to Bella, all signs of aggression slipping away. "I realised you had probably left it too late to come home the pleasant way and I thought you might appreciate an invisible escort to save you a trip though the sewers," he said pleasantly.

"Thank you," Bella said warmly, taking his hands. "You do know that I can take care of myself, don't you?"

"Of course," Fred replied, easily. "But you can be way too nice and considerate. You lack the open aggression needed to get through to someone like Felix and I enjoy looking out for you. I can stop if you'd prefer. I know you are a force to be reckoned with."

"No, I love it when you do that and as long as you know you don't _need_ to, feel free to intervene whenever you _want_ to." She pulled him close and kissed him briefly on the lips. "Is there any news?" She asked more anxiously.

"Ness called," Fred told her. "She wants to speak to both of us together. She asked for us to meet her at the Acropolis at ten."

"The Acropolis? At ten? On a sunny day?" Bella asked, incredulously. "We'll have to say under the influence of your gift at all times and we won't be able to speak out loud in case we are overheard by a curious tourist."

"I think that may be the point, my love," Fred smiled. "She wants to establish exactly what we are thinking and what better way to guarantee that than ensuring the conversation can only be held in our minds."

"Are you sure you want to do this Fred?" Bella was concerned. "It will be an incredible surrender of our privacy."

"I know you will go to meet her exactly as she asks, no matter what the personal cost to you. Like I told you on the plane, we will deal with whatever happens together. We have several hours to talk and ensure no unpleasant surprises will come our way. Remember, I will always love you and I'll stand by your side, no matter what." Fred sounded absolutely sincere. "Besides, the view from there is amazing and we've never seen it in the sunshine, I bet we'll be able to see for miles," he added with a wink.

They gazed into each other's eyes for a long moment, before sharing a gentle but intense kiss that would rival one of Jasper and Alice's for depth and love. They disappeared into thin air in the blink of an eye as the pieces of my heart crumbled. My Bella was lost to me forever, but I couldn't end my suffering by forcing the Volturi to punish me, as I'd always planned to do if I was ever deprived of her permanently. It was not only about Bella and me anymore. I had a daughter. Renesmee mattered just as much and I could never intentionally hurt her. I had to make her understand that I would always love her and I was truly sorry that my actions had kept me absent from her life for so long. However, this would probably prove difficult, as she currently hated me and Bella had forbidden me from going anywhere near her on pain of death. My only hope was that Renesmee would seek me out, but considering her reaction to me and my family in the throne room, that seemed very unlikely.

**AN: Thanks for reading. **


	10. 9: Your presence still lingers here

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing, especially Kyles02, berdb and oxymoron8 who keep coming back to read and review and always make me smile.**

**A few people have been asking for a chapter from Bella's POV and some of you are wondering about the true nature of Fred and Bella's relationship. I thought I'd give it a try, but it has proved very difficult as Bella knows too much and kept trying to give away plot twists. Eventually I got there and I hope it's okay. So here it is, Bella introducing you to Fred...**

**xxx**

**9: Your presence still lingers here**

**BPOV**

Fred and I headed up the hill towards the Acropolis at a meandering human pace. We had talked for hours in preparation for our daughter's invasion into our minds. Fred was relaxed, unconcerned as always. I was anxious, over thinking as always. I looked at Fred and he smiled easily at me, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

Fred was such an important part of my afterlife. My rock. My partner. I was really hoping that our relationship would survive this unchanged. Every part of me had been on high alert since we caught our first sight of the Cullens facing Maria's army. I felt that everything that Fred and I had built together was teetering on a precipice. One thing I'd known for sure was that the Cullens could potentially destroy my happiness again, this time by arriving rather than by leaving.

I contemplated how fantastically lucky I was to have Fred. His amazing appearance was only eclipsed by his kind, strong nature. There were three sides to Fred. The facade he projected to most of the world was aloof, stony even. He was able to keep his personality as invisible as he was able to keep every other part of him. He didn't give anyone the benefit of the doubt; if he didn't know you, he didn't give anything away. Once he'd decided, it was difficult to sway him. If you were lucky enough to gain his respect, he was kind, loyal and generous. If you crossed him, you risked exposing his deadly side; the fearsome vampire warrior. I loved every different side of him.

We'd spent the last few hours talking about our individual pasts and our hopefully mutual future. We'd known much of it before today, from stories already told, from snippets of our pasts that we'd already shared and from implications and suggestions we'd made over the seventeen years we'd known each other. But we had never discussed his full history chronologically and completely openly before. As I had listened to Fred's story, at times my heart broke for him and in other moments it swelled. If I had any tears to cry, they would have fallen for him and when he'd finished I loved him even more.

Alfred Stanley Taylor was born on 12th December 1812 in Alexandria, Louisiana. Most of his human life had been relatively sheltered. He worked hard, helping to support his family from a young age and married his childhood sweetheart Katherine in 1830 when they were both 18. Their daughter Louisa arrived almost exactly a year later. He'd been content. As he was telling me about his human family I began to tense, knowing that they couldn't have had the happy ending that they deserved.

Everything changed for Fred after he got involved in a street brawl in 1835. The result of this incident was arrested and his whole family stood to lose everything. As he recounted these events, I could sense that he blamed himself for everything that happened in the chain reaction that fight had started.

A group of volunteer soldiers called the Greys had been passing through Alexandria, on their way from New Orleans to join the Texan Revolution. They had witnessed the fight and were impressed with Fred's combat skills. They drafted him to join them, offering him a way to avoid the charges against him and therefore avoid his punishment, thus protecting his family and sending home a regular wage. He jumped at the chance to redeem himself.

The last few months of Fred's human life had been very violent. He'd fought at the Alamo, and should by all rights have died in the massacre when the Mexican army destroyed the Texan defenders, including most of the New Orleans Greys. As a human he'd had no idea how he'd survived that particular battle, but on reflection once changed, he realised that it was probably an echo of his future gift that saved him. He went on to fight at the battle of San Jancito. This was the battle that ultimately ended the war, leaving the Texans victorious with a relatively small loss of life on their side this time. Unfortunately Fred was one of the unlucky few and his human life ended that day.

It was fairly common practice for vampires to haunt battle fields. It was a good way for them to gorge themselves on blood without raising suspicion. Fred was caught by a vampire he didn't even see coming, so his subconscious had no time to react by using his gift to hide him. As he felt the teeth slice into his neck and the pain of the venom spreading, his gift had fully sprung up, in a too late attempt to protect him. He had vanished; his scent, his taste, his appearance, all gone. The effect had only lasted a few seconds, but had caused the vampire to desist from feeding in surprise. This vampire quickly realised how potentially gifted Fred was, so instead of continuing to drain him, he allowed the venom to spread through Fred's body, changing him.

Fred's experience as a newborn had been violent and bloody. He skimmed over his initial vampire years quickly, resuming his full story after he had started to wander alone. He had managed to hold onto his human memories of his wife and daughter and desperately wanted to return to them. He spent a few more years working on getting his bloodlust under control, before travelling back to Alexandria. His wife had been a widow for a long time by then and had been free to move on, but never had. When he saw her he loved her as much as ever, even though she was human and he was a vampire. But as a fire melted his stone heart, another fire also erupted in his throat. He was devastated to realise he could never be near her because she simply smelt too delicious, only his powerful love for her was able to stop him killing her instantly. He banished himself to the shadows, watching her from a distance as she raised their daughter. Katherine regaled Louisa with stories of her beloved and brave Fred. He did what he was able for them. Protecting them and sending them money whenever he could.

He was grief stricken when his daughter Louisa died giving birth to her third child. Katherine took in their grandchildren, raising them as her own and keeping Fred and Louisa's memories alive for them. She lived until relative old age and as she was fading away Fred finally felt able to approach her. Her scent was so weak that he was able to gather her in his arms and hold her as she took her final breaths. His love for her had not diminished through the years and during both his mortal and immortal life his heart had always belonged to her.

As Fred held Katherine in her final hours, comforting and reassuring her, she'd only opened her eyes once. She saw him, looking the same age as he had when he'd died in battle many years previously, sparkling in the sunlight pouring in through her window. She mistook him for an angel.

"Have you come to take me to heaven Freddy?" she'd asked in a weak voice. Her frailty and her words broke his heart. He explained to her that he had done such awful things that he'd never be welcome in heaven, but he took solace that she'd be reunited with Louisa there and that they'd be able to take care of each other.

"Have you been watching over me all this time, Freddy?" she'd asked wistfully. "Sometimes I could feel you close by. My heart could feel yours, they belong together." He told her he'd tried his best to care for her and protect her, even though he'd not been able to let her see him.

She'd made him a final request, "Please watch over our grandchildren as you've watched over me. Keep them safe for us." He had never been able to deny her anything, and earnestly agreed, sealing his promise with a kiss.

I'd already known Fred had spent most of his immortal life protecting his descendants, although I'd never fully understood his commitment to this cause before. I'd heard many stories over the years, including his punishment of the abusive husband of his great great Granddaughter, his exploits to bail of few of his wayward heirs out of jail, taking measures to deal with suspect landlords or prevent unfair evictions. Whenever any of his descendants had gone to war, he'd followed them. He had been pushed to his limits during the world wars in the early twentieth century, but one thing was for sure, one of the safest places a soldier could be on the battlefield was fighting alongside a descendant of Alfred Taylor, as their battles were never lost. He'd become what Katherine had asked him to be, a guardian angel of the Taylor line.

When I had met Fred, two and a half years after my change, he was finding his situation more and more unmanageable. He had almost a hundred direct descendants and it'd become impossible to fully protect them. He knew what they all looked like, but was only able to keep very distant tabs on them, so was unable to keep them completely safe from harm. He had been devastated when one of his favourites had died in a car accident and he had slipped into a deep depression, remaining completely invisible with absolutely no human or vampire contact for over twenty years. Consequently, he was very lonely and he had begun to doubt that he even existed at all.

The first time I'd seen Fred had been during a crowded street party in a small Italian town. He was a mystery and I was immediately mesmerised by him. He was following a human girl, with his cheek bones and his hair colour, through the market stalls. He was herding her back towards her anxious parents while she was completely oblivious to him, not even realising that she was lost. It was totally surreal. I could tell he was invisible to the humans and even to Demetri who I was with.

At the time Renesmee was sleeping in her own bed in the castle, being watched over by Sally. We were about fifty miles from Volterra and this was the furthest I had ever been from her and it was making me very antsy. I watched this mystery vampire's progress through the crowd, finally distracted from my concerns for my daughter, unable to tear my eyes from him.

Demetri had been chatting comfortably to some humans. The purpose of this excursion was for me to acclimatise myself with interacting with humans without arousing suspicion. This was a key requirement for me to be able to serve in the Elite Guard, which Aro was extremely eager for me to do as soon as I mastered my self control. I had caught Demetri's eye and indicated I needed some distance. He nodded curtly to me, understanding that being around humans without killing them was still very painful at my young age. He trusted me not to act on my impulses and let me excuse myself knowing he would be close by if I needed him. Demetri was my best friend and my brother, he had helped me keep hold of my sanity during my newborn crazy haziness. I know that Ness and I would never have survived in the castle without his support.

I followed the mysterious vampire at a distance, insatiably curious about his inexplicable behaviour. The young girl was swept up by her frantic parents. She frowned at them, not understanding what the fuss was about. The handsome vampire smiled and melted away. I caught up to him in the shadows of a dark alley, stopping directly in front of him as he froze in surprise. He told me later that his first instinct was to rip me to shreds but he was too shocked to stillness to react that way because, in his entire existence, no one had ever been able to sneak up on him before. We looked at each other and saw our own heartbreak and loneliness reflected in the other's eyes and there was an instant connection between us. I reached out my hand to him and he took it without a word. I led him to the moonlit beach and we sat on the shore watching the waves in silence for a long while before he finally asked, "who are you?" his voice melodic and wistful.

There was something about him and the way he spoke. I found myself pouring out my entire story from when I arrived in Volterra, pregnant with my hybrid daughter, through her traumatic birth and my change, my turbulent newborn year, my gift and my training to be one of the Elite Guard. We spoke in hushed whispers as I answered his questions about the Volturi. He told me that ironically, while he was aware of the Volturi, he had always managed to stay under their radar...until now. I smiled and told him nothing had to change. He had the gift of invisibility and my shield would protect his secret. I reluctantly stood to leave, knowing Demetri would be looking for me soon as we had to return to the castle before sunrise. Fred stood up as well and I asked him "where are you going now?"

"Wherever you're going," he'd replied with a smile, "if you let me tag along."

When Demetri and I had returned to the castle with Fred, Demetri said he had never seen Aro so excited by anyone's gift before, even Jane's. Aro told me with a massive smile that the only person in the world he'd ever loved more than me was Sally. Jane had seethed in response to his bold statement and her hatred of me was cemented by Aro's declaration of his fatherly love for me.

Aro had been desperate for Fred to join the Elite Guard immediately, but Fred was very reluctant to abandon his human family obligations. Fred knew that as the numbers of his descendants rose, he was becoming less and less effective at protecting them, but that didn't mean he would ever stop trying. Aro was incredibly frustrated but knew there was nothing he could do to force Fred's hand or Fred would simply disappear, never to be seen again.

After much thought, Aro came up with a plan to assign members of the Eminent Guard to watch over and protect Fred's family, leaving Fred available to serve in the Elite guard. Together Aro and Fred thrashed out their terms. The negotiations went on for weeks and although both Fred and Aro huffed and puffed about the concessions they had to make, it was clear from the twinkle in their eyes that they were enjoying sparring with each other. The outcome was that five members of the Eminent Guard would be charged with monitoring Fred's descendants and assisting them if required. As this was an undesirable assignment, these vampires would rotate in and out of the duty. Whilst on this protection detail they would answer to Fred, who would oversee and coordinate them. So now Fred's descendants fell under the protection of the Volturi and harming one of them was a crime on par with hunting within the walls of Volterra. Fred was once again able to fulfil his promise to Katherine and Aro had Fred's loyalty and his service in the Elite Guard.

Fred and I began to actively serve in the Elite Guard at the same time and from that point on we were almost inseparable. We trained with our gifts together. Fred was very accustomed to only using his gift on himself and Aro had encouraged him to try and extend his field of invisibility. My gift was multifaceted and complex to control, and I had not even been close to mastering its full potential. Together we had been able to improve our control and flexibility. When Fred met Renesmee, she had fallen instantly in love with him, as he had with her. He told me she reminded him of Louisa and it was impossible not to love her.

Nearly every member of the Volturi had assumed that Fred and I were mated, but we both knew that was not the case. We were just two broken hearted, lonely vampires who felt better in each other's company. Over time our relationship had developed and we loved each other very much, but we did not have the unbreakable bond that mates did. The only others who knew the truth about this were the three brothers.

Marcus was able to read relationships. I regularly lowered my shield to Marcus' gift to prove my devotion and loyalty to the Volturi. This was important to reassure both the brothers and the Guard, especially as I had always refused to allow Aro to read me before yesterday. Marcus had read the relationship between me and Fred, and had stated that although it was not a mating bond, it was the strongest bond between two non-mated vampires that he had ever seen.

Aro, Caius, Marcus, Fred and I had discussed it at length, speculating as to the reasons why Fred and I had not developed a mating bond. We were clearly very compatible, enjoyed each other's company and there was no doubt we were attracted to each other. Both our emotional and physical relationships were immensely satisfying.

Aro and Marcus speculated that it was because we both had such strong bonds to others, like our bond with Renesmee and Demetri and our bonds with our surviving human families. They thought this prevented the selfish and exclusive mating bond from developing. Both Fred and I felt that we had already given our hearts away and had them returned broken, mine by desertion and his by death, and that only whole, healthy hearts could mate. Caius was scornful of both those theories, thinking them overly sentimental. He simply believed we hadn't met our true mates yet.

After I had listened to Fred's history, I almost felt embarrassed to share mine. His was a tale was filled with drama, tragedy, true love and dedication whereas mine was boyfriend leaves girlfriend, unprotected sex and unplanned pregnancy. Fred knew almost everything about my life as it was, the only thing I had left out was the eight months that I had known the Cullens. As I told him the rest of my story, he listened intently and sympathetically, never judging me.

Fred had asked me why I had not told Renesmee about the Cullens and I explained it as best I could. Initially I hadn't trusted the Volturi and wanted to protect the Cullens. Even though they didn't feel the same way, I loved them like family. In our first meeting Aro had made it clear that a breach of the secrecy law was punishable by death and I wasn't prepared to be the one to bring that down on them. My newborn years had been so confusing and turbulent. I'd had to balance my bloodlust and erratic emotions with raising my gifted and unprecedented daughter. At the same time I was trying to master my own gift and work out who in the Volturi could be trusted and who was my enemy. Every time I even thought of the Cullens, it felt like a battering ram punched a hole in my chest and the sting of betrayal was making me bitter. As a young girl, Renesmee had had very little control of her gift and my feelings and thoughts associated with the Cullens distressed her, so I very quickly learned not to think of them at all.

When Fred had entered my life, it felt like a balance had finally been found, calmness was restored and I settled into my place within the Volturi, my new found family. Contentment had slowly begun to ebb its way into my life and I found joy in my daughter, happiness with Fred and strong sense of family with Aro, Sally, Caius, Dora, Marcus and Demetri. I found my peace with what had happened at the end of my human life, so I could move on with my immortal one.

I knew that I would always love the Cullens. The love and the accompanying sense of loss and betrayal I had felt for them as my human body died had been frozen during my change. Those feelings had become a part of who I am. My mind would tell me that all they did was leave and that was understandable, but my heart was broken and I was unable to deny the hurt I still felt. I couldn't even think of Edward without it causing me pain, so I tried to avoid my memories of him at all costs.

As Renesmee had got older, she had become curious about her father. I told her about how I'd loved him very much and thought he loved me, but that he had never known about her. I explained that I was concerned that if Aro knew his identity, he may punish him for his indiscretion and that I couldn't live with that. I told her I was prepared to share the full story with her, but if I did she may have to avoid letting Aro read her thoughts in the future, in order to protect her father. Renesmee loved linking minds with Aro, and honestly considered Fred to be her Daddy, so didn't feel she was missing anything. She decided she was happy with her life as it was and told me not to reveal anymore than I already had. That suited me perfectly, so that was how we left it.

Everything I'd told her was true, but I'd put a different spin on it to make it seem like a fairytale rather than the nightmare it was. Now she'd seen the stark, unedited truth directly in my own memories and she hadn't taken it well. I felt as if I'd failed her.

xxx

As we arrived at the Acropolis, we realised that it would not open to the public for another half an hour and groaned simultaneously. We knew Ness had done it on purpose and it was so out of character for her to manipulate us this way. We would be left hanging around waiting for her as we were both sure she would wait until there were others around, to force our conversation to be held in our minds.

Renesmee's gift was complex and powerful. My gift shielded me from every power that originated in any mind, expect for hers. She had always been able to hear and project through my shield as if it wasn't there, although once she had conscious control of her telepathy, she would usually respect my right to privacy. One aspect of her gift was her ability to link minds. When touching someone, she was able to allow them to receive and project the thoughts of anyone else she was touching. To anyone looking on, there would be no sign of communication, but for those linked you could easily hear not only conscious thoughts but the pictures and sentiments behind them. This made it impossible to deceive or obscure what you truly thought.

It was very difficult to justify the need for one of these internal conversations when one of the participants is Fred. He can fully obscure appearance, scent and rustling noises. His gift makes it difficult for anyone to even think about the people it is cloaking. But it didn't prevent someone being able to touch you, you were still there even if no one could sense you. Also voices were difficult for him to hide. Usually this wouldn't prove a problem as vampires could speak too fast and low for humans to hear. But Ness was not a vampire, she was a vampire human hybrid. All her senses were better than a human's but worse than a vampire's, so we would have to speak up. Her choice of the Acropolis was genius really. It was exposed, sound travelled so there was no way we could risk speaking out loud, even in the presence of only human witnesses. There were always tourists around, but only a few so any conversations couldn't be swallowed up by the thrum of a crowd.

As we waited for Ness my anxiety was increasing. I had tried so hard to protect her from the hurt the Cullens had caused me, but instead I feared I had hurt her so much more by not being open and honest. Fred held me in his arms, caressing me reassuringly. I was sure that if he wasn't there I would have imploded from the stress.

"Look on the bright side, at least we will get to see what she is thinking as well," Fred murmured to me.

Renesmee followed the first group of tourists over the crest of the hill. She was glowing in the sunshine. She looked so beautiful and once again I felt grateful that her skin didn't sparkle like ours did, allowing her to bask in the sun rather than lurk in the shadows.

She couldn't see us as we were hidden under Fred's gift, but she knew roughly where we were by hearing the direction of our thoughts. She took an indirect route over to us, keeping out of the line of sight of the humans.

_No one's paying me any attention. _Her voice rang like a soft bell in my mind, probably in Fred's also. _They won't notice if I vanish._

Fred and I shot each other a look, it was a little risky for her to suddenly disappear, potentially bending the secrecy law very close to the castle, but we decided to trust her judgement. She could hear what they were thinking after all. I knew when Fred had enveloped her within his gift, as she was able to focus on us as we appeared to her. She gave us a small nod, so unlike our normal greetings and she looked as nervous as I felt. She reached for us and we linked hands, forming a misshapen small circle. Almost instantly the double echo reverberated in my head, letting me know that my mind was linked with Ness and Fred's.

_I'm sorry, _Ness began. _I know I am being so rude and that you both hate me invading your privacy this way, but I have to know the truth and I need to hear it directly from you two. I feel as though someone has taken all the parts of my life, shaken them and thrown them in the air and I have no idea where they will land. _We could hear the despair in her mental tone.

_We understand Ness, _Fred's thoughts were soothing for both of us. _Although make the most of it, because it won't be happening again anytime soon._

_What do you need Ness? _I asked her. _You can ask us anything._

_Why didn't you tell me Mum? _She asked petulantly. _I thought I had a wonderful father who I was protecting from persecution. It turns out all I had was a flaky, manipulative sperm-venom donor. Dead beat Dad in every sense of the term. _

I ran over my reasons for withholding things from her in my mind, letting her feel my intentions as I had made each decision to gloss or evade.

_How is it possible you don't hate them? I wish I could burn them all from my brain. _Renesmee was genuinely mystified and I could feel Fred's incredulity as well, although he was trying to suppress it.

_I loved them like family, if I hadn't then it wouldn't have hurt so much when they left. _I explained patiently. _That depth of love doesn't just evaporate in a few months. I still loved them when I was changed, so I still love them now._ I could feel the acceptance of my statement in both their minds.

_You don't hate them either Dad? _Ness asked. We could both feel the truth of that from Fred's mind.

_I hate that your mother was hurt. _He thought carefully._ But I can't hate them. If they hadn't made such terrible decisions then I wouldn't have ever found Bella. My life was dark and lonely before I met her and now it's full of love and light. I have a family that I can truly be a part of. Their loss was my gain._

_So neither of you think they deserve any punishment at all? _She was still dubious. We both felt a flash of anger from Fred, contradicting Ness' interpretation of his feelings.

_A boyfriend left his girlfriend of six months when his family moved away. They hardly deserve to be burned at the stake for not keeping in touch. _As I thought it, I was willing myself to believe it and not quite succeeding.

_There's so much more to it than that Mum, and you know it. _Both Fred and Ness were frustrated that I always undervalued the importance of how I felt about anything. _They told you they loved you. He said he would never leave you. They introduced you to a dangerous world and then left you defenceless. When you begged them for help they refused. They left us to die in Forks._

The reminder of how disastrous Renesmee's birth would have been if it had happened in Washington surrounded by humans caused my usually well contained bitterness and resentment to bubble to the surface. For a moment I wished that Fred was not so unconditionally supportive of me and that he'd showed them his inner vampire warrior. Fred raised his eyebrows at me as he digested that thought.

_Just say the word Darlin', _he thought, his mind crackling with anticipation. I took a deep breath to collect myself.

_I will support any decision you make Ness, except capital punishment. _I told her firmly. _I couldn't live with being responsible for their deaths and I don't think you could either. _

_What then? _She asked, resigned.

_You need to decide that for yourself Ness. I told them that they were not to approach you, but they want to get to know you._

_Get to know them? _I threw my hands over my ears in a ridiculous attempt to dampen Renesmee's mental shriek. _I know enough already. They are all clueless idiots. They would rather have that blond haired vindictive harpy in their family than you. That tells me all I need to know about them._

_We could just tell them to leave and not contact us again. _This was my best case scenario and both Fred and Ness could feel it, but Ness did not think it was enough. She wanted some form of retribution.

_No need to rush any decisions Ness, _Fred thought. _Aro has given you time to consider. I know you have already talked to Demetri about it but I think Daniel and Nathan would have some good insights as well. _

Ness nodded her agreement but we could feel her anxiety was increasing not decreasing.

_What else is upsetting you Ness? _Fred asked kindly. Ness was unable to form a solid response, but her thoughts were whirling around mine and Fred's relationship, and her new understanding of our not mated status.

_We love each other very much, _he reassured her.

_And you know how much we both love you, _I added.

_But you don't love each other as much as Aro loves Sally or as Dora loves Caius, _Ness qualified.

As we searched for a way to explain, she reviewed our memories of the discussions Fred and I had had on the subject in the past and the theories we had shared with the brothers, but she was not reassured.

_Think of my love for Bella as pure rather than possessive. _Fred faltered, gathering his thoughts before continuing. _You know in the films Dan and Demetri make us watch, when the 'good guy' only has time to save one of the two people he loves. Well what if there was a set of teeth at each of your necks and I could only save one of you? If I was mated to Bella I would have to save her, it would be instinctual and I'd have no choice. But as things stand I do have a choice and without doubt I would choose you Ness. _My heart swelled with love for Fred and he smiled at me. _And that's just one of the many reasons she loves me so much. She'd make the same choice and that's one of the many reasons that I love her._

_But one of you might find a mate one day and leave. _We could feel Ness' deep set fear that this would happen. We both felt it was incredibly unlikely and let Ness feel it too. _But it could happen, _she insisted.

_If your mother found her mate, I would be happy for her, _Fred's mind was open and honest. _I think she would feel the same way, _my thoughts confirmed his theory. _Above all else she is my best friend and we are family. I would die for either of you without a seconds thought. The mating process has an element of choice, it is not instant and requires an attraction and compatibility. I could never be with someone who would take me away from you Ness. It's impossible. Even if I did find 'my' mate, she would have to love and accept you if she wanted to be with me. You're stuck with me, no matter what._

We could feel the relief radiating from Ness. _So you're best friends, _she clarified.

_It's more than that Ness, _I told her._ Fred and I are in a committed relationship and we love each other very much. We're family._

_Friends with benefits, _an errant thought passed through Ness' mind, a quote from a TV show. It triggered a change in direction in Fred's thoughts. He was remembering a recent night he and I had spent together. His memory caught me off guard and made me clench with desire.

_Eww...stop it, no one needs to see their parents like that! _Ness exclaimed_._ And suddenly we all knew that everything would be alright. All would be well within our family.

A slow easy smile spread over Fred's face at both our reactions. _If you don't like it get out of our heads, _he thought, unrepentantly increasing the intensity of his memory. Ness dropped our hands like they were on fire.

"Let's go," Fred mouthed soundlessly and suppressing silent laughter, the three of us headed home.

xxx


	11. 10: Alone all along

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: Thank you to everyone who is following this story, especially to those of you who reviewed, I really loved every single one. **

**I have rewritten this chapter a few times and just couldn't seem to get it right. TheaJ1 came to my rescue and I now love her as much as I love her writing. Thank you so much.**

**10: Alone all along**

**EPOV**

Several days had passed since I had watched Bella and Fred leave the castle courtyard on their way to meet my daughter. I had seen nothing of any of them since then. My family were unable to leave the castle during the day, as the sun always seemed to shine on Volterra. There was very little in the city to capture a vampire's attention at night and only so much hunting that could be done. I was too lost in my own thoughts to care much about the restrictions on my freedom but some of the other members of my family were not coping as well.

At least the guest turret was well equipped and comfortable. There was a WiFi super-fast broadband connection with a variety of computers, laptops and notepads to access it and no downloading restrictions. There were five separate communal areas, all with large flat screen televisions, satellite boxes and games consoles. The guest library was well stocked with a huge variety of books, films and TV box sets. But despite all of the comforts our accommodation offered, the fact that we weren't at liberty to leave and the uncertainty of our future prevented my family from fully enjoying the facilities.

Jasper was happiest here, which was definitely unexpected. Bella was still shielding him as he hadn't sought her out to ask her to stop, so he was unaffected by anyone else's emotions and I couldn't read his mind. Despite the absence of his empathic ability, he exuded a sense of serenity. This was very out of character, especially as our fates had yet to be decided. Alice was making the most of his good mood and they were spending a lot of time in their suite, taking their minds off our troubles.

Emmett was also managing to keep himself fairly well entertained. He was enjoying challenging Jasper to some of the many games available and, as Bella had negated Jasper's advantage, Emmett was making the most of the now level playing field. When Jasper was reading or with Alice, Emmett was working his way through the DVD collection. Currently he was watching a box set of a British TV show called Red Dwarf and his booming laugher could be heard in even the rooms most distant from his location.

As well as the guest library, both Jasper and Carlisle were frequent visitors to the main Volturi library. Jasper had never been to Volterra before and I didn't need to be able to read his mind to know how much he loved having full access to all the volumes of vampire histories it housed. While Jasper was otherwise occupied in one of the libraries, or with Emmett, Alice was using the internet to manage our portfolios, monitor trends and of course to shop.

Rosalie and Esme were struggling the hardest with the constraints on our freedom.

Esme was finding that nothing could distract her from worrying about her family. She had tried working on her restoration project at one of our most recently acquired properties but, unlike Alice, she was finding internet shopping very unsatisfying and was unable to properly visualise what needed doing remotely. She needed to see, touch and feel in order to make any informed choices.

Rose was seething. She was thoroughly miserable being confined to Volterra. Whenever she was close to me I was engulfed by the vicious thoughts spewing from her mind, fuelled by hatred, jealously and bitterness. Things between her and Emmett were incredibly strained. He hated her attitude towards Bella and she hated that he was not supporting her unconditionally as he always had in the past. Rose was actually considering taking Felix up on his offer of test driving some of the Volturi super cars. Although she would never actually physically cheat on Emmett, he would still consider such interaction with Felix a betrayal, I was sure. I really hoped she'd come to her senses soon, I'd hate to see my brother hurt that way.

Whilst we were free to roam the castle, we weren't exactly being made welcome. The Volturi vampires were frosty towards us, avoiding us entirely whenever possible and when forced to interact with us they were indifferently polite and distant. The only exception to this was Alec. He seemed to have been appointed our liaison to the Volturi. He sought us out to pass on information and see if there was anything we needed. During a recent visit to the guest wing, he had informed us that there would be humans coming and going to and from the castle and that we should be careful not to hunt or expose ourselves in any way. He did not divulge the reasons for their presence, but we were already seeing evidence of it. Delivery vans and contractors were now a common sight. Emmett had been trying to find out what was going on, but so far had been unsuccessful.

I found myself gravitating towards Jasper. I had missed him the most over the previous twenty years. Although my visits to my family had been infrequent, I had found every chance to reconnect with each of them comforting. But whenever I was 'home', Jasper had made himself very scarce. I couldn't blame him. It had been unbearable for him to be around me, the intensity of my negative emotions were actually painful for him.

Today Jasper and I were in the guest library. He was intently reading the journal of one of the Volturi guard, written during the plague of the immortal children. He looked up, still deep in thought and then did a double take as he noticed me, almost as if he had forgotten I was in the room. A small smile played on his lips.

"What are you thinking?" I asked curiously, my frustration at not knowing increased as his smile widened.

"Driving you nuts that you don't know?" He asked playfully.

"You know it is," I snapped.

"Yes, I do know it, I see it…but I can't feel it!" He was grinning now, his eyes dancing with humour. I could not remember him ever looking so carefree and it irritated me.

"In case you've forgotten, our family remains in immortal peril, our fates hinging on the whim of my estranged daughter," I reminded him sourly. At my harsh words his smile faded and his brow creased.

"Of course I hadn't forgotten," his tone and his expression darkened.

"Sorry Jasper," I felt guilty for ruining his moment. "I guess I want it both ways. I love the peace of not hearing what you're thinking but I still want to know."

"Trust me, you don't want to know what I'm thinking at the moment," he said seriously.

"Trust me, I do," I told him unequivocally.

"Even without your gift, you still think you know better than everyone else." I could tell I was beginning to irritate him now.

"Prove me wrong," I demanded, impatiently.

Jasper's eyes narrowed, "I was thinking what a wonderful addition to our family Bella would've been. Her gift would've bought us a harmony that we could never have imagined possible."

I had trouble processing his words, because of the emotional pain they evoked. He showed me no mercy, continuing with his explanation.

"Her shield is truly remarkable. She is nowhere near us and yet she manages to maintain it, just around me, wherever I go. And she is simultaneously shielding the rest of the Volturi from yours and Alice's gifts. Imagine the relief that she could've provided you and me. Our powers could be all gift and no curse. We could've picked and chosen when we wanted to access them."

I truly hadn't given that aspect of Bella's loss to our family any thought until now. I had been consumed with my love for her and how much I missed her personality and presence. Jasper had opened up a whole new set of possibilities. Bella could have offered me silence, total silence and restricted my access to the thoughts of others at any time of my choosing. I groaned under the weight of the realisation that Bella could have completed my life in every way, made every aspect of my lonely existence better and I had squandered the opportunity. I'd left her behind.

Jasper looked remorseful, holding his head in his hands and rubbing his eyes before looking at me.

"Sorry Edward," he came over to me and clapped his hand on my shoulder. "Your self-righteousness really irritates me sometimes and without feeling your pain, I can almost forget what you are going through. This situation we're all in is my fault as well as yours."

"None of it is your fault Jasper, it's all mine," I told him honestly. "By the evening of Bella's birthday I was almost one hundred per cent set on leaving. That incident only strengthened my resolve, nothing more."

Jasper was shocked by my revelation. "Why? What had happened? You hadn't given any indication of what you were considering. All I felt from you that day was love, conflict, frustration and angst; nothing new there. Everyone else was happy and excited for Bella's birthday…until Rose got home that is."

I closed my eyes. I'd never intended to talk to anyone about this, ever. I couldn't stand to think what their reactions would be. But with Jasper's mind closed to me, maybe I could tell him without having to endure his thoughts and mental images. Twenty years I had battled with myself. Maybe it was time to let my brother help me.

"I wasn't worried that you would kill her Jasper, I was worried that I would." Immediately I felt a small but significant reduction in my burden.

Jasper's brow furrowed in confusion. "You always worried about that, since the first moment you caught her scent. What changed that week that made you decide to force us all to leave her?"

"I'll tell you everything Jasper, but it's very difficult for me to talk about, or even to think about. I can't even look at you as I tell you, I'm too ashamed. Please just let me get through the whole story before you say anything." Jasper nodded his consent.

I took a deep breath to compose myself before ploughing on with my version of one of the most shameful weeks of my existence. "Two days before Bella's birthday, a sunny day kept us confined to the house. Alice had seen that if any of us ventured out, there was a possibility we would be seen sparkling either by hikers or by a wildlife photographer that had chosen that day to explore the forest around Forks." Jasper nodded, indicating he remembered the day in question. "You and Alice were…enthusiastically avoiding boredom in your room. Your feelings were overflowing and infusing the rest of the house with lust. As always Rose and Emmett and Carlisle and Esme alleviated their tension in their own rooms, leaving me alone amongst my family once again.

By the time evening eventually came I was feeling beyond frustrated. You were all still otherwise engaged and I was literally crawling the walls. I knew I shouldn't go and see Bella in that state of mind but I had missed her so much and told myself that knowing the risks and Charlie's presence in the house would be enough to keep me under control. I was wrong. Charlie was called out to work because one of his deputies had to go home sick. Bella was always trying to undermine my self-control and that night I was powerless to resist her . I can't even describe what she felt like, I tried to stop myself several times, but couldn't find the will to pull away from her. She was magnificent. Amazing. Irresistible. When it was over my teeth were at her neck. It's a miracle I didn't break her skin, if it had lasted a second longer, she would've been dead. I would have killed her. I had no control. I felt disgusted with myself that I could take something so beautiful and sully it that way.

She fell asleep in my arms, so trusting as always. Through the night I watched in horror as the bruises began to blossom all over her perfect skin as she slept. My hand and finger prints encircling her wrists, over her hips and along her ribs. But even as I hated myself for being too rough with her, a part of me liked to see her marked as mine. I kept thinking it will be okay. She'll tell me that I hurt her and that I should never touch her again and even though my own control was shaky, her will would always be more important to me.

But when she woke, she told me the bruises were nothing. She wanted me to love her again. We argued fiercely about it. I told her I'd kill her if we tried again and she told me I'd already proven that I wouldn't kill her and that it would get easier with practice. She started trying to seduce me and I wanted her so badly. I had no idea how to keep resisting her.

The night of her birthday, even before she started bleeding, I already knew that my only choice was to leave her. In the first second after she cut her finger, I wasn't protecting her from my brother, I was defending my prey from another predator. You saved her life by attacking her, because if you hadn't I would have killed her before I even knew what I was doing.

So I left and I made you all leave to. It took every ounce of control I had to stay away from her. I know you all wanted to check and see how she was doing but I couldn't let you. I so desperately wanted to go back, but I hoped she had moved on and was happy and I knew that if I saw her with any other man, I would kill him. I couldn't do that to her. Can you even imagine the monster that I would've been; I leave her and years later I come back and kill her boyfriend, only to expose her to all the dangers associated with me all over again. Even if I/d only seen her through your minds, I wouldn't have been able to control myself and stay away. I was absolutely convinced that there was nothing in this world more dangerous to Bella than me.

But now I know the truth. I had already killed her before I left, I just didn't know it."

We sat in silence for what seemed like hours before I could finally bring myself to look up at Jasper. He was staring at me with a mixture of compassion and consternation.

"Why didn't you explain this to us before?" he demanded in exasperation. "We could've helped you, supported you. We could've come up with alternative solutions to protect Bella together. Anything would have been better that what actually happened."

"When I talk to any of you about things like this, it's impossible not to see what you are thinking as well as what you are saying. It's unbearable to hear what you justly think of me."

"It may not be too late Edward. When Bella first shielded me, for a second she let me feel her emotions. She's hurt and feels betrayed, but she still loves us. If you were to explain to her what you explained to me, she may be able to forgive you eventually," I could hear the hope in his voice.

"It's too late," I told him.

"Don't you think it's at least worth a try? Honestly what have you got to lose?" He asked, infuriated by my attitude.

"She's married Jasper," I whispered.

Suddenly the private library was crammed with my family. I should've known they were listening. There really was no such thing as privacy amongst Cullens.

"What?" They all chorused.

"How do you know?"

"To who?"

"When did you find that out?"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Are you sure it's true?"

I held up my hands to stop the bombardment of questions and waited for them to give me the opportunity to speak.

"I found out at the airport," I began. Jasper nodded in understanding, realising this revelation must have been what almost brought me to my knees. "I was watching Bella through the minds of the humans when she left ahead of us."

"But who is she married to?" Alice demanded impatiently.

"Fred, the blond haired vampire in the Elite Guard," I told them.

"No way," hissed Rosalie. Rosalie had never felt truly jealous of any one person before. She was more beautiful than most vampires and they could also never have what she wanted. A human could have the family she yearned, but would never have the beauty or the power she yielded. But Bella had everything Rose had ever wanted; beauty, power, a handsome, influential husband and also a child. I could almost sense it as her hatred of Bella deepened.

"Are you sure?" Esme asked, she more than anyone else, was hoping that Bella could be a part of our family once again.

"Yes, I'm sure," I told her regretfully, "I've seen them together, their love seems genuine."

"You can't know that just from seeing a few moments," Alice wished.

"Wherever Bella has found happiness, we should be glad and grateful, she deserved so much more than we ever gave her," Jasper stated decisively. "I'm relieved she has not been alone all these years and no matter what, I will still consider her my sister. But Edward…you owe her an explanation. We all felt the damage you did when you lied to her in the woods the day you made us all leave her. She needs to hear the truth from you." Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Emmett reflected their wholehearted agreement to Jasper's words.

xxx

I wandered the castle looking for Bella. I wasn't having much luck. It was almost a day before I eventually found her. She was hurrying along a corridor, away from Aro and Sulpicia's private chambers. She saw me, acknowledged me with a half-smile and a nod, but continued on her way.

"Bella," I called to her, "can I talk to you?"

"Sorry Edward," she frowned, "I'm running late so I'm in a bit of a hurry right now."

My disappointment must have been evident on my face, because she hesitated.

"It's important," I told her, imploringly.

"Edward, there's nothing new I can tell you," Bella was impatient with me. "Renesmee hasn't made any decisions as yet and she has a lot to deal with at the moment. I don't want to push her into making a choice we'll all regret. She needs time."

"I know and I understand, if she needs time, of course she can have it. I actually wanted to talk to you about us."

"Us?" Bella seemed confused. I used the opening to rush ahead with my apology.

"I'm so sorry for the way I treated you, Bella. I left you and forced my family to leave you. I'm sorry for everything you had to deal with on your own."

"It's fine Edward," she dismissed my apology easily, obviously distracted. "Please don't feel guilty. Not loving someone is not a crime. None of us would've been happy if our entire relationship was fabricated out of a sense of duty. I admit things were pretty awful after you left, but it all worked out for the best eventually and I'm happy now."

"Bella, I lied," I admitted

"About what?" She was genuinely baffled.

"In the forest, when I said I didn't love you." I held my hands open towards her, hoping for a miracle, hoping she would understand why. "I never stopped loving you Bella."

"I don't understand. What are you trying to say?" she looked small and sad, almost like the vulnerable teenager I'd left behind.

"I left to protect you," I explained, trying to keep things simple.

"Impossible," she breathed almost inaudibly.

"Think about it Bella. Try and remember everything I told you. I told you I loved you more because if it came to it I would hurt myself by leaving in order to protect you." The words tumbled out of my mouth now. "I was going to hurt you Bella. I kept trying to tell you that, but you wouldn't listen. The week before I left, I almost killed you twice and you acted like that was nothing, that it was completely acceptable. But it wasn't nothing. I loved you too much to risk your life that way. It broke my heart to leave you, and I've loved and missed you every single second since then."

I could see her processing my explanation. I could almost see the pieces falling into place in her mind. Her lips parted in a silent oh as she froze in place. She didn't move for several minutes. I tried to get her attention by speaking her name, touching her face and shaking her arm, but she just continued to stare through me.

A subtle vibrating finally succeeded in stirring her where I had failed. She answered her phone mechanically, holding it to her ear without speaking.

"Bella? Is everything okay?" The male voice on the other end of the line demanded.

"Fine, Danny," Bella murmured. "Everything is fine."

"You're late. That's not like you. And you sound funny. Are you sure everything is alright?" the concern in his tone was evident.

"Sorry I'm late Daniel." Bella finally seemed more aware of when and where she was. "I couldn't get away from Aro. I'm on my way now," her voice was almost back to normal, but not quite.

"Do you want me to come and get you?" Daniel asked urgently.

"No Dan, it's fine," Bella reassured him. "Is Fred there yet?"

"He just this second came in."

"Can you ask him to meet me?" Bella seemed relieved.

"I'd be quicker," Daniel boasted.

"Not much," Bella smiled into the phone.

"See you soon then," Daniel ended the call.

Bella lowered her phone, took a deep breath and then looked me directly in the eye.

"I could forgive you for leaving because you didn't love me, but leaving me because you did is absolutely unforgivable. It's inexcusable! How dare you make decisions that hurt us both because you presumed to know what was best for me?" Her eyes flashed with anger and her tone was low, but intense. She didn't scream or shriek but I was in no doubt that she was unleashing a fury that I had never seen in her before, and it was fearsome to behold.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I honestly didn't understand anything until Renesmee showed us…"

"You still don't understand anything," she interrupted sharply. "She showed you fleeting moments, that's all. You will never, ever, have any idea what I went through, what I had to deal with, what I gave up." Just as suddenly as it spurted out, her rage drained away. She backed away from me, her face a mask of despair that broke my heart. I would have much rather dealt with her wrath. I started hesitantly towards her.

"Stay away from me," she hissed and I stopped advancing, but I just couldn't leave things like that. I took another small step forwards and her eyes zeroed in on me and narrowed, she looked ferocious.

Without taking her eyes off me she spoke in a tone contrary to her expression.

"Getting a lift with Danny is cheating you know."

I was momentarily confused before I realised we were no longer alone and that Bella hadn't been speaking to me.

"What can I say? I was feeling inpatient," Fred said jovially. Bella's posture relaxed a little as he approached her and she made no move to halt him.

"Is he waiting?" she asked warily.

"No, I told him we'd see him later." Bella let out a little huff of relief at Fred's reassurance.

"Good, he's always so happy and I'd hate to be the one to dampen his mood, especially this week," Bella spoke wistfully.

"We don't have long before he starts hounding us to hurry up though," Fred reminded her. "His enthusiasm knows no bounds. You want me to try and cheer you up before we head over there?"

He pulled her into a hug and she nestled into his chest. I was rooted to the spot in horror at such a display, my body involuntarily tensing into an offensive posture in response to him touching my Bella so intimately. Fred subtly turned Bella away from me, so that I was no longer in her line of sight and sent me a warning glare over her shoulder that was so intense, I actually cowered away from him.

"Good luck with that," Bella mumbled into his shoulder, challenging him to come up with something that could penetrate her mood.

"Hmmm," he thought for a moment. "Nathan will be home in a few days?" he offered, unsurely.

Bella pulled away from him and glared at him in consternation, but even from only her profile, I could see she was suppressing a very slight smile.

"I know we miss him, but you and I both know he has the potential to make this situation so much worse," she admonished Fred.

"Or maybe just more interesting," Fred smiled down at her. "Besides, we've weathered much stormier times than this before."

"Summer of 2017," she replied knowingly, and a grin broke across Fred's face. "Exactly what part of those tumultuous months did you think was funny?" she demanded.

"Sorry Darlin'," he apologised insincerely, "but I was just remembering the incident with Jane. That summer wasn't all bad."

"Jane hates me because of that Fred," Bella told him impatiently.

"Oh Bella, she already hated you long before then. That particular incident was just pure magic," Fred's eyes were twinkling, "a moment never to be forgotten!"

"Stop it Fred," Bella demanded, giving him a playful push away. "You know it was an accident." Bella was trying to sound stern, but she was openly smiling at the memory. Everything about her demeanour was brighter. Fred swooped in and gave her a firm kiss. He appeared very pleased that he had been able to improve Bella's mood so dramatically.

"Let's go," Fred said, grabbing Bella's hand and giving it a gentle tug, "We're already massively late and if we don't get there soon we'll miss all the fun." She followed him without hesitation. As she passed she threw me a livid glance, overflowing with hurt, anger and frustration, letting me know that our conversation was in no way forgiven or forgotten.

After they disappeared around the corner, I sank to my knees, unable to move. Every time I saw Fred and Bella together it felt like my heart was being grated, slowly and painfully. I couldn't even allow myself to be angry. No one was to blame but me. I had broken Bella, and Fred had fixed her. Even now it seemed like every time I saw Bella I would hurt her again and then Fred would swoop in and make her smile. I would be prepared to do almost anything to have her smile at me that way, even if it were only one more time.

As much as I hated Fred, I hated myself more. I could've had everything I had ever wanted but my actions had destroyed it all and it seemed no matter what I did I was destined to bring everyone I loved down with me. There had to be a solution and it was my duty to find it. I loved Bella. I loved Renesmee. I loved my family. Whatever it cost me, I had to find a way to bring them together and let them love each other. But even though I knew I should, even though I clearly didn't deserve her, even though she had moved on as I had hoped and found happiness with someone else, I could never let Bella go. I would fight for her, I had no other choice.

After several hours Jasper came looking for me.

"She didn't take it well," he stated, rather than asked. I just grimaced at him, unable to formulate a coherent response. "Did you expect anything else?" he inquired as I let him drag me back to my family. The only thing I was sure of was that I made terrible decisions on my own and, if I was to have any chance of making things better, I had to at least try and let them in.

**AN: Thanks for reading.**

**I'd love to hear what you think. Is anyone feeling a little more sympathy for Edward? Can you guess what Bella did to upset Jane? If you'd like to know then there is a short explanation in a supplemental chapter I have posted. It's in the story White Noise, which you can access via my profile. I think it's worth a read (but obviously I'm biased!)**


	12. 11: All the sanity in me

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: **_**I have posted a supplemental chapter to this story as a new story called Resonating Light: White Noise. It explains what happened between Jane and Bella in the summer of 2017. It's just a short explanation but gives some insight to the inner politics of the Volturi.**_

**Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing I love you all, especially madnessdownunder2, Sir NickolasJhonstonMarcus III, kyles02, staind782003, oxymoron8, ElizabellaLove and angelplusbuffyequals4ever who keep coming back and review each time.**

**A massive thank you to TheaJ1 and OrAreWeDancers for pre-reading this chapter, catching mistakes and offering invaluable advice. This chapter is better because of you both.**

**xxx**

**11: All the sanity in me**

"Do not do this Rose, please," I begged Rosalie. "You don't want to do this."

"Don't tell me what I want," she snapped over her shoulder. "Use your gift. Look into my mind. This is exactly what I want."

I'd been following Rosalie around the castle for over an hour, pleading with her to reconsider. She and Emmett had had another disagreement and she had charged off in temper. I'd heard in her mind she was planning to find Felix. I couldn't let her make that choice, especially in anger. It would destroy Emmett. But Rosalie was stubborn and not renowned for her listening skills. If anything I was strengthening her resolve. I briefly contemplated trying to physically restrain her but was not confident I would succeed. Rosalie was a vicious fighter.

She rounded a corner just ahead of me and her mental tone was smug as she registered Felix coming towards her. She'd found what she was looking for. Felix smiled widely at the sight of her. I could only imagine what he was thinking.

"Hello, beautiful," he leered, "looking for me?"

"As a matter of fact I was." I felt a little sick as she turned on her charm. Felix smiled even wider.

"Well my day is certainly looking up," he gloated.

"Mine too," Rosalie agreed.

"Rose," I hissed, "this will kill Emmett. Think about what you are doing."

"This is Emmett's fault," she said breezily to me. "He should have considered the consequences of fawning over Bella, choosing her over me. He knows I demand nothing less than abject adoration. Is that something you can offer me Felix?"

Felix ran his eyes up and down her body appreciatively. "I think so. You would make it very easy I'm sure."

"He hardly chose Bella over you Rose," I reasoned urgently. "He just asked that you consider things from her point of view."

"I'm considering ripping her limb from limb. If she wasn't so well protected by the Volturi she'd be a pile of pieces at my feet by now," she said vindictively.

The lust on Felix's face slowly gave way to contemplation. "Do you really think you could take her in a one on one fight Rosalie?" he asked curiously.

Rose thought a moment. "I'm not sure of her gift…" she began.

"Her gift is irrelevant to you," Felix cut in. "It's entirely mental. If you don't have a gift then there is nothing for her to use against you. She is a competent fighter however, Volturi trained."

"Oh please! Pampered and protected, that's what she is. I am a fantastic fighter. Jasper and Emmett have trained me well." Rose boasted.

This was true. Jasper was incredibly overprotective of our family. He'd seen too many covens become complacent in their strength only to be overrun by him and Maria's newborn army. He drilled us regularly in combat and made every effort to ensure that we were all very proficient fighters. He wanted our family strong, mainly to ensure Alice's safety. Esme and Carlisle were the weakest fighters, their hearts were simply not in it, but they were still very capable and could hold their own. I was sure that in a real battle with high stakes, they would do whatever it took to protect our family. Alice and I were formidable because of the advantages our gifts gave us. Jasper had experience on his side and Emmett had raw power. Rosalie was brutal. Her fighting style was malicious and cruel. She had actually managed to rip Emmett's arm off once and had beaten us all at one time or another, willing to be more underhanded and spiteful than we would ever be. She hated to lose and Bella would not know what had hit her.

Felix regarded her speculatively. "If you had the opportunity, you'd fight her?" he asked and she nodded earnestly, "and you think you'd have a chance of winning?" Rosalie smirked in conformation.

"ISABELLA!" Felix hollered suddenly, startling both me and Rose.

After a few seconds Bella came through a door at the far end of the corridor. She was frowning, but that did nothing to detract from her beauty. Every time I saw her she took my breath away, luckily I didn't need oxygen to survive.

"You know I hate it when you summon me like that Felix," Bella muttered, "this better be good." Her scowl deepened when she saw Felix was with me and Rose.

"Rose wants to challenge you," Felix told her, his eyes sparkling maliciously.

"I'm sure that's not true," Bella responded coldly. "You always assume too much. You shouldn't railroad people like that."

"Actually Bella, I can't wait to take you down," Rose said spitefully.

"Rosalie?" Bella was shocked and hurt and for a second her face was an open book to me once again. She quickly got a hold of herself and rearranged her features into a more neutral expression. "You can't be serious."

"Are you not going to accept Bella?" Felix asked smugly. "I think for you, I would personally embroider your face on the Coward's Cloak. I'd love to see it on you. I'd imagine the pastel colours would be very becoming." He was rubbing his hands together in glee.

Bella's face hardened. "Of course I'll accept Felix," she snapped. Felix looked triumphant.

I couldn't allow this to happen. I grabbed Rose's arm, "Stop this now Rose" I hissed, but she shook me off.

"Stay out of this Edward. Mind your own business for once," Rose commanded me, scathingly.

"This is my business," I urged. Seeing as I couldn't dissuade Rose, I turned to Bella. I took her hand hoping to pull her away from this situation. The instant our skin came into contact I felt the familiar crackling of electricity, as intense as ever, more so even. Our eyes met, wide with surprise and brimming with emotion at the unexpected reminder of what we had had and had lost. Felix broke us apart.

"Actually, it's none of your business," he told me aggressively, forcing his way between us, glaring at me and knocking Bella back a few steps.

"The consequences will be worse if we don't go through with it Edward," Bella said to me over Felix's shoulder, "Don't worry, It'll be fine." I wasn't reassured but knew there was nothing I could do if all three of them were determined.

"One of the Cullen's has challenged Isabella," Felix bellowed loudly. "Challenge Chamber, five minutes." His shouted statement echoed through the castle. He modulated his tone to address only us once again. "I really hope you're not all talk Rosalie," he told her fairly kindly. "I can't wait to see you in action."

"Don't worry, Felix," Rose was practically purring. "I will put on an impressive show just for you."

"Follow me then Sweetheart," he instructed, taking Rosalie's hand chivalrously and leading her in a direction I had yet to explore. Bella was watching their exchange incredulously and shook her head in disbelief as she followed them, with me in her wake.

Felix led us speedily to the perimeter of the castle furthest from the city. He lifted a heavy manhole cover and then stepped to one side. "Ladies first," he gestured for Rose to precede him but followed quickly behind her so the Bella could not. Bella seemed unaffected by this deliberate snub and simply rolled her eyes at his antics. She stepped gracefully into the hole, disappearing into the blackness for a second and I followed swiftly after her.

In my haste to keep up, I had not calculated the depth of the room I was jumping into. It was much deeper than it should have been. Despite the unexpected distance of the drop, I landed lightly on dirt floor. It took me several seconds to process the sight surrounding me, it was totally astonishing. We were in a massive underground cavern, several stories deep. It was shaped like a bowl, widening as it went up. Towards the ceiling there were stone tiers that were apparently some sort of spectator gallery. It was reminiscent of a Roman Amphitheatre although obviously undercover rather than open air. This was a venue for clash of the vampires, rather than of the gladiators.

The chamber was lit by numerous narrow slits in the roof that sent shafts of moonlight slicing through the darkness. Several strategically placed mirrors redistributed the source light, casting a dim background light that perfused the room, yet leaving many areas in shadowy blackness. To human eyes the effect would have been absolutely terrifying, but to vampire night vision it was eerily beautiful. The general ambiance was medieval but there were signs of the current year. I could see evidence of state of the art surveillance cameras and also several large flat screens were positioned high up on the walls.

The next vampires through the access hole were my family, led by Alec. I saw in their minds that they had heard Felix's proclamation and rushed to investigate, almost immediately coming across Alec who showed them the way. They hurried over to us.

"What's going on?" Alice asked urgently. She had not yet come to terms with her lack of foresight and absolutely hated being out of the loop.

"Rose challenged Bella to a fight," I informed them. The shocked five faces of the rest of my family swung in disbelief towards Rose. She returned their stares arrogantly and unrepentantly.

"Why, Rose?" asked Emmett pleadingly.

"I should've known better than to expect any support from my husband," Rosalie sneered.

"But I can't bear to see my wife kill my little sister," Emmett said desperately.

"Don't panic, Em," It was Bella that reassured him. "It won't be a fight to death. It's just a wrestling match. Don't you guys do that sort of thing all the time?"

"Bella, she is planning to rip you to pieces," I told her.

"Rosalie!" Carlisle and Esme admonished in unison.

"Well, she can try." Bella mumbled wryly, a small smile evidence of her nonchalance.

"I don't think you understand how much reattaching limbs can hurt," I tried to get her to take the situation more seriously.

"I am very well aware of that, thank you Edward," Bella stated, casting a sideways glance at Felix who grinned at her in response.

"Always a pleasure to educate," he mocked her. A growl escaped my lips. I wanted retribution for any damage he'd ever inflicted on her. "I'd be happy to educate you as well Edward" he turned his attention to me and I knew that without the advantage of my gift I wouldn't stand a chance against him. I wondered whether Bella would stop shielding him if I was to fight him for her, but I was too afraid of her answer to ask. I couldn't bear any more rejection from her.

Other Volturi vampires had joined us and there was quite a gathering in the chamber now. They had been trickling in as we talked. I recognised that most of the Eminent Guard were present, as well as Jane. Notable by their absence was the Volturi family. None of the brothers or their wives were there. Neither was Fred, Demetri or Renesmee. Bella was the only representative of the Volturi elite and I worried even more for her safety without the others to protect her, although I was relieved Renesmee would not see this.

"Alright," said Felix loudly, bringing everyone to order. "As we have newcomers, I'll run over the rules. There's only one: No naked flames. Anything else goes. The winner will be the one who beheads the other, or secures them in a death hold, with teeth to neck for at least two seconds. If anyone tries to intervene…" he looked pointedly at Emmett and I, "Jane will stop them." He clapped his hands together. "To the fun part…place your bets now. Would anyone like to put their money on Rosalie Cullen."

"Rosalie Hale," Rose corrected automatically, and Felix smiled at her. Silence echoed. Rose glared at Emmett, screaming in her mind that she expected him to show his support by betting on her. He folded his arms, leaned back and remained stubbornly silent.

"No one?" Felix prompted, obviously disappointed. "Okay, times then."

The Volturi vampires started calling out times. "Fifteen minutes." "Eight minutes." "Twenty six." "Forty minutes." "Eighteen."

"Thirty seconds," all eyes darted incredulously to Fred, who had just dropped through the hole.

"You've got to be kidding me." Felix said dubiously.

"You don't want my stake Felix?" Fred asked.

"No, I'll happily take your money," Felix told Fred.

"How does the betting work?" Alice was grimly curious.

"Standard stake money depending on rank, closest time is the winner, winner takes all," Bella informed us.

"So if no one has bet on me, will I get all the winnings when I tear her to shreds?" Rosalie asked bitterly.

"Absolutely, Rosie. That sounds fair enough," Felix agreed eagerly. "Any more bets? Okay then spectators to the stands," he ordered.

We followed the other vampires as they scaled the walls to the tiers. My family watched apprehensively. Although we hadn't placed any money, we were all sure Rosalie would win. Her vicious fighting tactics would surely overwhelm Bella's naturally sweet and docile nature. Rose and Bella stood at opposite walls, regarding each other appraisingly. One of the flat screens sprung to life, displaying a large digital stop clock.

"Ready?" Felix asked. The girls both nodded tersely. "Then, as per the Code Duello, begin when the handkerchief hits the floor." He released a small square of red material that was attached to a gold weight. It swished through the air and hit the ground with a gentle thud.

Rosalie launched herself at Bella, her expression murderous and determined.

Bella met Rosalie's attack head on, she used Rosalie's momentum against her, added her own force and flung her against the wall. The crash shook the whole chamber, and us along with it. Rosalie's shock quickly morphed into fury. She flew at Bella again, Bella gracefully leapt over her, avoiding her easily.

As Rosalie's attacks become more frenzied, Bella became more lithe and calm. She defended against Rose easily, getting a few hits in herself with her fist and elbow. Rosalie was crazed as she attacked Bella a sixth time, intent on ripping off her head. Bella spiralled out of her way, grabbing her wrist as she turned and torsioning Rosalie's hand, twisting her and causing her to land face first in the dirt, scraping her face a metre along the ground. Rose struggled to dislodge Bella from her back where Bella had secured herself, using her own body weight to pin Rose to the ground. As Rose reached behind her, Bella caught Rose's other wrist, trapping both of Rosalie's wrists in the tight hold of one of her hands. Bella used her free hand to yank Rose's face from the floor by her forehead, forcing Rose to arch her torso and back. Once Bella had a secure grip of both Rosalie's hands and head, she tilted Rosalie's head to the left forcefully and sunk her teeth into Rose's neck without breaking the skin. Bella's eyes searched and met Felix's and she waited, almost oblivious to Rosalie's struggling as she held her position. It took almost three seconds before Felix conceded Bella's victory. The clock stopped, reading twenty nine seconds. Bella shoved away from Rosalie as if Rose was disgusting her.

Bella made the mistake of turning her back on Rosalie. Rose did not care that the official fight was over, she just wanted to hurt Bella. Rose launched herself at Bella's unprotected back. I knew Rose couldn't cause Bella any permanent damage, but it was still difficult to watch. Rosalie was so close to Bella that she had no time to turn. However, without even flinching, she elbowed Rose in the stomach, winding her. In the same fluid movement she slammed her clenched fist on the same arm into Rosalie's face. There was a loud crunch as Roalise's nose broke in several places.

Bella swung to face Rose who was now on her knees, clutching at her face.

"Never underestimate me Rose," Bella warned in a low voice. "Next time you try and attack me from behind without provocation, I will rip off your head." Rose's eyes rounded in fear and humiliation. She turned and fled, escaping from the room clumsily using only one hand to scramble the wall. Her exit definitely lacked her usual poise. I was surprised that even Emmet felt no sympathy for her and had no intention of chasing after her.

The watching vampires dropped back into the arena. All except Felix and Jane seemed happy with the outcome of the fight.

"How did you get that time so close Fred?" one asked in awe. "You were almost spot one. Less than thirty seconds. Amazing!"

"I see into her soul, as she sees into mine," Fred said intensely, pulling Bella into his arms and staring into her eyes.

"Sappy!" Bella announced, wriggling from his grip and pushing him away playfully.

"Besides," he continued, repositioning himself alongside her. "I trained her."

Felix snorted, "Like your combat skills are so amazing. You've never been in a fair fight." Felix was clearly disgruntled that Bella had beaten Rose so easily.

Fred regarded him disdainfully and Felix bristled.

"If you didn't have your gift, I could take your women and do whatever I wanted with them and there would be nothing you could do to stop me." Felix taunted. Fred was growling menacingly but Felix just laughed. "Don't worry, your wife's the only one worth having. What would I want with a filthy tainted half human?" His tone was derisive.

"Today I've got nothing more important to do, this time I am challenging you," Fred said icily, pulling himself tall. His stature was impressive, even though he did not match Felix in height or width.

Felix looked annoyed and concerned. "Big deal," he said, he was trying to sound dismissive, but was not convincing. "There's no shame in being beaten by an invisible vampire. No one can defend against that."

"I don't need my gift. I can beat you without it." Fred stated confidently.

All Felix's hesitation evaporated. He grinned in eager anticipation. "Then let's do this!"

This time Jane stepped forward to be adjudicator. With Fred agreeing not to use his gift, everyone except Bella bet against him.

The fight was brutal. Within the first few minutes both Fred and Felix had sustained several bites. I knew from talking to Jasper just how painful another vampire's venom was. It was not immediately clear who had the advantage, until Fred ripped off one of Felix's arms. Felix howled in outrage and pain and fought back viciously but to no avail. Fred annihilated him, ripping him apart until he was nothing but a pile of pieces in the dirt.

Bella was the first one out of the stands. She danced over to Fred.

"Aro is not going to be happy," she told him brightly.

"What about you?" Fred asked.

"Definitely top twenty," Bella told him.

"Well then, as long as you are happy, I'll handle Aro." Fred kissed her forehead lightly. "I actually think once he sees what was said, he'll be chasing down Felix's body parts with a box of matches."

Most of the Volturi vampires were looking at the parts of Felix with a mixture of disdain and jubilation. It was clear none of them were upset to see Felix in pieces.

"It's going to take more than the venom in his mouth to stick him back together again," one said wryly.

"Ouch" another replied, unsympathetically smirking. Having body parts reattached with someone else's venom was reputedly much more painful than if done with your own.

"Clean this up," Jane barked at the milling vampires. "And treat him with respect. Once he's back together, you wouldn't want to be the next person to upset him."

A large wooden bucket was lowered on a rope through the entrance access hole in the ceiling. Eminent Guard members started unceremoniously tossing parts of Felix into the bucket. Once full, it was hoisted back up and all of the Eminent Guard followed it out, spring-boarding off the walls and vaulting themselves out of the chamber.

This left only my family, Jane, Alec, Fred and Bella.

"That was very impressive," Alec told Fred with a friendly smile, "but if you knew you could do that then why haven't you done it before?"

"Because Felix's main use to me is the fear he generates with his undefeated record," Aro dropped lightly to the floor. His agility and grace were surprising to see. "I encouraged you not to fight him without your gift Alfred," he rebuked Fred. "What happened?"

Fred held out his hand to Aro who seized it. He obviously didn't like what he was seeing but his anger wasn't aimed at Fred. "The matches are incredibly tempting," he mused to himself before redirecting his attention to Fred. "Well, I couldn't have expected you to let that slide Fred, indeed I would have thought less of you if you had."

"You knew Fred was capable of beating Felix?" Jane asked in disbelief.

"You doubt me Jane?" Aro asked sadly. "It troubles me, your lack of trust. I would never have admitted Fred to the Elite Guard based on just his gift. I have explained this to you before."

"But how?" Alec was still curious. "Felix's fighting skills are so much superior to everyone else's and you have never really trained with any of us Fred. The only person dense enough to challenge you was Felix, your gift being as it is. No one can be expected to beat an invisible opponent. When have you ever practised without it?"

"As a newborn, my gift was much less potent and I had very little control of it." Fred explained. "It started out as me being able to project an aversion to me. It was fairly weak and it was very easy for the determined to overcome."

"The determined?" Alec was puzzled. "Did you get in many fights as a newborn?"

"Alfred was changed by Benito himself," Aro announced. It was clear Fred was uncomfortable with this revelation and from the look in Aro's eyes, I thought this might be his way of punishing Fred's disobedience. "He was a member of the original Newborn Army."

"Impossible," Jane spat. "We killed every newborn and also every vampire associated with them in that culling. We left no one unburned."

Aro looked annoyed that Jane was opening questioning him again. Fred simply smirked at Jane and vanished, startling us all.

"No matter how many times you see that, it's shocking every time" Alec muttered.

"You missed one!" Fred's disembodied voice announced a second before he reappeared.

"But you said you had no control then!" Jane was very unhappy with the half explanations and hints and I shared some of her impatience. I wanted to know the whole story. I wanted to understand Fred and his hold on Bella.

"I had been fighting for several years before you arrived, Jane," Fred explained. "Benito intended me only as a meal at first but I vanished while he was feeding. He recognised my potential gift and the advantage it would offer him in battle, so I was changed not drained. But after that first time, I couldn't do it again. Ben was so frustrated with me. He would set groups of newborns on me constantly trying to force me to replicate it. There wasn't a day that went past that I didn't have to fight someone. Either my so called comrades or the other vampires Ben pitted us against. Ben had ordered his army never to destroy me but to do anything else in their power to force my defensive gift to emerge. They were very enthusiastic. I learnt to fight very, very quickly. But it wasn't enough to trigger my invisibility. Actually, I'm glad I've finally got a chance to thank you Jane." Jane looked shocked and clearly had no idea what he was talking about. "It seems that watching the Volturi systematically destroy Ben and his army with ease was the incentive I needed to fully tap into my gift. I didn't reappear for weeks after seeing you in action Jane."

"You really must learn to trust my judgement Jane." Aro said impatiently. "You've had ample time to get used to the changes in the Guard and frankly your attitude is wearing a little thin. I have read your mind and understand your view point. I find your inability to see Alfred and Isabella's many qualities baffling." His eyes narrowed and he turned his glare on us. "Although it is certainly more forgivable than knowing how wonderful Isabella is and yet still walking away and abandoning her."

"Wonderful?" Jane sneered sarcastically under her breath.

Aro's patience ran out. His eyes flashed dangerously. "Enough Jane," he commanded. "I think it's time my brothers and I give yours and Felix's position in the guard some serious consideration."

"No Aro." Jane suddenly sounded like a frightened little girl and looked the closer to the age she was changed, rather than the ancient bitter harpy that she was. "Of course I have no issues with Fred or Bella. I belong here, with you. You created me to serve you. Where else could I go?"

"We will discuss the situation with you both formally once Felix is reassembled," Aro said coldly, without sympathy. He sprang from the room with Jane following close behind, pleading with him.

Jasper had been regarding Fred speculatively.

"You're the ghost?" he asked Fred reverently, Fred responded with a grim nod. "Most of us thought you were a myth, a story to scare us and keep us in line." Jasper continued in awe.

"Those were dark times Jasper" Fred told him solemnly.

xxx

**AN: Thanks for reading. I'm really nervous about your reactions to this chapter but I'd still love to hear what you thought of it. **

**Poor Emmett, I really think he deserves so much better than the Rosalie in my story. What do you think he should do?**

**I'd also love it if you follow me on Twitter, my username is (at)KayMarieXW**

**Nathan is coming home in the next chapter and I can't wait for you to meet him.**


	13. 12: When you'd scream

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: I'm so very nervous about this next chapter. **

**Thank you to everyone who is reading this story and favouriting and alerting. When I first posted this story I didn't expect anyone to read it and I'm really honoured that so many people are. I knew this chapter was coming; it is what this story is really about. I really hope you like it, but let me know either way, I think I can take it. **

**A very special thank you to Sir NickolasJhonstonMarcus III, whose detailed reviews are inspiring, containing both feedback and suggestions which I find really helpful. Thank you as well to madnessdownunder2 whose support is very much appreciated. Also to staind782003 and oxymoron8 who have stuck with me and continue to review.**

**Thank you so much to TheaJ1 for giving me such amazing support with this chapter and for getting back to me so quickly so that I could post tonight. You should check out her stories, my favourite is Lifelines. As always OrAreWeDancers checks my spelling and grammar but I have made changes since then, so mistakes are mine.**

**xxx**

**12: When you'd scream**

The remainder of my family were despondent as we re-entered the guest turret. Rosalie had not returned after her undignified exit from the Challenge Chamber and Emmett had also left on his own. He was not going to look for Rosalie, but he had wanted some time and space away from the family to think. So Esme, Carlisle, me, Jasper and Alice had made our way slowly back to our temporary 'home'.

We all gathered in one of the communal areas, but remained silent. In this moment, we were happier in each other's company but none of us were in the mood to talk. We were all reflecting on the events of the last few hours and days and on the mistakes we had all made over the years that led us here. Of course my mistakes were the most monumental and unforgivable, because of them our whole family was fractured and unstable. None of us had any idea of what the future held.

When Carlisle's thoughts wandered to Fred and Bella, I decided it was time for me to leave so that I could escape the painful images he was projecting, but when he broke the silence, I hesitated, waiting to see what he was going to say.

"What did you mean when you asked Fred if he was The Ghost?" he asked Jasper. I changed my mind about leaving, instead deciding to stay and listen, because I was desperate to know the answer to this myself. Jasper sighed heavily.

"I still can't believe it's him," he said, shaking his head. "I can't believe he's actually real and that I was standing only metres from him. I could've reached out and touched him!"

"Tell us what you mean Jazz," Alice implored, as anxious as Carlisle and I were to be privy to the details locked in Jasper's mind.

"When I was in Maria's army, there was a myth. A legend, that we all accepted but had trouble believing," Jasper began. We could tell he was struggling to convey this story, he had rarely talked of his time with Maria and never in any depth and he was finding it difficult to find the words. Impatient as I was to know the story, I was still glad I couldn't see what he was remembering. I had seen flashes of images from his army days before and all of them had been incredibly disturbing.

"There was a rumour about a vampire that had the power to destroy entire armies in the blink of an eye. Some said he was the ghost of a vampire killed in the original war but not many admitted to believing that." Jasper continued gravely. "No one had ever seen him, but there was abundant evidence of his power. Whole armies had been destroyed without a single member of the much smaller coven they'd attacked being harmed in any way. The members of the surviving coven would boast that they were protected by The Ghost and that any other army that attacked them would meet the same fate.

Sometimes one or two newborns from the attacking army would be left alive and their versions of the events caused the rumours to spread far and wide, and to be believed. They claimed to witness the spontaneous destruction of their comrades by an invisible force. Actually their descriptions were very similar to the scene we witnessed in the valley when Bella and the others destroyed Maria's army. I can't believe I didn't make the connection then, but the one thing no one ever suspected was the Volturi."

"Why?" asked Esme, drawn into the tale by Jasper's tone and intensity.

"Because it wasn't the Volturi's style, they operated very differently. They didn't do anything covertly, they did it majestically. If they had been responsible, everyone would have known it was them. Anyway, why would they destroy some armies and not others?" Jasper wondered. "The last time they had come, they had destroyed everyone involved with newborns and made sure it was widely known that they did it."

"So you think it was Fred acting alone?" Carlisle asked.

"It must have been," Jasper was convinced, "he just confirmed it."

"But why? And how did he choose which covens to protect or which army to destroy?" I demanded.

"I have no idea," Jasper responded, exasperated. "It's a mystery and I'd really like the chance to talk to him about it."

"He didn't seem that willing to talk about it thought Jasper," Alice was worried, "I'm not sure it's a good idea to upset him." Alice was thinking about Fred's obvious skill and temper. She'd never had cause to be concerned about Jasper fighting a lone vampire before and it made her very uneasy.

"I have to know Alice," Jasper told her fervently. "You have no idea how those rumours added to the stress and fear, to the torrents of emotions I had to endure for all those years. Every time we went into battle, we all worried whether those we planned to fight were protected by The Ghost. He spiked fear in the hearts of even the bravest vampires and the mystery surrounding him infuriated us all. I can't pass on the opportunity to actually hear his side of the story."

Alice knew Jasper well enough to know there was no hope of changing his mind when he was so determined. Instead, she decided to change the subject.

"I can't believe the way Rosalie is acting," she said, shaking her head. As well as a diversionary tactic, this subject was something we were all concerned about.

"I know," Esme fretted. "Rose has always been somewhat…temperamental, but I always believed she had a good heart, even if it were buried sometimes. Her current attitude to Bella and especially to Emmett is unthinkable. I don't want to believe it. The stress is obviously getting to her and I feel like I've failed her because I can't help." Esme was wringing her hands and biting her lip, very distressed that her 'children' were hurting and especially that they were hurting each other. Carlisle moved to comfort her. Both Alice and I noticed that Jasper's demeanour had changed. He looked guilty.

"Spill it Jazz," Alice called him out on it. "What do you know that we don't?" she demanded. Jasper would never deny Alice, but looked as though he wished he could.

"I manipulate Rosalie's emotions," he said in a rush.

"What? When?" Carlisle asked sternly. He had always made it clear that he expected Alice, Jasper and me to exercise careful control when it came to our gifts and to avoid using them against the family for our own gain.

"Always," Jasper said, his head hanging slightly to avoid our incredulous stares. "When Alice and I first arrived to the family, Rosalie was toxic to me," he explained, looking up at us and imploring us to understand. "She constantly emitted anger, hatred, bitterness, resentment. It was self-defensive of me to reduce those emotions in her."

"I never heard you thinking about doing that," I told him. I had been very wary of Jasper when he first arrived to my family and had stalked his mind to ensure there was no malice in him and that he would not hurt anyone I loved.

"I didn't think about it, I did it instinctively." Jasper explained, "You must have noticed the difference in her after I arrived," he speculated.

"I just thought she was finally calming down after a prolonged newborn phase," Carlisle told him and we all nodded our agreement, none of us had suspected Jasper's interference, but then we hadn't understood his gift at that point. "Truth be told, I was relieved more than anything that she was finally calming down." We all agreed wholeheartedly with that sentiment as well.

"Well that was not the case," Jasper informed us, "her 'prolonged newborn phase' was just her natural personality," he grimaced in memory.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I was dubious that Jasper could have been doing that all this time and that we had all been oblivious.

"Well, at first I didn't trust any of you. I only came to the family because of my love for Alice. I would have done anything for her, but I was suspicious of everyone else. By the time I began to think of you all as family it seemed unnecessary to bring it up. It would only have caused heartache and pain and you know I will do anything I can to avoid those emotions. Everyone was content, we lived in harmony. I saw it as a fringe benefit of my gift, that was all."

"But what about when you weren't with her?" Carlisle probed him.

"When she and Emmett were alone, they were always sufficiently preoccupied," Jasper told us in a tone that implied it should have been obvious. "They never discussed their feelings or thoughts, they were too busy with other things. They never needed any encouragement from me when it came to physical attraction."

Carlisle, Esme, Alice and I were at a complete loss. We individually contemplated the ramifications of Jasper's revelation. The Rosalie we knew and cared about, was not the real Rosalie at all.

"How did she not notice?" Carlisle was mystified. Rose had always been so quick to accuse Jasper of messing with her emotions.

"The effect was subtle. You all notice when I completely reverse your emotions; if you're angry and I take that anger away, of course you'd realise. But if I modify and tweak, if I slightly intensify positive emotions and dull the negative ones, that is much harder to detect. I'm very well practised you know," he was slightly indignant that we underestimated his control, "besides it's not like I turned her into Minnie Mouse or anything," he added sarcastically.

"Do you do it to all of us?" Esme asked quietly. We all froze. Could Jasper have abused our trust that way?

"No, Esme. Please don't think that," Jasper reassured her, his honesty evident. "It was only Rose. Without my interference her aura was permanently black, I had to modify it for my sanity. I have never felt that way about any of you." He hesitated before adding, "Except Edward, after he left Bella. And he was beyond my help then."

"Now Bella is shielding you Jasper, Rosalie's true personality is coming through?" I summarised and Jasper nodded.

"Well we can't let it go on," Esme said anxiously. "She is hurting Bella and Emmett and it's affecting our entire family."

"We could ask Bella to lift her shield from Jasper and he could go back to doing his thing," Alice suggested. Jasper grimaced. I guessed he was enjoying the reprieve from his empathy.

"I can't condone continuing to manipulate Rose and her relationship with Emmett that way," Carlisle said disapprovingly.

"Then what do you propose Carlisle?" Alice asked.

"I think we should get Rosalie and Emmett together and explain the situation to them and see what their thoughts are." Carlisle put forward. With wide eyes, Alice and I silently questioned his sanity.

"It could work," Esme supported him and Alice and I turned to her incredulously, "but I think we would need the full support of Edward's and Jasper's gift to stop things becoming explosive."

"I think you might be overestimating mine and Jasper's ability to diffuse the situation," I told her kindly. I could only imagine the ferocity of Rose's reaction when she heard how Jasper had manipulated her. I was sure that Emmett would feel much betrayed as well.

"I don't think so," Esme said patiently. "Jasper said he was only modifying her emotions, so there is goodness in her and she must love Emmett. She deserves to be given the chance to change and salvage their relationship." She turned to me. "Both you and Carlisle know the loneliness immortality holds without a mate to share the burden. Would you wish that on your brother? Emmett is a good man, he deserves to be happy and he is happy with Rose."

xxx

Alice, Jasper and I were looking for Bella. We were going to ask her to lift her shield from Jasper and then we would try and mediate between Emmett and Rose. We had spent most of the day waiting to see if Rose or Emmett would come back on their own so we could get an indication of how they were feeling, but when they didn't return we decided that letting things fester even longer would probably not help the situation. We didn't want to appear to be ganging up on them, so Carlisle and Esme had stayed behind. Jasper and me were necessary because of our gifts and Alice didn't want to be left out so had insisted that a woman's perspective was also needed. I thought Esme would've been a better choice but Alice was adamant it should be her. No one had the energy to argue with Alice.

We came across Alec, who told us Bella was in the courtyard waiting for sunset so she didn't have to exit the city through the sewers. We would have to hurry if we wanted to catch her before she left.

As we entered the courtyard Bella was basking in the dwindling sunlight. Her face was turned upwards towards the sinking sun, smiling slightly, her skin sparkling like diamonds. She was stunning, magnificent. I had never seen a more beautiful sight. I stopped abruptly, mesmerised and Alice and Jasper had to fan out to either side of me to avoid crashing into my back.

Before we had the chance to speak, the sound of laughter drew all of our attention to the side gate. A tall, well-built man with short dark hair came through, with a tiny boy on his broad shoulders. The boy looked to be about three years old and his tinkling laughter was infectious. The boy had brown eyes and the man's were blue. Their eyes and their heartbeats identified them as human. My heart sank as they registered Bella sparkling in the sunshine; I knew their lives would be forfeit because they had seen too much. Our secret was exposed to them and they would be forced to pay the ultimate price.

Bella looked over to them as they closed the gate behind them, but instead of any negative emotion, she beamed at the sight of them. The little boy sprang gracefully from the big man's shoulders and sprinted towards her.

"Look who's home, Mummy," he called excitedly, launching himself into Bella's open arms. But as she scooped him up, his expression changed abruptly. He suddenly looked petrified.

Unexpectedly I felt a blast of intense jealousy and hatred burn through me. It didn't originate from me, so I wheeled round towards Jasper. He looked confused but otherwise unaffected. I could hear that Alice's mind was paralysed by external jealously as well. My eyes searched for the source. The older human's eyes were narrowed, looking around as well. The little boy had buried his face in Bella's hair and was whimpering. Bella was stroking his hair, shushing him reassuringly even though she looked concerned herself. I continued to search until my eyes met Rosalie's. She must have only just arrived. I recoiled from her fierce expression, which was intensifying even though the foreign jealousy had abruptly stopped.

"Well, we should have known," Rosalie spat spitefully. "Little innocent Bella is really a dirty slut." Even as she said it, she knew this little boy couldn't possibly be biologically Bella's. Apart from the fact that female vampire's couldn't conceive, he looked nothing like Bella; his skin colour, bone structure, hair and even his eyes, although brown like hers used to be, were completely different. But Rose's jealousy was making her irrational and her bitterness was overwhelming.

The human giant moved with a speed and grace that proved he was anything but human. He threw Rose against the wall and kept her pinned there with one massive hand on her shoulder and the other round her neck. I could hear in Rosalie's mind that she was struggling against his hold with everything she had, but somehow she was completely immobilised.

"If you want to survive the next few moments, you will take that back and promise never to speak to my mother that way again," he growled at her.

Rosalie panicked, not understanding why she was unable to move or fight back. "Help me, Emmett," she gurgled pleadingly. Emmett had just entered the courtyard from the opposite side; he processed the scene before him and sprang to Rosalie's aid without hesitation. He didn't get very far. He flew backwards through the air and was suspended fifteen feet above the ground, against the stone turret wall. One look into his mind and I knew he was immobilised the same way Rosalie was, inexplicably unable to move at all. Rose's eyes widened in fear. She had never tried to modify her behaviour to others before, relying on the combined strength of her family and especially Emmett to protect her. She was scared but was hiding it well, trying to mask it with fury and indignation.

"You're not allowed to hurt me," she bluffed, "Aro has ordered that we remain unharmed until they reach a verdict." This was a very liberal interpretation of Aro's instructions. She was clutching at straws and she knew it.

"Unfortunately for you, I don't answer to the Volturi," he informed her scathingly. "Do I, Grandad?" he asked in a lighter tone. Aro had just arrived through the same door as Emmett had. He surveyed the scene deliberately, before responding in a careful voice.

"That's true, Nathan," he said patiently, "but I have yet to see you defy your mother." Nathan looked quizzically at Aro, but made no move to release Rosalie or Emmett. Aro continued, exasperated, "Since the day I sent the Eminent Guard to investigate rumours of an immortal child and they found you alone in the forest, a vulnerable little boy that somehow destroyed two vampires and escaped before they knew what had hit them, you have confounded me. I had to send my precious Isabella to retrieve you and she was still so young herself, I hated to risk her like that. Then, from the moment she brought you into my castle, you have not obeyed one command or instruction I have ever given you, but you have always listened to her. The only reason any of the Cullens are still alive is because she wishes it."

Nathan looked to Bella. She was concentrating on distracting the little boy from the situation that was unfolding behind him. She shot a glance at Nathan with a raised eyebrow and a mock frown. It was an expression that would be recognised by mothers and children across the world. The universal '_What do you think?' _I had been on the receiving end of those looks from Esme more than once.

Nathan sighed and released Rosalie. Both her and Emmett unceremoniously slid to the floor in unison, although as Emmett had been so high up, he landed with a loud crash in a heap on the floor. Rosalie scowled at him, resenting that he'd not been able to spare her further humiliation. She stormed away and no one tried to stop her. Emmett stood up slowly and dusted himself down deliberately. He remained where he was, curious and hoping for answers.

"Welcome home Nathan," Aro said with a smile and no hint of sarcasm.

The outside gate burst open and Renesmee rushed through. I had not seen my daughter since our first meeting in the throne room. Her expression now was a complete contrast to then. She was glowing with excitement.

"Nathan!" she cried happily, throwing her arms around his neck. He returned her hug unreservedly, with a beaming grin.

"Hey, little sister," he greeted her enthusiastically.

"Excuse me!" Renesmee said with mock indignation, "you have yet to prove that you're older than me."

"Age is irrelevant," he informed her, "but size matters and you're still tiny."

"Only compared to you, you giant oaf," she muttered, "for a little while there I thought I'd missed you!"

"What's going on Nessie?" he asked her, suddenly serious. The castle has not been emptied of hostile vampires. I thought they'd all be out by now in preparation for Dan's party."

"Things are a little complicated," she told him, her voice brimming with emotion.

Nathan cocked his head and regarded her with concern, "Show me?" he asked gently.

She put her right hand on his cheek and he did the same to her. His eyes widened gradually and his mouth gently dropped open in disbelief. Without breaking contact from Renesmee, he pivoted slowly to face me. He met my eyes and his mouth closed with a snap. He gritted his teeth.

Suddenly I felt an enormous pressure pushing in on me. I couldn't move. It was like I was being crushed by an invisible vice. I felt and heard micro fractures snaking their way across my skin, widening into deeper cracks. I could hear Alice screaming my name but she sounded very far away. I knew that my despite the granite strength of my immortal body, it could not withstand this pressure for much longer. My eyes sought out Bella's, they were panicked and she looked paralysed by fear and indecision. My dying thought was that, although I had seen glimpses, this was the first time I had seen vampire Bella's strong and confident projection totally shattered, like I was about to be. And that I loved her, every part of her, including our daughter, no matter their mood or attitude and no matter how they felt about me. I could feel my consciousness slipping away for the first time in over a century. The physical pain of it was eclipsed by the emotional pain that Bella and Renesmee had not forgiven me and I would now never have a chance to earn back their love.

"Nathan," a new voice commanded suddenly, ringing with authority and instantly the pressure swept away. I was barely able to stay on my feet and did actually stumble, but Alice and Jasper caught me, supporting me firmly but gently at either side. As soon as the pressure was gone, the cracks in my abused body began to smooth, slowly and excruciatingly. I clenched my jaw against the pain and concentrated on not crying out.

"You're telling me you think he doesn't deserve to be crushed to tiny pieces Dad?" Nathan asked disbelievingly. Amazed, I realised that Fred had been my saviour. But despite the fact that his intervention had saved my life, I was incapable of mustering any gratitude towards him.

"The situation is complex Nathan, as you'd know if you turned your phone on when you were travelling," Fred sounded frustrated.

"I lost my charger," Nathan responded defensively.

"It made your mother stressed, which makes me stressed," Fred said dryly. "I had hoped your chosen career path would've helped you to consider the consequences of your choices, especially to those you love and who love you."

"I knew that if you needed me Demetri and Dan could find me and bring me home," Nathan defended himself in a subdued tone.

Fred stared at him with his arms folded. It took several seconds for either to concede and it was Nathan who finally broke the loaded silence.

"Sorry Dad," he said sheepishly.

"Ok," Fred accepted his apology with a small smile, "Obviously our family has a lot to discuss. We've been waiting for you to get home Nathan. Now you're here we can talk properly. But let's do it in private, with everyone together. Daisy and Alfie are waiting for us at home. Let's not put this off any longer."

"Jaden go to Daddy for a second," Bella said gently, passing the little boy in her arms to Fred. She seemed to have recovered herself, and moved closer to Renesmee and Nathan with confidence and a determined expression.

"Nathan, I understand that you were upset by what Ness showed you, but if you ever link your gift with Renesmee's to bypass my shield like that again…" she trailed off ominously.

"I'm sorry Mum," Nathan apologised sincerely, "I promise I didn't do it on purpose." Bella regarded him sceptically.

"It's true Mum," Renesmee rushed to his defence, "we were both so caught up in the memories and distracted by how we felt about them, we didn't even realise we were still linked. We weren't thinking in the present at all, Nathan acted instinctively."

"Okay," Bella accepted, "but you need to work on controlling your temper Nathan, it is going to get you in serious trouble one day."

"Going to!" Aro snorted in quiet amusement, looking comically abashed when Bella glared at him momentarily.

Nathan looked truly repentant that he had upset Bella. His face was etched in sadness and he hung his head, "I'm so sorry Mum," he repeated, "but I was overwhelmed. We all had such high hopes for Renesmee's father, but it seems like we were all spawned from monsters after all." His sentiment shocked me, even though I knew it to be true. I was the definition of a monster.

Bella pulled Nathan into a tight embrace, "That's not true and you know it, if only because of Lucy," she whispered to him, "and there is much you don't understand about my situation as well." She gave him a kiss on the cheek before adding quietly "I missed you."

"I missed you too Mum," he replied genuinely.

"Now," Bella said seriously, still addressing Nathan. "Renesmee has some very difficult decisions to make and they will affect our whole family. We must offer her all the love and support she needs to make the best choices. We have been waiting for you Nathan, but it's time to resolve this. Fred is right though, here is definitely not the place. Let's go home."

Renesmee and Nathan were the first to leave, Nathan had his arm around Renesmee and was pulling her close, whispering urgently in her ear. I couldn't hear a word he said as they disappeared back through the side gate and into the dusk.

Fred swung Jaden onto his shoulders and the little boy giggled. He seemed oblivious to the drama that had transpired. He was obviously very comfortable with Fred and appeared to feel safe and secure.

Bella shot me a concerned look, "Definitely worse," she sighed to Fred, as they turned to leave as well.

"Or more interesting!" Fred retorted and they smiled ironically at each other, before following after Nathan and Renesmee.

Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I stared after them in stunned silence. Aro had also been watching their departure and turned towards us after they'd gone, ready to return into the castle. As he caught sight of our astounded expressions, he looked amused.

"It turns out that only a vampire with a potent mental shield can effectively parent gifted hybrids," he informed us, as if this explained everything. He saw that we were only more confused by his attitude and he smiled wider. "You are all so young," he told us. "As you get older you will realise that boredom is the bane of immortality and it's something I have not had to worry about since the moment Bella entered my castle. What a gift you squandered, you really have no idea!"

Aro registered my misery and looked mildly irritated. "Lighten up Edward," he told me sternly, "Nathan wouldn't have done you any permanent damage, Bella forbade him from ever bringing a lighter into this castle years ago. Granted it would have taken a long time for your family to piece you back together and healing would have been almost as painful as your transformation, but that is no more than you deserve!"

xxx

I was wandering the forest closest to Volterra. I had already hunted, but was not yet ready to face my family. No doubt Emmett, Jasper and Alice would have filled Carlisle and Esme in about Bella's children and I was dreading listening to their minds processing the implications.

Every time I thought my situation couldn't get any more hopeless I was proved wrong. Bella had a family that included young children. She hadn't just moved on, she'd completely reinvented herself and seemed different in every way. This did nothing to diminish my love for her, but completely snuffed out any hope I had of enticing her back into my life.

As for my daughter, she was currently listening to the advice of someone who clearly hated me with a passion. I wondered if she would ever talk to me again. My beautiful daughter, who I loved unconditionally and yet still knew nothing about.

_RENESMEE _my mind shrieked in despair, almost involuntarily. I was distracted by the thought that maybe she had heard me. How similar was her gift to mine? How close was she?

_RENESMEE _I mentally screamed again, this time more experimentally. But I heard nothing back.

So I was shocked when I registered footsteps stumbling through the forest, so lacking in stealth that for a moment I wondered if it was a human.

"Not all of us can live forever without sleep," a tired voice mumbled, "Some of us need rest to maintain immortality."

Renesmee was coming towards me. As she came closer, it looked as though she was actually sleepwalking. She was wearing grey cotton pyjamas with a collection of Pixar cartoon characters embroidered on them. She reminded me so much of Bella as a human. When Bella would wake prematurely, still tired and incoherent, she wore exactly the same look as Renesmee did now. I was stunned to stillness, in awe of the comparison. Renesmee's bleary eyes searched until they found me and then widened as if electrocuted, jolted fully awake. I was clearly not who she was expecting.

"Dad?" she asked in childlike confusion. My reaction to those words, spoken by her, to me, in that tone, was one of overwhelming love and the smallest slither of hope.

xxx

**AN: Finally, Edward and Renesmee get to talk. I'm really interested to know if any of you suspected Nathan was a hybrid and also how you think Renesmee will react to Edward this time.**

**So we are more than halfway through now and I am going to start tying things together. I have a fairly solid outline and I'm pretty sure how things will end but this is the last time that the future plot is not set in stone, so if you have any strong opinions about Bella and Edward or Fred, or about whether Rosalie and Emmett should stay together, this is your last chance to sway me so please do let me know!**

**I'd love if you follow me on Twitter: (at)KayMarieXW**


	14. 13: Supressed by all my childish fears

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: I'm so very sorry this update took so long, I was just very busy and I found this chapter incredibly difficult to write. I wish I could say it's worth the wait, but I'm not sure that it is. I promise I worked very hard on it though.**

**Thank you to everyone who is still reading. A very special thank you to my regular reviewers. Also to peterskitten, eli-dunbigboot and Louisvuittonfreak who reviewed every chapter as they read and I love them for it.**

**I adopted a banner from Evieeden for this story. I love it and there's a link to it on my profile page.**

**TheaJ1 and OrAreWeDancers beta'd this chapter, thank you both for your amazing support.**

**Because it's been so long, a quick recap of the last chapter: Jasper, Alice and Edward went looking for Bella to ask her to lower her shield around Jasper. They came across Bella and Fred's adopted sons Nathan and Jaden. Nathan almost shattered Edward. Fred stopped him. Later that night Edward was upset and alone outside Volterra and he accidently called out to Renesmee. She just arrived...**

**xxx**

**13: Supressed by all my childish fears**

Renesmee stared at me in confusion for a few more seconds, her eyes wide and innocent. Her emotions written all over her face, so much like Bella's as a human that the similarity stunned me again. We stood, staring at each other, both at a loss as to how to proceed. This was my chance to explain, an opportunity to finally be properly introduced to my daughter and I was wasting it being gormless. _Pull yourself together, _I berated myself, _do not screw this up. _ But still I could think of nothing to say. Where should I start? What was the right thing to keep her here and not send her running from me again? To my shame, I knew nothing about my daughter at all.

"I'm sorry I woke you," I began hesitantly, "I didn't realise you'd hear me. I didn't even know you slept…" I trailed off as I saw Renesmee's face hardening into the defensive mask that I recognised from our previous encounters.

"Well that's the kind of thing you would expect a father to know about his daughter," she snapped, turning to leave.

"Wait, please Renesmee," I called to her and she hesitated. "I'd really like to learn all the things I should already know."

"You're a little late _Dad,_" this time she twisted the word into an almost insult.

"I know, I know and I'm so ashamed and saddened that I wasn't there to watch you grow up," I told her sincerely, but I could still see the disbelief in her expression and it frustrated me. "You must know I'm telling you the truth. Can't you see it in my mind?" I was dismayed with myself that I had allowed a slither of impatience to slip into my tone and hoped I hadn't blown my chance. Renesmee regarded me carefully, her eyes slightly narrowed with hostility shining in them.

"I wouldn't know your mind, I've never looked," she informed me tartly.

I was shocked that she hadn't ever read my mind. I thought that when she had read Rosalie in the Throne Room, she must have read us all. All this time I assumed she had known my feelings for her and Bella, but had chosen to ignore them. I needed her to understand how I felt about them both. "Please look Renesmee," I pleaded. "Despite what you think of me, I am your father and I love you. It would mean so much to me if you let me show you that I'll always love you. If you can accept that, that's all I really need. I can leave you alone after that, if that's what you really want." I could see I had finally touched her and she was wavering. I held my breath, hoping she would at least give me a chance. To my horror, her shoulders sagged and she buried her face in her hands sinking to the floor.

"I'm too frightened of what I'll see," she whispered and even with my enhanced hearing, I barely heard her.

I moved slowly to kneel in front of her and gently tugged her hands from her face, staring into her familiar brown eyes, imploring her with mine.

"I promise you that if you look into my mind, all you will see is love and regret. I loved your mother and I honestly had no idea the enormity of the mistake I was making. I truly believed she would be better off without me or my family in her life. Please look and see," I poured as much intensity as I could into my plea, willing Renesmee to trust me. Just in case, I concentrated on my memories of Bella and my motives for leaving her, but my mind kept fleeting to my struggle to stay away from her and the past desolate twenty years.

"That's how Mum was," Renesmee whispered.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"When you left her, Mum couldn't function either. She withdrew from everything completely." Tears were now falling down her face. "I feel like I've betrayed her, she never meant for me to see those things. She spent my entire life trying to protect me from her memories and I just invaded her mind and her privacy and stole them. I can never take it back and I can never unsee them. My memory is photographic, just like yours. I really let her down and knowing what she lived through, because of me, is my punishment."

I sat alongside her, holding her in my arms and rocking her gently. I can't even begin to describe the feeling of overwhelming love and protectiveness that pulsed through me. I had never felt anything like it. Renesmee was so warm and her heartbeat was thrumming, she felt so alive and I felt like a missing part of me was back where it belonged.

"Bella clearly loves you very much, she doesn't have it in her to blame you for what you saw," I reassured her.

"I know that she doesn't and that just makes it worse. She is so understanding and I don't deserve it!" I waited patiently for her to continue, savouring the feel of her in my arms. "The day you arrived at the castle, Daisy called me, worried about Jaden and wanting to know why Mum and Dad were so flustered. I was confused and worried. It was so out of character for both of them and they had never not told be about a Council before. I was genuinely frightened about what was happening. Danny brought me home, I flew round the house to get ready and rushed to the castle. I was so anxious and impatient. I reached out to Mum's mind for reassurance that everything was okay. And I saw it. I knew immediately that I was seeing Grandad reading Mum and that I should stop looking but it was like I was frozen. Mum was so involved, she hadn't even sensed me coming, which was really unusual. I should have stopped looking, I knew she didn't want me to see those things, but I couldn't look away and I wish I had."

"I'm sorry Renesmee, it's my fault, not yours. It seems every decision I make hurts you both." I despaired. I regretted my honesty when Renesmee sighed and shrugged me away from me. She stood up, brushing herself down.

"I saw enough from your mind tonight Edward, I know that you never intended to hurt either of us," she said in a despondent voice. "I will change my decision and ask Aro, Marcus and Caius to let you go in peace. The final verdict will be theirs to make, but I'm sure at least Marcus and maybe even Aro will vote with us. You and your family will be free to leave."

My heart constricted and my mind spiralled. I knew that I would rather die than be sent away from Bella or Renesmee, but even my intense selfishness would not allow me to condemn my family along with me. "Renesmee, no," I said in a strangled voice. "I don't want to leave…I can't. Please let me get to know you. You said yourself that you know I never meant to hurt you. I love you."

"I know you didn't mean to hurt us, but you did. The damage you caused," she shook her head, "even if it was unintentional, it was devastating. You really have no idea."

"Then tell me," I demanded.

"You could never understand," she told me firmly.

"Please Renesmee, I need to know. How else can I make it right? Can't you link with me, like you did with Nathan, and show me?" I wondered how that would feel and even as I made the suggestion I was apprehensive. Would she be able to access my most shameful memories, maybe even see everything like Aro could?

"I can't do that, I'm sorry. My gift is very different to Aro's, nowhere near as powerful and it's a two way link. It requires absolute trust, which you and I do not share. I could never expose myself like that to a stranger." She was anxious again, pacing in contrast to my stillness.

Her words pierced through me, causing me unbearable pain. I tried to clamp down on it but couldn't and Renesmee clearly picked up on it. "I'm sorry, but essentially that's what you are. Family is forged over time and shared experience. It's not an instant connection. You should understand. You are not related to any of your coven, but you consider them family and you love them. You and I are related, but we know nothing about each other. We're strangers"

"But I also love you Renesmee. We have a connection and I consider you my family, even if you don't feel the same," I said quietly.

"I see that now," she said with a half-smile, "but it doesn't change the past, I'm sorry."

I ran my hands through my hair in agitation, yanking at it while trying to find the solution, the right words to keep my daughter here and talking to me, to keep her in my life. "I know I hurt you and Bella with my decision to leave. But I have shown you why I did it! You showed all of us the true impact of my mistake when you gave us those memories when we first met."

"I only showed you a few moments, that's all. Don't pretend to understand based on that!" She said angrily.

"Then show me the rest, or if you won't show me, at least tell me. Make me understand!" I resolved that whatever she showed me could not be worse than I had already seen.

"I'm not sure you can even handle it," she said sceptically.

"Try me," I challenged her.

She hesitated, appraising me for a moment before launching ahead with her explanation. "When you first left, Mum was like you showed me you were. She couldn't function. Nothing meant anything to her any more. She was a shell, barely even alive." She spoke slowly and quietly, seeming to consider each word. "She managed to pull herself together a little, to go through the motions of living, mainly for Charlie's sake but she thinks if it hadn't been for me she would never have even begun to recover from it. The first time she felt me kick was an epiphany for her. She had no idea she was pregnant before that and as soon as she did it changed everything for her. She was frightened and alone but intent on protecting me. It gave her focus and energy. First she spent hours and hours trying to contact your family…and you know what the result of that was." She glared at me, rightly placing the blame at my feet. "But the absolute worst of it…what I didn't show you…was her journey to Italy. She gave up everything she knew and the safety of Charlie and her home, for me. She was so frightened of the Volturi and what they would do to us, but she felt she had no choice. The flight was almost unbearable for her. She was craving blood, but obviously couldn't take it on the plane. She was weak and scared and I was attacking her relentlessly but she couldn't show any sign of the pain she was in. Once she arrived in Italy it only got worse. She had never been outside the continental US before and she was in a foreign country, unable to speak the language looking for a secret coven of vampires…" she trailed off, unable to continue. I was just staring at her. She had been right. This was very difficult for me to handle. The idea of Bella alone and pregnant in Italy looking for the Volturi actually made me feel physically sick. I thought I might truly vomit. How could I have left her? What she had to deal with, all alone and all because of me. I hadn't even considered some of those things.

"I told you you wouldn't be able to handle it," Renesmee whispered sadly, cutting through my spiral into despair. "And that is still only a tiny slither of the bigger picture. Can you imagine what it would have been like if I had showed you? I shouldn't be sharing this with you, it's private. I'm so confused. I need to go home," but her tone lacked conviction and she seemed torn.

_Was there something bad waiting for her there? _I worried for the first time.

"Of course not," she snapped irritated, catching me off guard, because I had forgotten to control my thoughts. "It's very complicated. One of the reasons Mum was so intent on avoiding bringing you to Italy was the ramifications for our whole family. My arrival into this world was horrific but my brother's and sister's experiences were so much worse. This whole situation has stirred everything up. I want to talk to them about what I saw but it would feel like I was whinging about a broken fingernail to someone who has lost their arm. And they don't need to know the things that I saw."

She was getting more and more agitated. "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" I asked trying to distract her, but also to alleviate my gnawing curiosity.

She offered me a half smile, seeing straight through me. "Four," she answered, her voice saturated with love and pride. "Daisy, Alfie, Jaden and Nathan." At the mention of Nathan, I froze, remembering the feeling of helplessness as he had nearly shattered me earlier today.

Renesmee regarded me cautiously, deliberating. "It wasn't just him you know," she told me quietly. "Without me helping him, he couldn't have hurt you." I was shocked and upset by this revelation. My own daughter had tried to kill me. "It wasn't really like that," she explained hurriedly. "When minds are linked like mine and Nathan's were, they truly blend. As I shared with him what had happened, I was upset and Nathan was angry and we were feeding off each other's emotions. Neither of us has good control of our gifts when we're emotional and we were both focused on you." I tried to understand but couldn't fully comprehend what she was telling me. It seemed like that if she hated me enough to hurt me like that, then there was little chance of us salvaging any bond between us.

"Do you think there's a chance I can ever be part of your life?" I asked her again, nervous of her answer.

"My family are everything to me Edward and I don't want to hurt them. I don't spend enough time with them as it is. If I take the time to build any sort of relationship with you now, Jaden and Alfie might feel like I'm abandoning them. Maybe in a few years, when they are old enough to understand the complexities, but not now."

"I really don't think I can wait that long." I wanted to be patient and give her time, but I had intended days or maybe weeks, but not years and the need to make her understand was overwhelming. "I am struggling under the weight of this guilt. Please Renesmee, let me try and make it right."

"Like I said I need time. Maybe in a few years or decades. We have forever you know." Decades? She couldn't be serious. How would I be able to cope with the waiting? I was losing control and being swept away again and I didn't know how to survive that long away from Bella and Renesmee. I needed something to cling to, to keep me sane.

"Then just tell me one thing, are you happy? Have you had a good life?" May be if I knew they were genuinely content without me…I couldn't even finish the thought.

Renesmee paused and her eyes glazed, no longer focused on me but seeing something entirely different. I felt the shift as I was pulled into her memory along with her.

_I was concentrating on perfecting an intricate replica of the H.M.S. Bounty. My tongue was poking out in concentration. Me and Dad were working on it together and I had loved every second of spending this time with him. I was sitting on his lap. It was cold and hard but safe and comfortable. We sat back to admire our work and looked at each other and smiling. Finally finished._

"_Looks good Renesmee," he told me._

"_Do you really think Grandad will like it?" I asked anxiously._

"_He'll love it, it's perfect Ness."_

_Unexpectedly the model started to hover, recapturing our attention. I watched horrified as it spilt into its component pieces and sprinkled across the table. I heard a mischievous chuckle moving away from us. Tears dotted in the corners of my eyes as I stared at the carnage that was left of what we had spent hours working on. I bit my lip and looked wordlessly at Dad, trying to get a handle on my emotions. I was almost five, not a baby anymore. I shouldn't let myself get so upset about glue and wood. Dad's lips were pressed together in a tight line and his eyes were glinting. I could hear him mentally counting to ten before he gave me a tight hug, whispering "wait here Ness, I'll be right back" and disappeared._

_While I waited, I appraised the mess in front of me, letting the tears flow freely now. It was difficult to know whether I was more upset or more angry. Life had been perfect until HE came along. Why did I have to put up with him anyway? He was miserable and angry all the time. If he hates it here so much, why does he stay? Why can't he go back to where he came from?_

_Dad reappeared in front of me, but this time not alone. He has his had firmly on HIS shoulder. Nathan. He was scruffy and mean looking and much bigger than me even though he claimed we were the same age. He was staring at me with wide eyes and I could hear in his mind that he was mystified by my tears. I scowled at him, wiping them away, embarrassed._

"_Well," Dad prompted him._

"_I'm sorry I broke your model," he mumbled into his shoes. Dad didn't think this was good enough and gave him a little nudge._

"_I didn't know it was important," his tone was defiant and Dad raised an eyebrow at him. "I didn't mean to upset you, I would never want to make you cry." He was more contrite now and the sincerity of this statement was echoed in his mind. My tears began to fall freely again as I remembered Mum's repeated requests to give him a chance to get used to being part of a family and to have some empathy for his situation. Maybe I was the awful one. The renewed flow of my tears caused him to panic slightly. "I'll help you fix it," he offered without thinking._

_When Mum came in later she found the three of us laughing together as we finished the model for a second time. I actually thought it was better this time. Nathan had to work hard to turn his talent to construction rather than destruction and he had loved the challenge, making fiddly adjustments that even Dad's vampire touch couldn't have achieved. I saw the scene through Mum's eyes and felt the relief flood her thoughts. Her face broke into a beaming smile._

'_My Family,' thought Mum._

'_Dazzling,' thought Dad._

As this memory dissolved, my mind began to skim over other memories that weren't mine. The tone of them was wide ranging from blazing rows to booming laughter, shed tears to shared smiles. As the last one faded away, I gazed at Renesmee, not sure she was even aware she had shared them with me. She looked up at me with a start.

"Sorry, I got a little lost there for a moment," she said gently. "I'm very tired and that happens sometimes. To answer your question, yes. I was happy and I am happy now."

I didn't know how to feel about the absolute honesty, confirmed by the love that had infused each memory, even the negative ones. I wanted to be relieved that she had not missed my presence but I couldn't help feeling devastated that she hadn't needed me. I watched her closely now. She was in her own world again but this time she wasn't sharing it with me. I did catch a few flashes of her thoughts, which were worried and indecisive.

_Daisy would feel abandoned._

_I can't ever let Dad think he wasn't everything I needed._

_I hated Nathan at first as well, but he made my life so much better._

_Should I?_

I held my breath and waited. If I had of needed oxygen, I would have passed out. I wished I could. Renesmee was deciding. Her decision would impact so many lives it seemed, mine, Bella's, her family's, my families…

"No pressure then," she grimaced, obviously having got the gist of my ill-concealed train of thought.

We gazed at each other in silence. We didn't have long left before dawn. The shades of grey of the forest were much lighter now. The only sound was Renesmee's thrumming heartbeat, no other creatures were nearby as they were keeping their distance from me.

"I would like us to get to know each other," Renesmee whispered eventually, slicing through the silence. I exhaled in relief.

"Thank you, so much, Renesmee." I told her intensely, immensely grateful to hear those words. "I would love that. Our family will be so excited…"

"Wait," Renesmee stopped me urgently. _Mum loved and trusted them and they hurt her so badly. How could I ever trust them after they abandoned us?_

"It would mean so much to them, please give them a chance as well." I couldn't not fight for my family's involvement in Renesmee and Bella's life. Esme, Emmett and Alice especially would be devastated if they were left out. I owed them so much more than this, for all the anguish I had caused them.

"There would have to be conditions," Renesmee was still hesitant.

"Name them," I would do anything.

"If you want to be a part of my life, then you will have to be a part of my family's life. We're a package deal. I don't want to hurt them, or let them think they are replaceable." Her voice held a certain steel to it that let me know this was non-negotiable. My heart sank. Even if I was willing to concede this, it was surely impossible.

"Renesmee, your family hates us," I told her desperately. "I'm sure Fred will not let us anywhere near them and Bella is so angry. We've hardly seen her and she avoids us whenever she can. As for Nathan…I'm not sure it's a good idea."

"Well then now is not a good time," she told me sadly, "like I said, maybe in a few decades."

"No Renesmee, I'll do whatever it takes, but I'm sure Fred and your siblings would never accept us." I said entreatingly.

"If they can't accept you, then I can't. I would like to give us a chance to know each other, but not if it risks dividing or hurting my family," she paused to consider. "If you apologise to Mum…all of you, sincerely and really mean it. If you can get her to accept that, then Dad will support whatever she decides." She seemed sure about this. "But, it will have to be good," she warned.

"We've tried that Renesmee, of course we have. We're all very sorry and we've told her that. But she won't listen to any of us."

"You can't blame her for that surely?"

"No, but even without your prompting, we all want her forgiveness more than anything."

"Come to the house, our house." Renesmee invited. "Stop trying to isolate Mum. She feels much more comfortable at home with our family. If she sees you making that effort, she might listen to you. It will still have to be an epic apology though."

I nodded my consent. Of course I would try. I would keep trying forever if I had to.

"Okay," Renesmee appeared relieved we had reached some sort of resolution. I was startled as the knowledge of how to get to her home materialised in mind. "But, I really do have to go, I'm exhausted, not even thinking straight. I need to sleep."

"Renesmee," I called after her, not yet ready to let her leave and remembering something essential to prepare my family for this. "Will you ask Bella to lower her shield around Jasper?"

She glared at me, puzzled and distrustful again.

"That's what we were looking for Bella to ask her earlier. Jasper misses his gift." I danced around the truth. He did miss some aspects of it, I was sure.

"I'll tell Mum you asked," she conceded, turning from me and running, eventually melting into the dim distance.

I missed her almost immediately. I wasn't even remotely sure that there was any chance of convincing Bella and her family to forgive us and get to know us. But at least I still had hope.

**xxx**

**AN: Thanks for reading. **

**So next chapter, the Cullens are going to visit Bella and her family. How do you think that will go?**

**I love to hear what you think. **

**Follow me on Twitter? (at) KayMarieXW**


	15. 14: Tried so hard

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: Thank you so much to everyone who is still reading, your support is so amazing to me and each alert, favourite and review brightens my day. Merrygreeneyes reviewed as she was reading yesterday and that spurred me on to finally finish this chapter. Special thank yous, as always, to those of you who come back and read and review each time. Your reviews are extra special to me. Kyles02 requested more Alec, so I added him into this chapter just for her.**

**TheaJ1 and OrAreWeDancers beta'd this chapter for me and I would've lost my way a while ago if it weren't for them. Thank you so much ladies.**

**The last chapter was exclusively about Edward and Renesmee's impromptu meeting in the forest. She has given him an opening but will be make the most of it…**

**14: Tried So Hard**

I didn't have as much time to think as I would've liked as I sped back through the forest towards the castle. I was being chased by dawn. At least my mind reading let me know that there were no humans around to bear witness if the light caught up with me and I wondered if that would save me if I was found outside the castle in the sunshine.

I burst through the side gate, into the courtyard, slamming the gate shut behind me and forcing my back up against it, pressing my eyes closed and panting. Seeing as I didn't need to physically catch my breath, it must have been the psychological effect of the close call.

"Very human," a familiar voice told me wryly.

I opened my eyes to see Alice waiting for me, relief and consternation warring on her face. Her thoughts showed me how anxious she had been when I had not returned from hunting and her debate as to whether to search for me when I had not arrived back by the near of dawn. She hadn't told any of the others her concerns and they thought that I was skulking somewhere else in the castle. She hadn't been able to see the consequences of telling them, because her visions were still blocked by Bella's shield and she had worried about making things worse by drawing Volturi attention to my absence or ending up with other family members exposed by the sunlight, searching for me.

_I'm so lost without my visions, _she thought sadly. _I've relied on them so long I don't know how to make a decision without them._ I could hear the layers of pain and guilt that she felt for failing me and the family by having no idea what was happening to Bella over our twenty year separation but most acutely she was devastated that Bella had had to endure the ramifications of our abandonment alone. I pulled my sister into my arms, feeling ashamed that I had been selfishly dwelling on my own pain. She returned the hug after only a moment's hesitation, accepting my comfort graciously and offering me her own. It had been too long since I had truly felt close to my favourite sister. Just one more thing to add to the list of things I had broken.

_Where have you been, Edward? I've been so worried._

"I've been with Renesmee, talking." I murmured almost silently, but as she was so close, she had no difficulty hearing me.

_Really? _Immediately her mental tone became lighter, injected with hope. She'd decided that it couldn't have been a disaster or I wouldn't be here with her now.

"She's invited us to their home," I informed her, trying to find a balance to the conflicting emotions of hope and fear that that evoked. Alice began to vibrate with excitement, making my teeth chatter. I released her, mainly so I could look at her but also because teeth chattering was uncomfortable.

"It's not simple Alice," I warned her earnestly. "It's an opening that's all and we must be careful or we could ruin this permanently."

_But that's just it, Edward. I thought we had already ruined this permanently. She's given us a chance and that's more than we deserve. Thank goodness she has inherited more of Bella's compassion than of your stubbornness._

"I know Alice, you're right. However she made it very clear that her and her whole family are a package deal. We have to earn Bella's forgiveness and convince the rest of their family, which obviously includes Fred and Nathan, to accept us."

Alice frowned, grasping the enormity of the task ahead. _Difficult, but not impossible. We will have to talk to our family and decide the best way to approach this situation. We can't blow this Edward, if we do, it will destroy our family and we'll never be the same._

In silent agreement and with cautious determination, we headed back to our family.

xxx

As I recounted my conversation with Renesmee to my family, I was assaulted by a variety of thoughts.

Carlisle's were apprehensive, he was worried that we were pushing too hard and too fast and that time was needed to heal some wounds and any reconciliation should be gradual. Jasper was pensive and it frustrated me that I didn't know whether or not he would support me, although if I had to guess then I would've thought his opinions would mirror Carlisle's almost exactly.

Esme and Alice were gingerly hopeful. Both were thrilled by the idea of being closer to Bella and Renesmee and eager to build a relationship as quickly as possible, but concerned about hurting either of them with a wrongly worded phrase and recognised the wisdom in being cautious.

Emmett was excited. He wanted his sister back, he was enthusiastic about meeting her family and getting to know them and he didn't have a cautious bone in his body.

Rosalie was chagrined. She wanted to accept Renesmee's offer of leaving unpunished and never returning. She had no interest in spending time with Bella or Renesmee. As far as she was concerned we were too late. She would've loved to have a child in our family, but Renesmee was no longer a child and therefore of no interest to her. She could see that Emmett did not feel the same. His excitement was obvious and she was seething in anticipation of another argument with him.

As the discussions began they were inevitably loud, fast and emotional. With so much at stake, everyone would be affected by the consequences of any decision and we were all worried about making unrectifiable mistakes. Just as I was worried we would attract unwanted attention, a loud drilling ring stunned us all to silence. We looked at each other in surprise before searching for the source of the noise. It was coming from a phone discretely positioned at the circumference of the room. Carlisle and I both moved to answer it, so I politely deferred to him.

"Hello," he answered curiously.

"Good morning Carlisle," I instantly recognised Bella's melodic voice and furiously regretted my manners in allowing Carlisle to pick up the phone.

"Bella," Carlisle greeted her, "how lovely to hear your voice. What can we do for you? We are at your service."

"I was hoping to speak to Jasper, if he's there," Bella requested courteously.

"Of course, he's right here, I'll pass you over." Carlisle held out the phone to Jasper, who took it apprehensively.

"Good morning Bella," he spoke softly.

"Jasper," Bella began, in a tone much warmer and less formal than the one she had used with Carlisle. I felt a surge of jealously. "I'm not sure if you are aware that Edward spoke to Renesmee during the night." I could practically feel her disapproval over the phone, as did the rest of his family.

"Yes, he did tell us," Jasper replied, "I'm sure he meant no harm and he'll be sorry if he's distressed you." I was immensely grateful that Jasper was trying to soothe the situation for me.

"I'm just worried about her, that's all. She has been very tired recently and another night's sleep interrupted has left her exhausted." My family gaped at me, amazed by the revelation that Renesmee slept. Carlisle's curiosity kicked in and his mind began to whirr with questions and speculations about the differences and similarities between vampires, humans and hybrids.

"I'm sure Edward would've been more considerate had he of known," Jasper defended me, whilst still keeping his voice apologetic.

"Thank you," I mouthed silently to him and he gave me a curt nod.

"He told her that you would like me to lower my shield from around you Jasper and I wanted to check with you that that was the case before I actually did it." Bella told him. Jasper glared at me intensely for a few moments. "Jasper?" Bella prompted him. With one last angry glare at me, he responded to her query in a slightly strained voice.

"If you wouldn't mind Bella, I have found I rely on my empathy in more ways than I realised."

"Of course Jasper, so long as you're sure, as soon as I hang up, I'll let it down," Bella told him. "If that's all…"

"Actually Bella, there was one other thing. Edward told us that Renesmee invited us to your home and he is eager to accept her offer as soon as possible, but some of us are worried that this would not be something you'd welcome and we don't want to cause you any anxiety or stress."

There was a very long pause. I glared at Jasper, furious with him for offering Bella the chance to rescind Renesmee's invitation. He returned my stare, equally furious, I assumed because he blamed me forcing an end to his peace of mind.

"This is Renesmee's home as well," Bella answered carefully, "and she is welcome to invite anyone she wishes here. I would ask you to please remember that this is our family home and my whole family have the right to feel comfortable and safe here, so please don't do or say anything to upset that. As long as you are respectful, they will be also."

"Naturally Bella, we will be considerate," Jasper assured her but he was eying Rosalie unsurely as he said it. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Well I'm sure I'll see you soon then. Goodbye Jasper," Bella seemed a little flustered and distracted as she ended the call and I hoped she did not regret agreeing to let us visit.

A few moments later, I felt Jasper's mind open to me and watched in concern as he crumpled under the strain of the sudden resurgence of his gift. Our emotions were like a whirlpool around him. Fear, hope, love, hate, sadness, anger, bitterness, anxiety, regret, all swirling in his mind dragging him down. In desperation he lashed out, sending our emotions back at us in a tsunami that put us all on our knees. It took supreme effort and practiced power for Jasper to calm himself enough to stop projecting and the rest of us sagged in relief, although I could feel Jasper's continuing struggle. Alice was instantly at his side trying to limit her feelings to her unconditional love for Jasper and a sense of calm and relaxation. She placed her hands on his neck and he was able to channel her emotions and finally calm descended on him as well. He smiled at her gratefully and took her hand as he rose to his feet, unwilling to relinquish her touch. The rest of my family were trying to keep a lid on their emotions, to minimise Jasper's discomfort, even Rosalie was trying to be considerate. Jasper had always been her favourite, after Emmett and she hated to see him in pain. We all stood still in silent reflection for several minutes, giving Jasper time to acclimatise to the return of his extra sense.

I was getting restless though. Time was slipping away and I really wanted to visit Bella and Renesmee today. I couldn't wait in case either of them changed their minds. Jasper was very sensitive to my growing tension.

"Edward, I think it is prudent to have patience," Jasper rebuked me gently. "It would be a mistake to force ourselves on them. We could all hear Bella's concern and hesitation. If you push a relationship on them, you may destroy it. We have time and they need that time to heal." Jasper's mind was set. He knew that Alice would be devastated if we were unable to reconcile with Bella and Renesmee and he was worried that it would cause a permanent change in her if we ruined our chance, making it impossible for her to be happy and carefree, as she once was. He was desperate to ensure things went well and he felt we should be cautious now to enhance our chances of things developing positively.

He didn't understand. None of them did. I had no time. My sanity was teetering on a precipice. I could feel how almost all of my family agreed with Jasper. I considered going without them, but knew that was not wise. Renesmee had been clear. I was not welcome alone and she would only sanction a reconciliation as families, not as individuals. Also without their support, how would I hold onto my temper in the face of the hostility I would undoubtedly have to endure from Fred, Nathan and even Bella? I knew I could not do it alone. I needed my family. They loved Bella, Renesmee and me and would keep me in check and diffuse any inevitable mistake that I made. But they would not come today. They were determined to wait.

I snapped.

The dam I had built in my mind to protect us all crumbled and buried thoughts and emotions burst through. I became completely detached from the room, focused on the images flooding my mind. I remembered the twenty years of torture and isolation I had endured, disciplining myself to stay away from Bella. I thought about everything I had missed of my daughter's childhood. I considered what could have happened to Bella if she hadn't found the Volturi and what she had to suffer despite and because of their involvement. I allowed myself to acknowledge that another man had taken my place in Bella and Renesmee's lives and loved and cared for them the way I should have done. The pain of these thoughts was unbearable, but I relished it, knowing I deserved that and more. No one was to blame but me.

_Edward. Edward…Edward. Edward! EDWARD. EdwardEdwardEdward. Edward…Edward, Edward. Edward. EDWARD! _Even locked in my own mind I could never be alone. Never be left in peace.

I was dimly aware of a loud roaring in my ears and a violent shaking. Earthquake? I tried to claw to senses back to my control, but it was difficult. The first thing I became aware of was that it was Carlisle who was shaking me. I cut off the roar as I realised that originated from me. I frantically took in my surroundings. Carlisle looked desperate and panicked as he shook me so hard that my brain rattled. Despite the shaking Esme was clinging on to me, holding me and murmuring soothing reassurances that had almost formed a melodic lullaby. Across the room, Jasper was writhing on the floor in agony, surrounded by Alice, Emmett and Rose, ineffectively trying to help him. I resurrected the barriers in my mind, forcing back the destructive thoughts and emotions and wrestling with my sanity. In tandem, Jasper and I both calmed together. We locked eyes. His were wide and incredulous. Our family stepped away from us cautiously.

_I had no idea Edward. _Jasper thought worriedly. _How are you keeping that bottled up? Neither of us will survive if you let that out again._

"I don't have time, Jasper," I said in response. "Unless I can start to make amends for abandoning them and move forward, the past will catch up with me and obliterate my mind." He continued to stare at me thoughtfully.

"We will need to go today," he told the rest of my family decisively. His voice held a final authority and my family acquiesced to him instantly.

XxX

Alec arrived to investigate the commotion. He eyed us all speculatively as if he had been expecting to find a pile of body parts and was surprised to find us all intact. I wondered if he waited until the wailing and roaring had stopped, hoping that we had actually destroyed each other.

"All is well in here?" he asked, with a trace of a smirk.

"Yes thank you Alec," I answered in a clipped tone and he smiled coolly at me.

"Actually Alec," Carlisle interrupted politely, "Renesmee has invited us to her home and we were hoping to leave as soon as possible."

"It's not wise to travel in the daylight, Carlisle. I'd of thought that was obvious," he told us incredulously.

"I understand that Alec, but it's not impossible and we have been informed that the hybrid children sleep at night and it would be unfair to deprive them of their rest. We would like to go as soon as possible." Carlisle's tone was firm as he addressed Alec but his eyes were on me the whole time.

"So travel at night and visit with them tomorrow," Alec suggested, implying that solution was the obvious one.

"It is possible to travel during the day." It was Esme who insisted, she was also unable to tear her eyes from me, her concern for me was evident.

"Of course, but it has its' risks," Alec spoke more kindly to Esme, which was unsurprising as it was impossible to be harsh to her. "If you were to be discovered to be supernatural by a human, it would not bode well for them or you."

Alice lightly flitted over to Alec. They were the most similar in size and appearance and Alec seemed to be the most accepting of her. "Please Alec," she asked him. "We are willing to risk it and we will be exceedingly careful, I promise." It seemed Alec was as susceptible to the charms of Esme and Alice as the rest of us were. Begrudgingly he crossed the room and opened an ornately carved wardrobe. Hanging inside were cloaks, matching in colour, but a variety of sizes. They were hideous. The pattern was uniform, but tiny. Two tone, the colours were a mixture of dirty brown and mustard. They seemed to glow somehow. Alice actually let out a little shriek of disgust.

"Still want to go?" Alec asked smugly.

"We have to wear those?" Alice whispered in dismay.

"Absolutely," Alec said firmly. "We actively discourage our guests from travelling during the day, but if they insist then we try and make sure they are discreet as possible."

"Discreet? Are you serious?" Alice asked shrilly. "They are practically luminous and definitely hideous!"

"Actually to human eyes they are dull and drab," Alec retorted. "They blend in with both the stone of the city and the trees in the forest. And as you can see, to our eyes they do stand out, so for our practical purposes they are perfect."

"So we have no choice other than to wear them?" Alice frowned, as if they had personally insulted her.

"If you wish to travel in the sunlight, then yes," Alec told us finally.

Stepping forward, I grabbed a cloak that was about the right size and donned it, wanting to get things moving and not really caring what I looked like on the way. Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme followed suit, also unconcerned about appearances. Surprisingly Rosalie did not make a fuss either. She was fuming mentally, but was unprepared to be left out of anything the whole family was doing. I felt sure that Jasper was already beginning to influence her. Alice lifted a small cloak gingerly and put it on with a grimace, but also said nothing more. We looked each other up and down. I could categorically state that we had never, ever, been dressed in anything worse.

"Didn't you have a dress made out of this fabric in the Seventies?" Emmett foolishly asked Alice with a childish twinkle in his eye. She flew at him with a snarl.

"Take that back!" she hissed.

"Whoa, no need to over react Alice," Emmett grinned, unperturbed, gently lifting her away. "It was an easy mistake to make."

XxX

Alec led us through the castle to the sewers access and then though the sewers themselves. The route was far from direct. There were many twists and turns and even with our memory it would've been fairly easy to get lost without Alec to guide us. Most of us wondered why anyone would travel during the day if this was the route they had to take. It was exceptionally unpleasant. Eventually we emerged through a concealed entrance in a storage shed nestled in the forest.

"Do you know the way from here?" Alec asked.

"Yes," I replied, "Renesmee put the knowledge in my mind last night."

"Okay, remember to keep your skin covered and to move at an acceptable human speed," Alec warned us in parting. We drew up the hoods of our cloaks, casting our faces in shadow and tucked our hands in our sleeves. We actually looked like monks. Crazy, Paisley Monks. It was very tedious to move at human speed, especially as I could be sure there were no humans anywhere near us, but we knew that Aro would eventually find out if we broke the Volturi restrictions.

The grounds to Bella and Renesmee's home were surrounded by a thorny high hedge that would be impossible for humans to scale and accessed by a concealed coded gate. It was like a modern secret garden. The access control technology seemed totally alien here. When Renesmee had imparted the knowledge of how to get here, she had also given me a code. My family were in awe of the security of it all. It was not what they were expecting at all.

Once inside the grounds, the forest was still dense, but more cared for with an air of organisation and order to it. A clear path wound its' way from the gate through the trees and we followed it. When it forked, we veered to the right as per Renesmee's mental instructions. Eventually we came out into a huge clearing, with a stone built house nestled in the periphery. As we approached it, it was clear that it was much larger than it had first appeared, but somehow seemed to naturally blend into its' surroundings. The windows were set high, so you could not see inside from ground level. The large wooden arch shaped front door was stained oak, with an ornate wrought iron knocker. Everything about it screamed haunted house and I was sure that if a human accidentally came across it, they would not have the audacity to knock. I was not sure that I had the audacity to knock. Emmett chuckled at me, "You practically drag us out here and now you're too afraid to even knock on the door!" He pushed past me, seized the knocker and rapped it.

Only a few moments passed before the door was flung open. Blocking the doorway was Nathan. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rose and I recognised him instantly and fought our instincts to back away from him, knowing what he was capable of. His face was initially closed and hostile but as he looked us over he seemed to be fighting a grin.

"Oh how I love Alec right now," he said under his breath then grimaced and put his hand to his forehead. "Alright, Alright," he grumbled, "no need to shout Little Sis, I promised to be polite and I will be." He moved to one side and invited us in with an exaggerated sweeping of his hand and a sarcastic bow.

_If this is polite, I'd hate to see him when he's being rude, _thought Emmett.

We were ushered in to a massive windowless entrance hall, its' décor was reminiscent of the Volturi castle and I wondered if Bella had changed so much that this was actually her personal taste, or if it had been forced on her. No other exit to the room was immediately obvious until Nathan shut the door behind us to reveal a narrow staircase off to the side.

Nathan told us to hang up our cloaks and follow him. We had to go single file up the stairs, coming to a landing that had a closed door opposite the threshold of the stairs and an open one turning into the main house. Nathan led us through the open door. We arrived in a second entrance hall, but it could not have been more different from the first. A variety of cloaks and coats were hanging haphazardly on pegs and an assortment of shoes littered the edge of the floor. Once through the hallway we came to a stop in a huge open plan living space. It was flooded with natural light and despite its' size felt homely and almost cosy. It was clean and tidy, but cluttered. Esme looked around enviously. It was not beautifully decorated like our homes tended to be, but it had something that Esme strived for but had never quite managed to achieve: A sense of actually being lived in.

Renesmee was waiting anxiously in the sitting area. I could sense she was extremely nervous. Bella and Fred stood to greet us. It was odd to see them dressed so casually, as we had only seen them in Volturi cloaks before now. Bella looked more like I remembered her, wearing Jeans and an unassuming black fitted T-shirt. Her eyes were black again, as were Fred's and I wondered why they were thirsty again so soon. Was it because Bella's gift was constantly in use and this drained her energy reserve and if this was the case why were Fred's eyes black too? And why hadn't they hunted if they were thirsty? Probably because of the hunting restrictions around Volterra I guessed. Bella looked as apprehensive as Renesmee did and Fred was incredibly difficult to read as he stood by her side.

"Welcome to our home," Bella said formally and then frowned as if unsure how to proceed.

"Thank you," Carlisle answered for all of us. "It's very gracious of you to allow us to come, after the inexcusable way we have acted. I know that we all sincerely regret any hurt that we have caused you."

"It is Renesmee who you should be thanking, Carlisle," Bella sighed and took a deep breath before continuing. "I think as things have been so erratic over the last few days, formal introductions and a fresh start may be the best way forward. This is my husband, Fred. Of course you all know Renesmee and this is our eldest son Nathan." Despite her words of a fresh start Bella was still so detached it was clear she had not forgiven any of us and I was worried because Renesmee had been explicit that Bella's forgiveness was a condition set in stone.

Nathan was essentially ignoring us. He had sat down at a large dining table, where an array of papers and magazines and a battered lap top were spread out. He looked like a stereotypical surly teenager, studying for exams and he further added to the humanness of Bella's home.

"Well, please, make yourselves comfortable," Bella said uneasily. I thought back to the first time Bella had met my family. Despite her being human, she had been so trusting and accepting of us. Now she was a vampire like us, she was much more suspicious and wary, even though she now held the ability to destroy us, rather than the other way around.

We sat down awkwardly on the squishy sofas and chairs, not sure as to how to act. Things were incredibly strained and I could hear my family continuing to worry that this meeting had been pushed forward too soon. No one really knew how to proceed and most of them were terrified for the consequences to me if this did not go well.

The sudden ringing of a phone startled us all. Fred excused himself and went to the corner of the room to answer it.

"Taylor-Swan residence," his voice was loud in the silence of the room and his words made my mind roil with fury. I felt a blanket of calm from Jasper and felt both grateful and resentful that he had his gift back at his disposal.

"Fred. How are you, son?" We all turned towards Fred in shock as we recognised the gruff voice on the other end of the phone.

"I'm well thank you Charlie, and yourself?" Fred replied, turning away from us, but not managing to achieve any privacy.

"Can't complain I suppose," Charlie told him.

"I'm surprised you called, are you sure there's nothing wrong?" Fred seemed mildly concerned but there was a hint of irony in his voice as well.

"Ha ha, very funny," Charlie answered sarcastically. It was apparent that Fred and Charlie were sharing an inside joke, which further stoked my jealousy, causing Jasper to put his hand on my shoulder. "Actually I was going to ask you the same thing. Usually no more than two days passes before I hear from one or other of your brood and it's been over a week since anyone has been in touch."

"I'm sorry we worried you Charlie and I'm glad you called, everyone's fine. We've just been a little preoccupied that's all. It's my nephew's birthday this week and everyone is home for the celebrations. I have a house full again and it's contented chaos here."

"You know I wish I could be a part of that chaos Fred and that's something I've been meaning to discuss with you," Charlie hesitated for a second before continuing, "I'm planning on retiring soon and was hoping you would welcome your father-in-law for an extended visit."

It was the first time I had seen a crack in Fred's calm demeanour. He gaped into the phone, turning to Renesmee and Bella for inspiration as to how to reply, but they were equally speechless. Nathan looked up in amusement and held up his hand which the phone flew into.

"Hello Grandad," he said happily.

"Nathan," Charlie greeted him enthusiastically. "Your Dad said you were home. How's the studying going? You're not causing your Mum too much stress I hope. She's really missed having you around."

"I don't know what you mean Grandad, I'm the best behaved son anyone could wish for," Nathan said with what was almost genuine innocence.

"Of course you are!" Charlie scoffed.

"So I overheard you telling Dad you were going to visit…that's awesome. I just wanted to make sure you remember to give us plenty of notice. I'd hate to miss your visit because I was studying overseas and couldn't arrange to get home. It'd really suck for everyone to meet you but me. I know Ness'd feel the same." Nathan told Charlie earnestly.

"Oh don't worry Nathan, it's a few years away yet I think. And I'll definitely make sure I'd get to spend time with you and Ness when I come. You know me, I'm not exactly impulsive. It will take some organising." Fred, Bella and Renesmee were visibly relieved and Nathan smiled reassuringly at them.

"Listen Grandad, Mum's a bit stressed as we've got some miserable social workers," Nathan looked pointedly at us, "coming to check on the little ones and the house is a mess coz we're all here and she's worried it'll affect Jaden's adoption."

"She always was a worrier. I know it'll be fine. You have a wonderful family there and no one would consider trying to split you up." Charlie responded confidently.

"We all hope that's true," Nathan said seriously, still glaring at us. "I'll get her or Ness to call you later once everything's calmed down."

"Okay Nathan, give everyone my love. Speak to you soon," Charlie said with rough emotion.

"Bye Grandad, look after yourself," Nathan ended the call.

"You're still in touch with Charlie." Esme stated happily, both touched and surprised that they'd been able to maintain contact.

"How does that fit into the Volturi rules?" sneered Rosalie.

"Just fine," snapped Renesmee, clearly annoyed with Rosalie's implication, "he doesn't suspect anything."

"You're lucky he never was that bright, how he ever made Chief of Police I'll never understand," Rosalie continued disdainfully.

"Rosalie" Esme admonished. Jasper was trying to regulate, but he seemed a little out of practice and on top of that he couldn't influence Bella who growled menacingly at Rose. Everyone began talking at once so no one heard the door open.

"Only me," a new voice sang out, it belonged to a human woman who was struggling to carry a pile of various kitchen items. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and she looked generally dishevelled. "Just returning…" but she faltered as she took in the scene before her, her hazel eyes widening in shock. "I'm sorry," she stammered, "I didn't realise you had company."

"I should've known Bella'd need domestic help to cope with her family. And how much do you know about your employers?"

The woman flinched away from Rose's sharp tone and the pile she was carrying wobbled. She reached to steady it but dislodged a large kitchen knife. She tried to catch it as it fell but missed the handle and sliced her palm on the blade. The rest of the pile clattered to the ground as she clutched her hand to her chest. Red delicious liquid began to pulse down her forearm. Her face wore a look of horror which indicated she understood the implications of bleeding in the middle of a room filled with vampires.

My family froze. Most of us singularly determined not to be the weak one that lunged for her. Jasper was battling his nature with his full force, resolute not to have a repeat of the last time he was in this position. The only one of us unaffected was Carlisle. He was watching our reactions closely, planning to prevent any of us 'hunting' so close to Volterra. My family's resolve was strong and we were animal drinkers, well-practiced at resisting human blood. But the same could not be said for Bella's family. I remembered how dark Bella and Fred's eyes had been and hoped they'd be able to resist, but then the scent reached my nose. I ground my teeth and clenched my jaw, trying to resist the delectable smell.

I watched in horror as Bella, Fred, Renesmee and Nathan sprang at the petrified human. I wondered who she was and how important was she to them. I hoped Fred or Nathan would reach her first, so I wouldn't have to watch Bella or Renesmee feed from her.

What would be the consequences for the one who ended her life?

XxX

**AN: Who do you think she is and who do you think will get to her first? If you make a guess in a review, I will let you know whether or not you're right when I reply.**

**I would so love to hear what you think…I didn't think I'd become so addicted to reviews, but I really am!**

**If you'd like to, come chat with me on Twitter: (at) KayMarieXW **


	16. 15: Just Leave

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: I'm still alive, and I'm sorry it's been a while. My list of excuses is long and I won't bore you with it! Thank you for not abandoning me and for still coming back to read. I love you all, especially those who review, you make me so happy!**

**My betas TheaJ1 and OrAreWeDancers are so supportive and I really appreciate everything they do for me.**

**This chapter is for eli-dunbigboot because there's a revelation at the end of it that I've been dying to share with her ever since the first day we Tweeted each other!**

_So the Cullen's were visiting Bella & Renesmee's family and all was going better than expected until Rosalie was rude about Charlie and a human woman walked in on the snarling that ensued. She was startled and cut herself. Bella and Fred's eyes were already black and all of the Taylor-Swan family sprang at the woman, who seemed to know just how much danger she was in…_

_xXx_

**15: Just Leave**

Everything was moving in slow motion. My whole family stood by and watched helplessly as Bella, Fred, Nathan and Renesmee lunged at this frightened, defenceless human woman. Abruptly Fred vanished, although I could not fathom why he would need to use his gift, unless maybe, it was an attempt to beat the others to their intended prey. When they were only half a metre away I decided to close my eyes, it was too close to call who would reach this unfortunate human first and I could not stand to watch if Bella or Renesmee killed her. The scent of the blood in the air was making it difficult to concentrate on anything else.

Despite my closed eyes, I could still see what my family were seeing and I caught a movement that made my own fly open again in shock. In graceful unison, Bella, Renesmee and Nathan spun to face our family, forming a defensive line in front of the bleeding human. This display was incredibly impressive, however the gap left where Fred should have been standing did detract from the effect a little. Despite the gaping hole in the defensive line, I begrudgingly acknowledged that fleeing was still an extraordinary display of strength and resolve for a human-drinking, thirsty vampire. Or any blood thirsty vampire for that matter.

I quickly scanned the minds of the rest of my family and was relieved to find that they were still all in control. Renesmee, Bella and Nathan clearly were not convinced that this was the case. They were still lowered in defensive crouches, prepared to spring. I had no doubt that they intended to protect this human by any means necessary and I wondered again what she meant to them.

A small part of me was hurt that Bella and Renesmee had so little faith in my family's ability to resist the scent of human blood. They both knew we had done it for many years, with virtually no slips. But however much I wanted to believe that it wasn't, their reaction was completely justified. Because there had been slips. The last time Bella had seen my family while she was still human, Jasper had tried to attack her just because she has spilt the tiniest drop of blood. Even though she knew and trusted him. Even though he loved her like a sister. Since becoming like us, Bella must have a whole new understanding of how almost impossible it was to resist the lure of fresh flowing human blood. This time her throat would be ablaze as well, because the woman bleeding a few metres from us had sustained considerably more than a paper cut. All of us were a danger to her. Except Carlisle of course.

"I know it's an intrusion, but I'm going to have to look and check that you do not pose a danger to Anna," Renesmee told us, whilst still maintaining her defensive stance. "I will be briefly scanning your current thoughts, and I won't stop while Anna is here," she warned. Her voice was firm and stern but I could tell she was wary about intruding on our privacy this time and I felt it was a huge leap forward from our initial meeting in the throne room when she had furiously plucked the thoughts from Rosalie's mind.

I concentrated on their minds as well. I fervently hoped that Renesmee would get a good impression of us all from our thoughts. I was mostly relieved by what I read. For lack of anything else to do in Volterra we had all hunted much more than normal so we weren't thirsty, which was incredibly lucky right now and was helping a lot.

Only Rosalie was harbouring any malevolent thoughts and they weren't aimed at the human. Some of her venomous train of thinking was pointed at Bella and her family, but most of her animosity was targeted at us, especially Emmett. She was still feeling betrayed that we had come here at all, firmly believing we were choosing Bella over her needs…yet again. She was making no attempt to conceal her thoughts, but I was relieved that they were less aggressive than the last time Renesmee had listened to them. That was more than I could have expected really.

Fortunately everyone else's minds were much less sullied.

Carlisle was worrying about us all, hoping we would have the strength to resist, hoping that we might finally be able to give a decent impression that was reflective of our family and hoping that the human woman, Anna, would be okay. He wondered if he would be allowed to help her.

Emmett and Jasper's thoughts were similar to each other's. Both were fighting hard against their natures, but had a good grip on their inner bloodthirsty demon. Despite their painful burning throats, neither Emmett nor Jasper were prepared to leave the room while the rest of the family were facing such formidable opponents as both Bella and Nathan had proved to be.

Alice and Esme were thinking in absolute synchronicity. Their love for Bella and Renesmee was paramount and overriding everything else including their thirst. I would actually describe it as beautiful to look into their minds right now. They were shining examples of everything Carlisle had ever wished for us to achieve. Their love for our family, which to them undoubtedly included Bella and Renesmee, was more powerful than their thirst and there was no danger of them doing anything to jeopardise the slight progress we had made in earning Bella and Renesmee's trust. As it was running through their minds, I could hear it all. The honest hope they had harboured over the past two decades that Bella was living a happy human life. Hope that had been cruelly shattered. The regret of everything Bella had had to go through alone. The deep remorse that they had ever left her in the first place. The fact that they had always loved her, had always considered her family and that nothing could change that. I hoped that Renesmee had heard it all as well.

I thought that maybe she had. She was regarding Esme and Alice with incredulity and much of the hostility had drained from her. There was something shifting that was almost palpable. I held my breath, not daring to hope that things could be better, but still hoping all the same.

"Ness," Nathan's voice rang out impatiently, breaking the spell. I tried to contain my irritation with him, knowing it would not help my situation with Renesmee.

"They're all in control," Renesmee said, but she sounded a little vague and distracted so Bella and Nathan didn't move. They seemed to be waiting on something, but I had no idea what. Renesmee was listening still.

"There's no danger at the moment, Dad. I'm sure," Renesmee said more firmly. I thought briefly that maybe she was talking to me, but then Fred materialised out of thin air, completing their defensive barrier. He was ferocious, focused and disciplined. It was clear he had never left the room, that he had been there all along, but invisible under the cloak of his gift.

Jasper's mind exploded onto higher alert at the sight of this proven threat among us. He knew better than anyone what Fred was capable of. His respect of 'The Ghost' was almost ingrained into him and his focus drew my attention to his thoughts. He was wondering what strategic advantage Fred had gained by using his gift that way. Surely it would have been more advantageous to present a united front? He was concerned that he was missing something and he did not like that feeling one bit. All of us, but more importantly to him, Alice, were in a very fragile situation and he was not at all confident we'd stand even the slightest chance if it came to a fight. He hated the feeling that he might be unable to protect her.

_He was protecting me, _Renesmee's voice rang clear as a bell in Jasper's mind, startling us both. _He knew that in our line up, I would be considered the weakest and if any of you attacked, you'd instinctively take the easiest route. He wanted to protect me by offering you a gap you'd go for, so you'd have him to contend with, not me, or Nathan, or Mum. _Both Jasper and I looked between Fred and Renesmee in astonishment. I think I might have seen the true Fred for the first time. The protective husband and father that he clearly was.

Of course he was absolutely right. If any of us had succumbed to the bloodlust, we would have acted on instinct, disregarding any bonds of family, love or friendship. We'd have attacked the human and we'd have instinctively taken the path of least resistance. We'd have condemned Renesmee to get to the blood. Bella and Fred were vampires we'd seen in action. Nathan had proved how dangerous he could be. Renesmee was a hybrid without an offensive gift. I was horrified at the thought of the damage one of my brothers' could have unintentionally done to her and in that moment I was very grateful that Fred was so capable of protecting her.

Nathan and Bella had now eased out of their crouches as if Fred's reappearance was the silent signal they'd been waiting for. The atmosphere remained charged though, and it was clear that we were all still on high alert.

"Are you okay, Anna?" Nathan directed the question gently behind him, while still keeping his eyes firmly on us.

"Fine. I'm fine," Anna was nervous, but trying to sound strong. "I think it'll need a few stitches though Nate," she added apologetically.

Nathan and Fred exchanged a sideways glance. "Seven is a struggle to keep pinned down under my kinesis, even with my full concentration," Nathan said, reminding us all that there were many layers of defence that Bella's family could utilise. Nathan could move things with his mind. He could shatter a vampire. How good and precise was his control exactly? It couldn't have been perfect or his gift would've been the only protection they needed.

"Honestly, everyone has good control at the moment," Renesmee reassured them. "I think you can safely help Anna, Nathan."

"I could attend to Anna, if you'd let me," Carlisle offered. Anna looked positively terrified at this prospect, so he felt compelled to add. "I've been practising medicine for many years, you'd be in no danger from me."

"Thank you for the offer," Anna said shakily, but with a small polite smile at Carlisle, "but I'd rather Nathan helped me."

"And how many medical degrees does Nathan have?" Rosalie asked scathingly.

"Just the one," Nathan answered without hesitation and we all gaped at him in astonishment. It seemed impossible that a vampire hybrid that had been brought up in Volterra, surrounded by the Volturi, would have any interest in learning how to treat sick humans.

"You've studied medicine?" Carlisle asked with elated curiosity. He was genuinely excited implications this had with regards to what the hybrids were capable of and the possibility that maybe our families had more in common than he had hoped. Nathan raised his eyebrows both in challenge and in conformation.

"Even so, Carlisle has been practicing medicine for more than two hundred years," Rosalie retorted, undeterred. "I'm sure he's far more qualified than _him _to tend to her." I wished that Rosalie were anywhere but here. Her attitude was poisonous and she was hurting our chances of salvaging this situation.

"Nathan has saved my life more than once and is more than capable of stitching up such a simple injury," Anna bristled. You had to hand it to Rose. She was capable of being so annoying and nasty in her present state of mind, that she could irritate a human to challenge her in a room full of vampires. But of course there was no way she was going to let that pass.

"What is it with clumsy humans that seem drawn to covens of vampires," she sneered. "Surely you must see how ridiculous you are in comparison!"

Anna actually laughed at her. "You don't know anything," she countered. "If anyone is ridiculous it's you!"

Rosalie was beyond furious at being spoken to that way and especially at being laughed at. She took a threatening step towards Anna and I marvelled at her stupidity. Her temper was a liability and our family was no longer in a position to protect her from it.

At that exact moment, someone else came through the door. _Doesn't anyone ever knock in this place? _I wondered, exasperated. The last thing this situation needed was more people in it.

The young man who entered looked about fifteen or sixteen human years old. But he wasn't human, he was a hybrid. They were easily identifiable to me now I knew of their existence. Marked out by their racing heartbeats and fluid movements, which were too graceful to be human. He had light brown hair and eyes and was average height and build. There was nothing distinguishable about him. He would be considered handsome among humans, I was sure, but in this company he blended in seamlessly. As he processed the scene in front of him, his expression shifted from friendly and carefree to concerned and then to absolutely livid as he looked at Rose's aggressive stance. One moment he was standing framed in the doorway then, impossibly, in the same instant he was nose to nose with Rose.

"Back away, Bitch," he snarled. Rosalie was so startled that she actually did stumble back a few steps. She was furious with herself for showing such weakness, but as she made to close the gap again she was glued in place. She had Nathan's full attention and it was obvious he was using his gift to hold her still.

Rosalie glared at both of them, hissing, but they were both unimpressed by her threatening stare. The newcomer was struggling to gain control of his temper. Renesmee stepped forward and touched his arm.

"It was just an accident that got out of hand, Daniel," she told him gently and I wondered if she were showing him the chain of events using her thoughts. "Everything is under control now." And he was calmed by her. He drew in a deep breath.

"You have this one, Nate?" Daniel asked, his tone calmer.

"She's not getting anywhere near you or Anna, Danny," Nathan's reassurance was swift and sure. "She is completely free to leave though."

Daniel gave a last warning look at Rosalie before turning to the human.

"Are you alright, Mum?" he asked, his voice etched in concern.

_MUM? _We were all dumb founded. He couldn't possibly be her child. Even from the small amount of information we had managed to gather about hybrids since finding out about Renesmee, one thing had always been clear. The human mother always died. Bella had only been successfully changed because Aro, Caius, Marcus and Demetri, who were all skilled and old vampires, had managed to force so much venom into her system. Even then, her heart had barely managed to keep pumping. How had this human woman survived the delivery of a hybrid child?

Our disbelief and struggle to understand must have been evident. While we had been processing this impossible information, Anna had been reassuring Daniel that she was fine. It appeared as if she had overcome any anxiety the situation was causing her. I sensed that she did not want to appear anything but calm, now that her son was here. She turned to us.

"I told you Nathan had saved my life," she explained patiently. She had her injured hand firmly clamped in her other hand, and although it was clearly painful, she seemed to be doing a good job of ignoring it. "He and Ness delivered Daniel." You could hear the pride in her voice as she announced this. "After that, I'm sure that stitching up my hand will be no trouble for him at all," she paused before continuing, "I know that the scent of my blood must be painful for you all. Perhaps you could wait outside, I'm sure it won't be long."

"So we're being thrown out?" Rose demanded and I winced.

"Rose, surely you can see that's the wisest thing for us to do right now," Esme reasoned, trying unsuccessfully to diffuse some of Rosalie's antagonism. Unfortunately in Rose's mind we were all ganging up on her, worse even, she thought that we were siding with the 'enemy'. She was defensive and hostile, lashing out in her frustration. As she was unable to move forward to vent her anger where it was really directed. She turned on Esme.

"That is enough Rosalie," Carlisle intervened immediately, placing himself between them. "I think it's clear you have outstayed your welcome here and as the rest of us would like the opportunity of proving ourselves worthy of being included in their lives, I think it's best if you go back to the castle." There was no way that Rose could misinterpret Carlisle's words as a request. His tone conveyed that he would tolerate nothing short of absolute compliance.

Rosalie drew herself up tall, trying to gather together some dignity to exit with.

"Come on, Emmett," she demanded. Emmett hesitated. He wanted to stay. "Emmett McCarty, if you don't come with me right now, your life will not be worth living." Emmett looked resigned as he followed her. She stalked from the house, a despondent Emmett in her wake.

As Rose left, there was a slight diffusion of the atmosphere, although the tension was still thick and the silence was beyond awkward. The scent of human blood still hung in the air, riling us up and requiring a fair amount of our attention just to ignore it. No one really knew what to do for the best.

My family were embarrassed by Rosalie's behaviour. They were concerned by any implications of our next decision. If we left would that be considered a sign of weakness? Would we be allowed to come back today? Later in the week? Ever?

Nathan, Danny and Fred were still aggressively postured to defend the human, Anna. Despite Renesmee's reassurances of our control, they did not appear to trust us at all. Bella and Renesmee both looked anxious and thoughtful. Bella took Renesmee's hand and this seemed to calm them both and they became more thoughtful and less anxious. I felt the very familiar frustration of being desperate to know what Bella was thinking. Expect now that burning curiosity included Renesmee as well.

The thing that finally broke the tension, was completely unexpected.

A shuffling sound drew all of our attention to the opening of an internal hallway we had paid little attention to until now.

Jaden, the little boy who had been in the courtyard with Nathan the previous day, was coming towards us. His progress was hampered by a large black leather bag that he was carrying. I got the impression that it wasn't that it was too heavy that was the problem, more that it was cumbersome, matching him in size and he was almost juggling it, straining to look round it to see where he was going. As he got closer I saw that his eyes were heavy with sleep and that he was squinting in the brightness of the room.

"I smelled Auntie Anna was bleeding and I thought you'd need this Nate," he said, concern and sleep slurring his words. Then his eyes popped and he dropped the bag as he took in the full impact of what was happening in his living room.

His surprise was like a catalyst that rearranged the scene before us. Everyone seemed momentarily focused on not alarming him.

"Thank you, Sweetie," Anna told him, seating herself at the table. "It's just a little cut and Nathan is about to make it better for me." Danny and Fred immediately gathered around her protectively but no longer projecting aggression.

Nathan gave Jaden a grin, snagging the bag from his feet and ruffling his hair. "Thanks, Little Man."

Bella scooped Jaden into her arms and planted a sloppy kiss on the side of his head, "Sorry we woke you Jaden," she spoke softly in his ear, "are you still tired?"

He nodded, rubbing his eyes and yawning widely. Bella smiled indulgently at him. "I'll settle you back down."

Esme was watching Bella and Jaden in awed silence. It was the first time she had seen him and she was already besotted. Her mind drew immediate comparisons to the son she had lost and she felt an instant connection to him, almost as though she loved him already. It was so different to the reaction Rosalie would have had. Esme did not feel even the slightest envy for Bella, she was simply happy, proud and relieved that Bella had found a family that deserved her.

As Bella carried Jaden away, his head was nestled into her neck, but he suddenly looked up, peering towards us over Bella's shoulder as if he were looking for something. When his eyes focused on Esme's face, he gave her a shy but dazzling smile and I think she actually melted. I glanced at her to check she wasn't a pool of vampire on the floor. She wasn't and her own smile was beaming.

"I'm sorry if we've made this situation more difficult or awkward," she said suddenly and sincerely. "You obviously have everything under control, we'll go back to the castle and we really hope we'll hear from you soon." She began ushering us towards the door, being careful to keep us against the wall and moving slowly so we were as non-threatening as possible.

"Wait," Renesmee called. "If you go out of the door on the left, you can wait in the garden if you like. If you're not in a hurry to leave that is."

"Thank you, Renesmee, that's very kind and we accept gladly," Esme said, relieved that Renesmee seemed anxious to spend more time with us.

We took the door Renesmee suggested which led out into a quaint garden. The back of Bella's house could not have been more different to the front and it was much more what I would've guessed she'd choose. Simple, friendly and unimposing. All of the others were mentally commenting on the contrast as well. We gathered in silence in the shade of a group of trees.

Jasper and I gravitated towards Esme. She was thinking about Jaden and her thoughts and emotions were pure and kind and generally delightful to behold. They were like a drug to Jasper and me. After so long surrounded by negativity, the loveliness Esme was emitting was addictive.

We waited impatiently. Well actually that was just me. Everyone else was patient. I was desperate to know it all. So many hints and brief glimpses into Bella and Renesmee's life, but nothing comprehensive. I needed to know more.

We could all feel a sensation of being watched, but saw nothing when we looked around, until a quick movement drew our attention to a window on the top floor of the house. Jaden was watching us curiously. He seemed embarrassed to be caught staring, so Esme offered him a reassuring smile and his face lit up.

Then he climbed on to the window sill and jumped out.

If we had had beating hearts, they would have stopped.

"No," Esme squeaked, running towards him. She had only made it a few steps, when he landed gracefully on to the ground and we all sagged in relief. Of course he could safely jump that far. Of course he was fine.

He made slow progress towards us. Shy, hesitant, but overwhelmingly curious.

He did not take his eyes off Esme. He seemed drawn to her somehow. She smiled encouragingly at him.

"I'm Jaden," he stated, when he was standing right in front of her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jaden. I'm Esme and this is some of my family. Carlisle, Edward, Alice and Jasper." He barely acknowledged us, but reached his hand out towards Esme and drew a circle around the socket of her eye, cocking his own head to one side.

None of us were surprised by his fixation with Esme's eyes. Gold eyes stood out when you were used to seeing red.

Esme struggled to find the words to reassure him that the difference was nothing to be worried about. She didn't want to seem judgemental about their diet or even to think about this innocent little boy feeding on people.

"My eyes must seem strange to you, little one," she started. But he was confused and interrupted her immediately.

"Your eyes aren't strange, they're just like Mummy's," he told us, resolutely.

No one contradicted him, but it was hard to believe where he found the similarity. Maybe in their kindness or emotion.

"You don't believe me!" he accused, sounding hurt.

"It's not that, sweetheart, it's just that we know your Mummy's eyes are red, so it just sounded a little…"

"Mummy doesn't drink from humans!" he interrupted again, turning his nose up in disgust. None of us knew how to respond to that. We had all seen Bella's ruby eyes after she hunted. "You still don't believe me!" he accused again, although this time he was more irritated than hurt.

How could he be so sure we didn't believe him? We all had our best vampire poker faces on and they should have given nothing away. Was it possible he was right? Esme was moved by his insistence and so was Alice. But we all wondered, if it were the case, why would she pretend otherwise? I found myself wishing it were true. If Bella did feed from animals, then she was so much more like the girl I had abandoned in Forks. I hadn't destroyed her as completely as I'd feared.

Then somehow we all knew it was true. Bella didn't drink from humans. She hunted animals.

Jaden was alerted to the arrival of Bella and Renesmee first. They came out through the back door of the house and froze, absolutely horrified.

Jaden ran to them chanting, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I know I'm supposed to use the door, not the window, but I wanted to see the pretty lady with the beautiful mind."

Something told me that Jaden jumping from the window was not what Bella and Renesmee were so distressed about.

Renesmee caught my eye and the explanation unfolded into my mind.

It was absolutely forbidden that anyone outside of the Volturi know that there were members of the family and the Elite Guard that did not keep to the conventional diet. Aro was especially sensitive about this. He believed it would be seen as a sign of weakness and that it would undermine the respect that the Volturi inspired.

In the first days after Bella's change, when she had flatly refused to feed from humans, or to allow Renesmee to, Aro had been furious, but neither would yield. Aro knew there was another way and reluctantly had allowed Bella to hunt in the forest. He knew from his old friendship with Carlisle the effect this would eventually have on Bella's eye colour. He had immediately begun searching for ways to conceal them.

They had invested in, then spent years perfecting, contact lenses that would change glittering gold to ruby red. Bella preferred not to wear them when she was out with the Guard as they affected her vision, were uncomfortable and easily dissolved by the venomous fluid in her eyes. She would prepare for excursions by not feeding, so that her eyes were black and would draw no attention. Aro let this slide, but insisted that during any formal council Bella be well fed and wearing lenses.

It was still amazing to me that Renesmee could just impart this knowledge to me and from quite a distance too. I even knew why she was so horrified. Renesmee had believed that a vote on our punishment on the initial charge of flouting the secrecy laws would have gone in our favour, now that both she and Bella had intended to vote in our defence.

But now, with this new knowledge that we had accidentally uncovered…

I felt it clearly; she could no longer envision a situation where Aro and his brothers did not demand that we pay for our original indiscretion with our lives. This Volturi secret was sacrosanct to them and they always did everything in their power to protect it.

From the look on her face, Bella had come to the same conclusion as Renesmee. Our existence was hanging in the balance once again. Had we ever really been out of danger?

**xXx**

**Wow…I can't believe I did it to you again! I am going to do everything in my power to get the next chapter to you as soon as I can.**

**Please review…every one I get makes me more happy than you can possibly imagine and I really love to know what you think about how this story is progressing. Am I still keeping you interested? What do you think of the new characters? Too much?**

**xXx**

**I wrote a short story for the Canon Tour a while ago and now the contest is over, it's on my profile. I was so happy with how it turned out and I really hope you'll like it too. It's called Sweet Madness and it's an Alice AU. You will make my day if you read it and especially if you review!**

**Love Kay x**


	17. 16: Too much that time cannot erase

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN: Thank you so much to everyone who reads, favourites and alerts this story, I'm so grateful. If you review you make me happier than you can imagine, so a huge thank you to you, especially to those of you who review every chapter & haven't given up on me!**

**The end of this chapter is for madnessdownunder2, who is always the first to review and has been asking me about something for a while.**

**TheaJ1 & OrAreWeDancers beta'd this chapter for me, thank you ladies for your support and encouragement, I love you both!**

After the last chapter I think I lost some of you and you were wondering why the Volturi couldn't give the Cullens a break and why they would be upset that the Cullens knew Bella drinks animal blood. So here's Aro to let you know exactly how angry he is with the Cullens and why!

**16: Too much that time cannot erase**

**AroPOV**

We were in my largest study and the silence was charged. Everyone was waiting on my decision but I could not rush my judgement. We would all have to live with the consequences of a rash choice for an infinitely long time.

I could feel my simmering fury and I was trying to keep it in check, but it was proving very challenging. My desire for retribution was all consuming, but it was warring with the need to protect my family. But how to do that? There was no simple solution to this dilemma.

I looked around at my closest family. Isabella, Renesmee, Marcus and Caius. The only person more important to me than them was Sulpicia. In this room were some of the people I loved the most, but they were also the most powerful and influential in our world. I could not allow either of those things to change.

Bella was standing straight, her face impassive, but I knew her well enough to know this was just a mask she was projecting. She cared about the outcome of this verdict so much more than she was letting on. Renesmee was less able to hide her concern. She was shifting from foot to foot, with her eyes closed biting her lip. Marcus and Caius were patient, as was befitting their age. They were in no rush for me to make my choice.

This would be quite possibly one of the hardest decisions I had ever had to make.

If I let the Cullens live through this day, their continued existence was a risk to our power. If I did not, then I would risk tearing my family apart.

The Cullens deserved to be punished. They had flouted the most fundamental rule of the Volturi, leaving a human alive who knew far too much. It really did not matter what their intentions were for doing it. It was a flagrant disregard of the law. They had known that Bella knew much more than was permitted about us, but had left her alone, unsupervised, in the human world. There were many ways that she could have exposed us. We were all lucky that even scorned in love as she had been, she still remained trustworthy and silent. I could imagine that many other women who had been rejected in such a way as Bella had, would have chosen to seek revenge by disclosing information, or at the very least sought solace and comfort by confiding in friends. From the first moment that Bella had stumbled into my castle, I had been determined to find the vampire responsible for her knowledge and punish them as an example to others. To not do so would set a precedent that I did not want. We would appear weak and spineless, feebly allowing broken laws to go unpunished.

The Cullens were also a threat to us in other ways. They held powers that made them the only coven formidable enough to challenge us. Now, in addition to everything else, they had restricted information about us. Information that could potentially undermine and erode our influence.

I could possibly reconcile all of that and trust in my daughter's judgement that they in turn could be trusted. But I still wanted them to pay for the way they had treated her. Just thinking about how they had hurt and broken her made by venom boil! It was irrational I knew. I had done so much worse to many, many humans without a moment's hesitation or regret. But that was the nature of family, that if something happened to one of them, you took it personally.

Everyone else had cast their vote. I was unsurprised by Bella and Renesmee's votes, that the Cullens should be spared. Caius' vote was also to be expected; he wanted them gone, in the forever and permanent sense. But Marcus' vote had come as a huge shock to me. I had expected him to side with Bella and Renesmee, as he often did, and in some ways that would have been easier for me. But he had not. He told us that he trusted Bella's judgement on everything but this. He did not believe that Bella and Renesmee could be impartial and he thought that the only person in a position to make a fair decision was me. His vote would match mine. The Cullens' fate rested with me.

Marcus' trust weighed heavily on me. I did not deserve it and the weight of my guilt kept pulling me into my own private hell of memories. It was very fortunate for me that Renesmee was so respectful of my privacy. There were things locked in my mind that had the power to destroy both the family and the hierarchy of power. I had been careful to keep them buried in the recesses of my mind, even when I was linked with my favourite Granddaughter, but today I could not avoid them.

I wished I could go back in time or, at the very least, erase my memory. But I couldn't and it was important that I didn't make the same mistake again. I deserved to burn in my misery for what I had allowed to happen, and I did. Frequently.

Didyme.

My beloved sister and Marcus' mate.

Gone forever.

Such a dreadful miscalculation on my part.

Over two thousand years had passed since she was destroyed, but there wasn't a single day gone by that I didn't think about her.

That day I had been so very angry with her. We had fought, furiously at first, but then she used her gift to bend my will and I relented to her as I always had. She was planning on leaving me. On taking Marcus with her. At that time we were a strong coven, but with no ruling influence over the vampire world. I had plans. Plans to overthrow the vampires that would become known as the Romanian Coven and to restore order from chaos with my brothers at my side. But to lose two such strong gifts, would rock our foundations and jeopardise what I was working towards. She had laughed at my arguments. You can call on us if you need us, she had tried to reassure me. You will manage very well without us, she had insisted. They needed some time alone, she informed me. I was bitter and jealous of Marcus, stealing my sister from me and fearful of Didyme taking Marcus from me. But I could not feel any of those things in her presence. The aura of happiness that she projected could negate any negative emotion. But the effect did not last. As soon as I was out of her presence, my fury at the influence she had over me intensified.

I decided I needed some distance from them both so that I could think clearly and plan how to deal with their imminent abandonment. I had donned my cloak and swept into the nearest town in stealth.

Even in the crowded streets on market day, hidden in the shadows of the high walls and shrouded by my robes, I could sense the unfamiliar vampire. I was paranoid and vigilant and he was careless and nervous. Without him even registering my proximity, I lightly brushed his hand in the crowd. His intentions were immediately apparent. He was indeed a Romanian assassin. I had not been careful enough when recruiting to my cause and the Romanians had heard of my growing dissention. They wanted to stop us before our threat escalated. But this assassin's target was not me, or Caius or Marcus; it was Didyme. They intended to bring us down by culling our weakest, yet most revered, coven member.

My mind was in shock, reeling from the intrusion. But I could have stopped him in that moment. I did not though, I let his pass. I stood, stock still. Analysing. Wondering if maybe this was the solution to my problems. The timing was terrible. On any other day his head would have been in my hands just for the thought of hurting Didyme alone. But that day my fury and false sense of betrayal had made me hesitate too long. If I had raised the alarm she would still be with us today.

It was only minutes before I made the decision that should have been immediately obvious to me. To protect my family. But I was too late. When I returned to our lair at a run, Marcus' keening was already echoing for miles around. I found him in close proximity to two separate pyres. Marcus was staring sightlessly into one of them, his grief pouring off him in waves of emotion and sound. My grief for my sister was powerful and genuine, that some of the responsibility for her death was my own this just made me feel the pain more desperately.

Days passed, just existing in vigil and grief.

Eventually Marcus addressed me.

"It was them, Aro." His voice was a monotone, devoid of emotion, but his eyes burned with fiery fury. "We should have listened to you all along. They have taken her from me. I saw his ties to them and it is not enough that he is gone. I will not rest until every member of that coven is dust." The steel in his voice was unmistakable and his rage unparalleled. Over the years his fury gave way to detachment, but his purpose and devotion did not change. It took us over a millennium, but we eventually overthrew the Romanian Coven and rose to power. Now only two of the coven remained alive; Stephen and Vladimir. Once they were gone, Marcus had intended to leave this world as well. But since Bella had burst into our lives, his misery had begun to slowly ebb away and gradually Marcus, the great vampire and my cherished brother was returning.

The consequences of the decision we had to make here today were far reaching and would impact greatly on Marcus as well. I was loathe to let him down again. We had both paid dearly for my past stupidity, even if he did not know it.

I had the benefit of many extra centuries of knowledge and experience since I betrayed my family in the pursuit of power. It took me a long while to see that I would have been more powerful than ever if I had maintained my family intact. I would have been able to achieve my goal so much more quickly. That it wasn't proximity, but love and loyalty that was important. Love transcends power. I had foolishly thrown away one of my greatest weapons and it deepened my grief still further when I had eventually realised it.

The decision I had to reach today had the potential to be just as pivotal.

I contemplated voting with Bella and Renessmee, but the idea was abhorrent to me.

If I set the Cullens free, they could disclose damaging information about the Volturi.

If I set them free, they would go unpunished for the pain they had caused Bella and for the laws they had broken.

If I set them free, they were incredibly gifted and would be yet another powerful coven that Bella and Renesmee would be able to influence independently to me.

But if I did not set them free, I would jeopardise the relationships within my family.

The first time the Cullens had been in front of me, I was prepared to end them. Bella knew and understood this. She did the only thing that could have saved them. When I had the privilege of finally reading her, it was not what I had expected at all. Despite everything they had put her through, she still loved them. She was hurt and felt betrayed by their abandonment and believed they cared nothing for her, but that had done nothing to diminish the way she felt about them. If I ordered their deaths, she would have been devastated and would have never forgiven me. Now, even after such a short period of time, Renesmee had developed feelings for them as well.

I could see no way around it, I would have to free them. If I did not, I could lose Bella and Renesmee. I could not live with that.

xxx

We entered The Throne Room to take our places for the verdict. It was a closed council, so the Eminent Guard were not present. Renata, Felix, Jane, Alec, Fred and Demetri were waiting patiently for us. Alec and Renata were indifferent. Jane looked gleefully expectant, clearly hoping I would give the order to annihilate the Cullens. Felix looked anxious. I wondered at this and made a mental note to read him for the reason later. Fred and Demetri were focused on Bella and Renesmee. Demetri's eyes were glowing red. He had obviously hunted recently and I marvelled at the quality of the contacts he was wearing. Even though I knew his true eye colour was gold, I could barely see a trace of the lenses that disguised them. The contact lenses should be good. We had put a lot of money and resources into their development.

I knew that my unwillingness to acknowledge their diet to anyone outside the Guard was frustrating to Bella's family and we had debated at length the merits of silence and the potential influential benefits of disclosure. But I would not be swayed. It was vital that this secret was protected. The vampire world was not ready to consider an alternative lifestyle. I had touched the hands of many vampires who were aware of the diet the Cullens and the Denalis had chosen. Some were tolerant, but most were incredulous. They did not trust them. They were ridiculed and looked down on. Seen as weak and eccentric. I did not see it that way. I understood the strength it took to resist our true natures. But I was educated and had seen so much over the centuries that my tolerance for the quirky was high. Most of the nomadic vampires and many of the smaller covens were uneducated and instinct led.

Of course it was laughable to even consider any of them a direct threat to us. If any were to challenge us they would be easily destroyed. But our true enemy was discontent and unrest. It would be hard to quash and would wear away at our position. Vampires would start to lose faith in us and their fear would be diminished. They would follow our rules less and less dedicatedly. Eventually we would fall, not from a direct attack but from the erosion of the foundation of our power and principles. That is why it was imperative that no one outside the Volturi knew that half of the family and Elite Guard did not follow conventional hunting patterns.

By allowing the Cullens to live, I was about to add a large group of vampires, that had already proved they could not be trusted, to the list of vampires aware of this secret. I wished there were another way.

I looked at Alfred. His eyes were still black, when strictly speaking he should have hunted before council. But what rules weren't we breaking now? I wondered if Fred could be my secret weapon. He must want the Cullens destroyed as much as I did. Especially Edward. His influence on Bella and Renesmee was extensive. But even as the thought entered my mind, I dismissed it. Fred's loyalty to me was completely dependant on Bella's loyalty. Despite the fact that they weren't mated, his love for her was powerful. He would protect her, both physically and emotionally, with everything he had.

The Taylor-Swan branch of the Volturi were the most powerful. No one had ever said it out loud but everyone knew it to be true. Alfred and Isabella. Alone their gifts were formidable, but together they were invincible. Bella on her own was a strong fighter, but her gift only gave her a real advantage against another gifted vampire and only if they tried to use their gift against her. Felix had proved time and again her vulnerability. In a one-on-one fight with him, he always defeated her. Fred's invisibility was useful. Without Bella though, he could only cloak himself and was still susceptible to mental gifts, such as Jane's and most likely Edward's. When Fred and Bella linked their gifts though…she allowed him to project his invisibility as she projected her shield. They could offer anyone they wished both invisibility and shielding.

Then there were the hybrids. They were all incredibly gifted and even though they were physically weaker than full vampires it did not matter. Their mental gifts meant that they were equally matched. Telekinesis, teleportation, two-way telepathy, empathy, influence. It was fascinating how wide ranging and powerful their individual gifts were. They were truly the evolution, not the dilution, of our species. But again, there were very few vampires ready to accept this. I found them fascinating. I wished I had been able to keep some of them closest to me, but it had proved impossible. They were volatile and difficult to control. In all honesty, if it had not been for Bella, Fred and Renesmee's ability to tame them, I would have had to destroy them, as I had had to have the immortal children destroyed. Now, I loved them all. I considered them my Grandchildren and I would always protect them. But their love and loyalty was primarily to Bella and Fred. This was insignificant while Bella was a member of the Volturi family, but if I were to lose her…I would lose them all.

I could not risk losing any of them and unfortunately that meant saving the Cullens.

But I did not have to like it.

xxx

I sent Alec for them. They entered with an odd mixture of contrition and defiance. I could tell that they were prepared to fight if the verdict did not go their way. They were by far the most intelligent coven, aside from my own, that I had ever come across. They were hoping for a peaceful resolution and cleverly trying to maximise the chance of that, but I was convinced that they had no intention of going down without a fight, if it came to that. Two of them were missing though; the blonde one and the big one. I understood that was because they had not been with the rest of the coven when Jaden had made his unfortunate revelation. It did not matter to me that they were not there.

My gaze fell on Carlisle and I could feel my temper rising. I blamed him, more than any of them. He was the patriarch of the coven and the rest of them were so young in comparison. He should have known better. I had trusted him and considered him a friend. His time spent with the Volturi had affected me profoundly and started me along a new way of thinking. I had respected his compassion and it had re-ignited mine, when I thought it had been long lost. Yet the way he had treated Bella was shameful. I had seen first-hand through her memories, the effect that their last phone conversation had had on her. His rejection had been almost as devastating to her as Edward's had been. When he had dismissed her like that he had betrayed both Bella and the Volturi Law. Yet she still considered him a father figure in her life. She still loved and respected him. He had even managed to influence her in her Vampire life. She had chosen to follow his diet after all. I felt let down and jealous at the same time. Such a petty emotional response, but I could not deny to myself the way I felt.

The need for retribution was burning once more and I wasn't sure that I would be able to choke out their pardon.

A potential solution blossomed from nowhere. What if Carlisle were to accept the punishment on behalf of his coven? I knew that he would, if I presented him with the option of sacrificing his life to spare his family. It would satisfy my need for retribution for Bella and punishment for the broken law.

But what would Bella do? Would she go so far as to challenge me in council to protect Carlisle, even after what he had said to her?

If she did, the Volturi might crumble and I could lose everything.

Was it worth the risk?

And could I really end the man I had once considered as close as family? If I did would my betrayal of him far outweigh his betrayal of me?

**AN: TheaJ1 thinks you're going to hate me for that ending, so I may have to go into hiding!**

**Aro & I are accepting appeals for leniency for the next two weeks while I'm writing the next chapter. If you really can't wait that long, let me know & I will happily hint as to which way this will go!**

**Reviews are amazing, whether they're good or bad, each one makes me so very happy. Please, please, please review and let me know what you think!**


	18. 17: Tell

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world**

**AN**: So here it is…finally! I am so very sorry for making you wait so much longer than I said I would. I promise I had every intention of resolving Carlisle's fate quickly, but as it turns out that was a huge challenge and I was hampered by a variety of mini personal dramas, culminating in the sad demise of my laptop.

A huge thank you to all of you who are still with me. I love to know you are reading and getting a review still makes me so excited. A special thank you to those who have been in touch, telling me to get a move on. To my readers who have been with me from the beginning and keep coming back to review despite my erratic updating…you are so fantastic! Some of you will not like this turn of events and I would apologise, but this is the way it was always meant to be. As always, fell free to let me know exactly what you think of me!

My ultra amazing beta is TheaJ1 and my constant support is OrAreWeDancers. Also thank you to lulabele98 for coming to my rescue in a crisis of grammar and then going above and beyond the call of duty by beta'ing a portion of this chapter.

But you probably want me to just stop rambling and tell you what Aro is going to do….

**xXx**

**17. Tell**

Aro was still, staring intently at Carlisle. His face was impassive, but calculating fury was blazing in his eyes.

The silence was somehow both noisy and heavy.

I felt my frustration flare yet again. How many times had I cursed my gift? Wished for mental silence? Right now I would give anything for a glimpse into any Volturi mind. I had become so conditioned by over a century of telepathy, that the forewarning insight into the thoughts of others gave me was now key to my rational decision-making. That possibly explained why my decisions regarding Bella had always been so terrible. The silent minds of the Volturi had thrown me so far off balance that I worried I was doomed to repeat my mistakes of the past. I sought solace in my family's minds, actually revelling in the mental chatter that masked the silence of the minds I really wanted to hear.

Carlisle and Esme both felt on some level they deserved whatever punishment came their way. Their minds were similarly conflicted, wanting to protect each other and their families but at the same time needing some resolution to the guilt that was consuming them. They were caught up in the 'what ifs' of past choices, wishing for a united family that had once been within reach, but now seemed lost.

Contrastingly, Jasper and Alice were steeling themselves for a fight. There was absolutely no way either of them would just accept a death sentence. Jasper was strategizing. He thought that even if Aro ordered our execution, Bella would not support him. He was hoping Bella would, at the very least, lower her shield to give us a fighting chance. Without the protection of her shield, the sides would be much more evenly matched. He didn't think she'd object to any harm coming to Felix or Jane. I wondered how that would go. Was there any chance Bella would turn on the Volturi? Jasper knew that the odds against that were slim, but the only way we would stand any real chance of surviving a fight was if Bella were to defect completely and shield us instead of them. But it was obvious how much she cared for some of these vampires. And there was no way in the world she would turn on Fred, he was absolutely convinced of that. What would Fred do? If it came down to it, would he protect us if that's what Bella and Renesmee wanted?

Aro slowly pulled himself into standing. His presence dominated the chamber and his authority was absolute. He was formidable and the reason he had maintained his dominance over the vampire world for centuries was blindingly obvious in that moment.

"Carlisle Cullen," his voice cut through the charged silence, "You and your coven are guilty of breaching our most fundamental law," he paused and then took a step towards Carlisle. We all braced ourselves, preparing to spring to his defence. Despite the fact that our changes in posture had been very slight, they had not gone unnoticed by any of the Guard. We were not prepared to quietly succumb to their verdict; we were going to fight for our survival. And now they knew it.

Aro chose to ignore it though, and continued, addressing Carlisle personally and directly. "There are no words that can express how profoundly disappointed I am in you, my old friend," he said quietly and gravely. "I had so much respect for your compassion, choices and wisdom when you resided here with us. Your coven members are children compared to you and I, and you are responsible for them and their actions. How could you have allowed what transpired?"

"I accept full responsibility and I deeply regret it," Carlisle responded, equally as gravely.

"And will you accept the punishment on their behalf as well?" Aro pressed.

Esme gasped, her hands flying to cover her mouth as we all digested the implications of that question. Carlisle drew his shoulders back and straightened up. "I will," he answered without hesitation. His mind was saturated with relief. It was a much better outcome than he had hoped. His family would be unharmed, at least.

"No," I thundered, "I will not allow it!" Jasper, Alice and Esme were in complete agreement. They would not stand aside and let Carlisle sacrifice himself for us.

"Edward…" Carlisle began, mentally pleading for my silence.

"I am the one who is responsible," I interrupted him, "if anyone should accept the punishment, it's me." Aro frowned at me, but said nothing. He shot a fleeting glance at Bella, before turning his attention back to Carlisle.

"Have you anything to say in your defence?" he asked him, as if I had not spoken.

"No," Carlisle replied, "but I would like the opportunity to explain myself to Bella." Aro regarded him speculatively before retaking his seat and gesturing for him to continue. Carlisle took a few steps towards Bella and spoke softly, only for her, although we could all hear every word.

"I'm so very sorry, Bella. It is difficult for me to find the words to adequately explain, but I want to try. I hope that you will be able to understand that the last thing any of us wanted was to abandon you, but we felt we had no choice. If we had been aware of the complexity of the circumstances, our actions would have been vastly different. My deepest regret is not hearing you out when you called me for my help. I had no comprehension whatsoever of what you were going through, but that is no excuse for dismissing you that way.

"What I said was no reflection of how I was feeling. I was warring with myself, my concern for you battling with my fear for Edward. My clinical detachment in such moments of uncertainty is critical when I'm dealing with patients, but it was completely inappropriate to use such a tone and manner with you." Carlisle stopped, overcome with emotion and momentarily unable to continue. Bella was biting her lip, her composure had slipped and she simply looked overwhelmingly sad. I felt a compulsive pull to run and comfort her and it took a massive effort to remain still.

"When Edward came to us to say he was planning to leave you to protect you, we tried to reason with him. We knew the bond he had formed with you and that it would physically hurt him to be separated from you. In truth, we were so wrapped up in our concern for him, that we didn't consider the full implications of how it would affect you. In fact, most of us agreed with him. We felt that you were better off without us in your life. I don't think it occurred to any of us that you would feel the connection as intensely, and consequently the rejection as strongly, as Edward did until Renesmee showed us your memories. I can't begin to tell you how devastated we were when we realised." Carlisle paused and bowed his head attempting to gather his thoughts before continuing.

"In essence Bella, what we did was choose our son over you. I honestly believe that if you had spent even a little more time as part of our family, we might have loved you equally as much as we loved him, but at that point, he was our main concern. He was hurting and broken. We were worried that if we stayed in contact with you, as we dearly wanted to, then Edward would have never come back to us. He would've been haunted by the memories of you in our minds and stayed away forever, and we couldn't risk that. Alice and Emmett especially fought incredibly hard to sway my decision on that, but in the end they respected my wishes. And therefore, Aro is correct in placing the blame with me, and me alone.

"I agreed with Edward that although initially you might be heartbroken, given time you would move on with your human life. I expected that you would heal, but I knew that Edward would never stop mourning your absence. I was virtually panicked by the notion that he wouldn't be able to survive the pain and crushingly loneliness of eternity without you. He is my son and I have loved him since the moment I changed him.

"I think what I am trying to say is, there is nothing that I wouldn't do and, except for Esme, no one else that I wouldn't be prepared to sacrifice in order to protect my children."

A charged silence electrified the atmosphere as Carlisle slowly raised his head and surveyed the Volturi. He had the full and undivided attention of the entire room. "I wonder if any of you might feel the same way?" he asked somewhat contritely, but with a sliver of underlying defiance.

Aro and Bella seemed to be the most affected by his question. Bella had her hand over her silent heart and was tightly squeezing it into a fist. Aro turned to her and watched her intently for a moment. Realisation washed over his face and softened his features, causing his impassive mask to drop. "Isabella," he said quietly, and her eyes shot up to meet his, "I need a moment of your wisdom."

Bella took a deep breath and in tandem they rose from their seats, gracefully taking the few short steps that brought them close together. Aro held out his hand and Bella took it without hesitation. He tilted his head until his lips were practically touching her ear. His hushed, fast-paced murmuring was impossible to decipher and during the pauses when Bella was silently replying, I felt the now all too familiar jealousy. He was under her shield, hearing her thoughts. If only Bella could put that same trust in me. I longed to deserve it. Would I get the chance to earn it back?

Their inaudible conversation was short, but intense and I almost jumped when Bella suddenly broke away and returned to her seat. Aro turned to face us. This decision was made, that much was clear, but what was it? Again I lamented my redundant gift.

"Cullen Coven," his voice rang out, slicing though the atmosphere and reinforcing his authority. "Despite your acknowledged flouncing of our ancient rules, the Volturi have graciously decided to be lenient," he momentarily paused and we all regarded him distrustfully, unable to believe that it could possibly be that simple. And it wasn't. "However…you have uncovered sensitive information and we do require you pledge your allegiance to the Volturi."

His words had different effects across the room. Bella actually seemed to deflate slightly, but relief was evident on her face. Renesmee, Demetri, Fred and even Felix also seemed relieved. Conversely Caius was sullen and Jane was livid. We were all a little confused. What exactly did that mean?

"You want us to serve in the Guard?" Alice sought clarification. She was still subdued by her ineffective gift, unused to not having all the answers. Her question had a profound effect on the atmosphere of the room. The tension that had become almost crushing, shattered.

Aro threw back his head and laughed, composed himself momentarily before dissolving in laughter again. Many of the Guard were also suppressing smiles; Aro shook his head disbelievingly. "Oh no, Alice," he corrected her, "I neither trust you nor need you enough for that. Allegiance is an entirely different thing. We require your absolute loyalty. You are free to continue your existences in whatever pattern you choose, but if we should contact you with a request, you are obliged to fulfil it. Also, if you bear witness or hear rumour of any breaking of our laws or conspiracy against us then you are required to report it to us, even if that means you are betraying the confidence of a friend. In addition, it is absolutely paramount that you do not divulge any Volturi secrets to anyone. The slightest deviation from these conditions will be instantly punishable by destruction. Without trial and without appeal."

"And if we don't agree to that?" Alice asked, petulantly. She was unused to being ridiculed and to having ask what consequences would be, the strain of our balancing act beginning to show.

Aro replied in silence, a dark smile lifting the corners of his mouth. Jasper and I instantly jumped to the same conclusion. He wanted us to refuse. With that chilling realisation, we huddled our family together and a wordless discussion began, facilitated by mine and Jasper's gifts.

"Well?" Aro prompted, after only a few moments.

"We will do as you ask," Esme answered resolutely.

"Very well," Aro accepted. "There is no set pledge or ceremony but you do have to _mean_ it. Will you remain loyal to the Volturi, above all others; keeping us informed of pertinent intelligence and protecting our secrets?"

We nodded in unison and we did mean it. We would do as Aro demanded, to protect our family, but also because we all loved Bella and Renesmee, and never wanted to hurt or betray them again. Aro turned expectantly to Marcus. Marcus deliberated surveyed each of us in turn and then inclined his head only once. That was enough apparently and all the assurance Aro needed.

"The other members of your coven will need to present themselves to Marcus before you leave," Aro dismissed us.

**xXx**

**AN:** I am going to be taking a short break form this story over Christmas. I love writing it and I will definitely be finishing it, but I have so much on over the holidays that I won't be able to write the next few pivotal chapters to the standard I want them if I rush and cut corners.

I really hope that you will come back to this story when I update it as soon as I can in the New Year.

If you need something to read between now and then, can I highly recommend:

**Lifelines **by **TheaJ1**

and

**The Walls of Dreaming **by **Her Mighty Ubergeekness**

Both of these stories are truly fantastic and wonderfully written AUs with strong characters and original plotlines.

Happy Holidays!

Love Kay x


	19. 18: I wish

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world**

**AN****: **Hello! I'm back…and you are too which makes me so unbelievably happy! Thank you so much for sticking with me and waiting so patiently. I'm so grateful to everyone who reads, reviews, alerts and favourites, you all brighten my day; thank you.

As always, this next chapter may be opinion-dividingly controversial! I hope you'll like it, but I'm looking forward to hearing what you think, good or bad. Since FFn has disabled its links on the profile pages, I've overhauled my blog to display my lovely banners and to put links to other stories as well. I have also put pictures of how Fred might look in so, if you're interested, come and have a look at them and let me if he's how you imagine. You can find it all at: .com

TheaJ1 and OrAreWeDancers did their beta-magic on this chapter. They are both wonderful. Also thank you to Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen for offering her pre-reading super-skills; it was so helpful to have her input and she always makes me smile. Thank you to eli-dunbigboot for being generally amazing and for her consistent and on-going support.

* * *

**18: I Wish**

I was left reeling. Aro's dismissal hung heavily in the air, his implication that he expected us to leave the castle as soon as possible absolutely clear. My family's thoughts were tinged with relief that we were going to avoid a Cullen bonfire, but deep regret at the impending loss of contact. They were also genuinely worried about me, concerned that I might act rashly and jeopardise the verdict so precariously tipped in our favour, but even more worried at how I'd cope with leaving if I did nothing at all to convince Aro to let us stay.

There was no way I could leave. But I couldn't do anything to risk my family's freedom either. I gestured for them to leave the room without me, but none of them moved and I was subjected to a cacophony of mental objections and arguments. I sent a spike of pleading, but determined emotion at Jasper, knowing he could sense everything else I was feeling as well. He was the most rational and would never risk Alice. He understood my position better than any of the others. The only way I would leave Volterra was carried out in ashes and I didn't want any of them to witness that, or worse, to get dragged down with me.

I was so relieved to hear Jasper's acquiescence to my wishes in his mind. He firmly gripped Alice by the elbow and led her away. Although protesting violently non-verbally, Alice did not outwardly object, instead choosing to trust Jasper's judgement. Jasper sent Carlisle and Esme a commanding look and a wave of compliance which caused them to follow him as well. He and I both knew he'd be hearing all about that unsanctioned use of his gift later. Just before the heavy wooden door closed behind them, Alice sent me one last mournful look.

I turned to face the Volturi again. Both Bella and Renesmee were looking very uncomfortable. Renesmee reached out with her gift, urging me to leave as well and reassuring me that she would talk to Aro. I could feel her concern for me, but instead of having her intended effect of pushing me to safety, it simply strengthened my resolve to make my stand now.

Aro looked curious, with an underlying hint of glee. I was under no illusion that he had been hoping all along for a way to rid himself of me permanently and I was only still alive because of his respect for Bella and Renesmee's wishes. He was anticipating that this might be his chance to act, should I now openly defy him. I did not want to put any more burden of responsibility for me on either of these women who I loved more than my own life.

"Aro," I said as politely as I could muster, "I would be immensely grateful if I could have a word with you alone." I'd surprised him with this request and he considered it carefully, before nodding in acceptance and indicating that I should follow him. Everyone, including myself, was surprised by him relenting to my request. I had been expecting him to refuse, or if anything at all, to send the others away. As we exited the room, stunned gazes followed our progress.

Aro moved swiftly and silently along the corridor, with Renata scurrying closely behind him and me bringing up the rear. He led me into a large, opulent study. It was grandiose and imposing. He took a seat in a large, padded green chair behind a huge desk. Renata stationed herself immediately behind him but slightly to the side. This was her post and it was clear that she rarely left it. I knew about Renata's physical shielding ability from Carlisle. I supposed this was as alone with Aro as I could ever hope to get.

Aro was studying me carefully, waiting. I'm not sure I had ever felt more intimidated. So much depended on this conversation, and I felt unsure how to proceed. Aro was enjoying my discomfort and did nothing to ease it, instead drumming his impatience on his desk, adding to my anxiety.

I impulsively decided to simply state the truth of the matter and start from there. "With respect Aro, I am physically incapable of leaving Volterra. My heart is bonded to Bella and Renesmee and I cannot distance myself from them," I blurted out.

"You managed to do so easily enough twenty years ago," Aro reminded me in a steely tone.

"Nothing about leaving Bella was easy and every second I was away from her was a struggle," I told him through gritted teeth. "The only reason I was able to do it was because I was convinced that that was what was best for her and that I was putting her needs above my own."

"And if you gone is still what's best for her? Will you leave then?" he goaded me, his voice still icy.

"Even if that were the case, I'm not sure that I have the strength to leave again," I murmured, suddenly ashamed. I felt as if Aro could see right through me, even without touching my hand. His stare was locked on me and his gaze was highly unnerving.

"She is better off without you and I will explain to you why. From the moment she arrived in the castle, it was clear that sadness penetrated her soul. She reminded me very much of Marcus and even Marcus could see the similarities. It was one of the reasons he felt so connected with her from the start. I now know that the cause of her misery was your abandonment of her. I have seen exactly how profoundly it affected her. She battled her despair for the sake of Renesmee, but still for the longest time she was holding back a part of herself. Once she met Alfred, I could finally feel her relaxing and gradually she settled into the love of her family. Before you arrived here she shone, but since your return I can feel her grief once again. " Aro's short speech was has honest and sincere as it was unexpected. How could I react to that?

"I am physically incapable of distancing myself from her again," I reiterated. "What if she feels that connection too? If she feels even a fraction of the way I do, she will feel the loss if I leave. I do not want her and Renesmee to think I have abandoned them a second time." Aro considered that for a moment and I wondered if there might be some truth to it. If I was wrong surely he would have be quick to tell me so.

"I simply will not allow you to hurt either of them any more than you already have. Bella's presence in our lives has been a resonating light. It bounces off everyone she comes into contact with, throwing brightness into even the darkest corners. I will not stand for you dimming it in any way. If you stay here, you are risking your life, because I will end you if any action you take hurts them even a little bit more."

"It is a risk I'm willing have to take. I cannot bear the thought of hurting them either and I have no life if I leave them anyway," I said quietly.

"I am disinclined to trust you, Edward. I despised you for what you put Bella and Renesmee through long before I met you. I have my own guilt for fuelling the difficulties they have faced regarding you and my lessons have taken a long time to learn."

"I can offer you proof that I speak only the truth." I was baffled why he had not taken evidence directly from my mind before now.

"There are memories locked in your head which will likely be detrimental to your survival if I were to see them." His response surprised me. It had not been what I was expecting him to say at all. "For example, you having sex with, and then abandoning my daughter," he clarified, sensing my confusion.

I shifted uncomfortably. Somehow I could not bring myself to think of Bella as Aro's daughter. I knew Bella's father and Charlie was the polar opposite of Aro. I wondered how he would react to knowing a millennium old, flamboyant vampire was trying to stake his claim on her. "There is little choice," I told him, after a moment. "I need for you to let me stay and I can see no other way forward."

Aro's eyes narrowed to slits. Begrudgingly he held out his hand for mine and he grimaced in distaste as I moved to take it. He did not hold it long and I wondered how much he had seen. I had observed him using his gift several times now and although the duration of contact had always varied, it had always been longer than our shared touch. Had he seen everything? Had he seen enough?

"I find it difficult to fathom how a vampire that is capable of reading minds at a distance can be so completely clueless about so many things," he told me and I bristled at the implications. "You are entirely wrong about all of us Edward. You see us simply an obstacle to your happiness. You are so self-righteous that you believe that because I drink from humans and not from animals, that I am incapable of truly understanding what love is.

"It is insulting, the way you see us. I do consider Bella to be my daughter, so surely as Carlisle considers you his son. You do not question his bond to you, in fact you embrace it and rely on it and yet you sneer at my bond with Bella. Furthermore, you scoff at my relationship with Renesmee. You do not consider her my family at all.

"I love that girl. She is my granddaughter in every sense of the term. I have held her in my arms and rocked her to sleep on countless occasions, I have played hide and seek with her through my castle, I have discussed her future and her choices with her. I know how she feels about her first kiss. I have tracked down and killed a man who behaved abhorrently towards her, who tried to harm her. I am part of her life, as she is part of mine.

"But even more importantly, she is not my only grandchild. I have eight and I love each and every one of them. You do not even know all of their names, and yet you have dismissed them so callously in your mind. Nathan, Daniel, Daisy, Michelle, Alfie, Jaden and Lucy. You understand nothing of their importance, not only to me, but to Bella and Renesmee as well. Your actions do not just affect Bella and Renesmee, Edward, and I have vowed to protect my family any way I can."

"I have tried to learn about Bella's new family…" I defended.

"Not true!" Aro corrected me. "Your thoughts have betrayed you. So far you are only going through the motions, pretending interest, because Renesmee asked you to. But you only actually want to know more about Bella and Renesmee and have yet to understand that you will never truly know them unless you accept their relationship with the others as well. They are a very close family. You are foolish to ignore that!"

I hung my head. I had been so sure that if Aro saw from my thoughts how much I loved Bella and Renesmee, his attitude would soften. It was another miscalculation on my part. "You must see how much I love them. I would never hurt them," I said quietly, but with urgent intensity.

"Edward, Edward, Edward!" Aro was exasperated with me and practically threw up his hands in despair. "You have always loved Bella, that much is clear to me now. It is one of the reasons I am still putting up with you. But what is not yet clear to you is that, even with the best of intentions and your profession to do everything for her own good, you have the power to devastate her life once again."

We stared at each other for a long moment, engaging in a silent battle of wills. Neither of us intended to back down and I could see no potential resolution.

Aro swiftly and suddenly raised his hand. I had no idea why, but Renata reacted instantly. She had retreated to the shadows and I had almost forgotten she was there, but Aro's gesture seemed to be an unspoken command and she sprung forward, so that she was standing directly behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder. Although Aro's gaze continued to rest on me, his stare was no longer intense and probing, but vacant and unseeing. It was almost as if he had left the room in spirit, his body remaining here unguarded and he was now exclusively relying on Renata's gift to protect him.

He hadn't dismissed me so I remained where I was, processing the conversation we had just had, but I was startled by the expressions flashing across Aro's face. While his attention was most definitely not in the room, it was clearly somewhere pleasant. It was fascinating to watch. Aro had always seemed pent up and stern and generally seething when he had been dealing with us, but now his features were relaxed and his expression open; it almost seemed as if a different man was seated in front of me now. Finally an indulgent smile lit his face and I was stunned, but then his focus snapped back to me and his features morphed back into the aggressive expression that I was much more familiar with.

"You and your family may stay with us for the time being," he ground out, almost choking on his words. I could not help but smile in relief and in retrospect, I probably should have moderated my reaction. "Do not deceive yourself that anything you have said, or that I have seen in you, contributed to that decision. It was Renesmee that swayed me and I firmly stand by my earlier warning. It is dangerous for you here. If you do anything more to upset Bella or any of my grandchildren, even inadvertently, I will destroy you. I will do anything to protect them, including going against their wishes and risking their eternal displeasure."

xXx

After Aro dismissed me, I didn't rush back to the guest wing my family inhabited. Aro had given me a lot to think about and I needed to do it in the privacy of my own mind, without the confusion that their thoughts would add. I knew they would be anxious for news, but I couldn't bring myself to immediately oblige.

Aro was right about so many things and it pained me to acknowledge so. I had been solely focused on Bella and Renesmee, considering everyone surrounding them an obstacle I had to overcome. Aro had pulled me up on that, told me with no uncertainty that Bella's new family was a part of her now. Breaking her away from them had never really been an option. But what other choice did I have. There was no place for me in her new family. I considered again that maybe the best thing for Bella and Renesmee was for me to leave them in peace. I had done it once before. I had left despite the pain it had caused me, because I considered her happiness paramount. _And look how that turned out,_ I sneered at myself. It was a moot point anyway. Although Bella's happiness had been a huge consideration, my main fear had been for her safety and her humanity. Since I was no longer a risk to either of those, I knew that leaving her vicinity was an impossibility for me now. I felt a pull to be near her that was unbreakable and completely irresistible. Even though it was painful to watch her happy life as an observer and especially to see her coupled with him, that pain was incomparable to the misery I had endured being permanently separated from her. Whatever tiny part of her life I was offered, I would take. But even as I resolved this, I knew I was lying to myself. I would always be looking for an opening back into a central role in her life again.

As I approached the guest wing, my family's thoughts were chaotic, conflicted and emotional. From the few thoughts I could single out from the melee, it seemed Rosalie had taken the news that we were free to go with enthusiastic determination and the revelation that I had privately challenged Aro to change his mind with furious incredulity.

_But Bella doesn't even want him…_her thoughts screamed even as the rest of the family tried to pacify her. Their reassurances were actually fuelling Rosalie's anger and I was already bristling against her poisonous thoughts before I even entered the room.

Everyone paused as I stepped forward.

"Well…" Alice demanded when I didn't immediately speak.

"Aro has agreed to let me remain in Volterra…and also any of you who wish to stay are free to do so as well."

Relieved smiles broke out, with one obvious exception.

"Oh, Edward," Esme swept me into her arms for the first hug I had had in what seemed like forever. "I'm so grateful I will get the chance to know them!"

"What did you say to him?" Rosalie asked, dangerously quietly. "From what I hear, we were about to escape with barely our lives. Why the drastic change in attitude?"

"It did take some convincing," I answered calmly, "It was actually Renesmee's influence that made all the difference. Aro claimed touching my hand had no bearing."

"WHAT?" Rosalie shrieked, "You let him take your hand?"

"I offered it to him," I corrected cautiously, finding it difficult to ascertain exactly what she found so offensive since her thoughts were so jumbled by her anger. "I had to prove my feelings to him," I justified, trying to explain the obvious.

"Not all of the thoughts in your head are yours to share," she spat. "You've given him access to our thoughts as well. How could you betray us like this?" I had not even considered this point of view. Had I really betrayed confidences? I had always been so careful about that in the past. Yet I supposed Rosalie made a good point. I held many secrets that weren't mine to divulge and by letting Aro into my head, I had given him access to so much more than my own personal thoughts. Although that was regretful, I knew I'd do it again if I needed to. Whatever it took, I would do.

"I'm sorry about that. It was not my intention," I said with some degree of honesty, "but it was the only way I could even hope to get Aro to consider things from my perspective."

"You're sorry? Really? You're always sorry! And you always think that you know best, even though your track record for making good decisions is appalling. All you ever think about is yourself!" Despite Rosalie's obvious anger, I couldn't help but scoff at that. Coming from Rosalie? In her mind, everything was always about her. Still, arguing with her was always a waste of time.

"It's done now, Rosalie and I can't undo it. I'm sorry," I offered this last apology to my family as a whole and everyone accepted it, having not been especially upset with me about this in the first place, with the repeated exception of Rosalie. Everyone else's apparent lack of concern about my perceived breech of their trust only added fuel to Rosalie's rage.

"Do none of you even care?" she demanded.

Automatically, I did a quick mental sweep, wondering about how the others truly felt about this. I was drawn to Jasper's internal battle not to modify Rosalie's emotions and it suddenly became obvious to me why I had not realised he had done it all these years. Reducing the force of her negativity was instinctive to Jasper, but not influencing her was taking considerable effort on his part. He was trying to honour his promise to Carlisle not to interfere further, but it was almost painful for him to be in her vicinity right now. "So you are all just going to concede to Edward's will yet again and stay here, where none of you are welcome?" The answering silence was all the conformation Rosalie needed. "Well, we're leaving, with or without you! Come on, Emmett." She turned to leave, so sure that Emmett would follow her, that she hadn't even looked to gauge his reaction to the argument this entire time.

"Wait," he implored her. "This is our family, Rosalie, and we need to stick together now more than ever. I think we should stay."

Rosalie spun back around, shocked by Emmett's rebellion. "We are leaving, right now!" she demanded, her fury intensifying as he made no move to comply. "If you don't leave with me, Emmett, then we are over, permanently! If you don't come with me right now, I never, ever, want to see you again!" she let that hang in the air which was humming with tension. No one knew how to diffuse this situation. "Well?" she snapped after a few moments passed. "Are you coming with me?"

"No," Emmett said quietly, but despite its low volume, his refusal echoed around the room. Rosalie's eyes narrowed, but Emmett squared his shoulders against her glare and stood his ground. The realisation that Emmett meant exactly what he said finally dawned on Rosalie and her fury spiked. Her mind was swirling…_How dare he?_ _I saved him, he is mine! How could he be so ungrateful? If I can't have him, no one can!_ Suddenly, she launched herself at him, intent with ripping off his head. She was unable to cope with his rejection and betrayal and hated him in that moment. Emmett saw her coming, and recognised her intention, but did not move. He was unable to raise his hand to her, even to defend himself.

Jasper was the only other person aware of the seriousness of the situation, having accurately analysed the emotional spectrum of them both. He recognised both Rosalie's murderous rage and Emmett's unwillingness to hurt her, and he inserted himself between them, rebuffing Rosalie's attack with a precision blow to her shoulder, sending her spinning across the room. She rounded on him and he dropped into a defensive crouch. Rosalie's sense of hatred and betrayal was compounded by Jasper's actions. The wave of intense emotion she sent out would have crippled Jasper, but Jasper was too seasoned a fighter to allow himself to be disadvantaged by his gift. He let her feelings flow through him, deflecting and dispersing them outwards. An unfortunate side effect was that the rest of us got a heavy dose of exactly how Rosalie felt about us all. Rosalie growled low, but knew Jasper's fighting skills to be far superior to her own and she had too strong a sense of self-preservation and pride to challenge him to a fight she knew she would lose.

"Rosalie…" Esme choked out, devastated. But Rosalie was oblivious to Esme's love and kindness and snarled at her, causing Carlisle to plant himself between them, issuing a warning growl. He would not stand for anyone threatening Esme.

Having Carlisle threaten her was more than Rosalie could stand. Without saying anything more, Rosalie spun and stalked from the room. As far as she was concerned we had all turned on her. She no longer considered any of us family.

"Rose…" Esme called after her in despair, unwilling to accept that she might be losing another daughter, unaware that she was already lost. Rosalie did not look back and Esme tried to go after her, but Carlisle caught her around her middle and pulled her close to him.

"Let her go," Carlisle advised Esme gently.

* * *

**AN: **I'm anxious to hear your reactions to that...please, please let me know! Are you happy or disappointed? What do you think Rosalie will do now? Skulk off and never be heard from again? Come back to seek her revenge? Come back and ask for forgiveness? Will Emmett go after her eventually?

What would you like to see happen? As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks for reading.


	20. 19: All of your tears

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world**

**AN: **I have a bit too share (probably too much) so feel free to skip my rambling if you so desire.

Firstly, I should be in Spain right now but, due to an Air Traffic Controller strike in France, I'm still here. Me and my family spent several hours on a grounded plane before our flight was eventually cancelled and my kids were devastated. On the bright side, that means I'm here to post this chapter and we are going to try and fly again tomorrow. Hopefully, we'll actually take-off this time!

Secondly, Resonating Light's Aro came second place in the Torch Awards' best grasp of character category. I'm so excited about this and incredibly grateful. I love Aro in general and have tried to put a unique slant on him in this story, whilst still respecting his canon traits and that it was Aro's character that was recognised makes it extra special to me. Thank you to the wonderful and lovely reader who nominated me.

Also, I got some lovely reviews recently. They were encouraging and insightful and I also got good advice and constructive feedback. I want to say how much I appreciate each and every one of them and how wide I smile when I read them. Thank you all.

TheaJ1 and OrAreWeDancers are my betas and so much more. They are both amazing. Thank you to Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen for pre-reading; she is such a lovely source of help. I can't say how much I love eli-dunbigboot, because words are inadequate.

* * *

**19: All of your tears**

Emmett had been statue-still for hours. The atmosphere surrounding him was filled with sorrow and concern. The sun had risen and set again, but none of us had even considered leaving this room. We were bound together by our sadness, sympathy and desire to help him. For the most part he had been oblivious to us though.

His mind was swinging between two extremes, sometimes devoid of all thought and emotion in an almost protective withdrawal from itself and sometimes racing through memories and hopes for the future, all of which had involved Rose. His grief was deep, despite the lack of outward sign of it. The only reaction he had had to any of us was when Jasper had tried to lift some of his emotional burden. It had taken only moments for Emmett to notice and his head shot up, his glare seeking out Jasper and his warning growl was low and lacking aggression, although more than enough to cause Jasper to desist.

Esme and Alice had tried to comfort him too, offering him hugs and whispered reassurance and trying to manifest their love and support in any way that might help him, but he was seemingly unaware of their efforts. We all stayed though, unwilling to leave him in this state and we were united in thinking that even if there was physically nothing we could do to show our support, we would stand by his side nevertheless.

I had been shocked at the way that Rosalie had turned on Emmett but now, in the close proximity of my family locked in their own thoughts, I saw that I was the only one who had been. Apparently this had been a long time coming.

I had spent barely any time with my family until recently, and even when I had been with them, I had been solely focused on keeping up the charade that I was able to at least function without Bella, so had genuinely no idea until this moment the true level of stress my actions had put on them. I had expected them to miss me, and Bella to some extent, but I had also imagined them happier without me. That they would ultimately be much more comfortable in their mated pairs without a miserable, mind-reading, morose and bitter vampire souring their happiness. Yet again, I had massively misjudged the entire situation. Sifting through my family's thoughts and memories, I now saw things as they really were.

My leaving had put a strain on all of the remaining couples, but none-so more than Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett had missed both me and Bella, and had regularly challenged Carlisle's authority regarding non-interference, urging Carlisle to let him or Alice intervene or at the very least check on Bella. Rosalie had been absolutely furious that Emmett felt that way and that is when the fighting had begun. Emmett had, for the most part, put up with Rosalie's bitching, good naturedly allowing her to take her frustrations out on him, while stubbornly sticking to his own view on the matter. But then Bella had called and Rosalie had been awful to her on the phone. This time it had been Emmett who had been absolutely furious and his and Rosalie's relationship had been slowly disintegrating since then. From Jasper's thoughts on the matter, I deduced that things would have imploded much sooner than this if it had not been for his influence. Knowing how miserable Alice was at the loss of Bella and me, he had been trying to protect her from the emotional impact of the entire family crumbling around her.

The weight of the consequences I had forced upon my own family began to consume me once again. How was it possible that I was so selfish in my every decision? I had the ability to look into their minds, but not the ability to see the bigger picture. Really, was there anything that I touched that I did not destroy?

_Edward! _Jasper's sharp mental interjection caught my attention. _Still not the time._

I looked deeper into his mind, confused as to what he could mean. He did nothing to hide his thoughts from me, wanting me to understand. Jasper believed that I was distancing myself from my emotions, putting a protective bubble void of emotion around myself in instinctive self-protection because my anguish was too much for me to cope with. He remembered back to the morning of the day we had visited Bella's nearby home, when my misery had brought us both to our knees and suddenly I did understand what I was doing.

The only way I could function was to bottle up and ignore all of my feelings and keep them deep inside myself. This was a huge problem in many ways, as this emotional detachment was further impairing my decision-making and causing me to come across as uncaring and aloof at times, especially with Bella. And what's more, at the route of it, it was sapping any empathy I had for the relationships between others, both in my family and in Bella's. Jasper thought I needed to reconcile this soon, but not today; because today was Emmett's. The last thing any of them needed was to deal with me breaking down as well.

Jasper came around and grasped my shoulder. _Let me help you, brother, _he offered and I gratefully accepted his help to stave off my personal despair once again. I had to be there for Emmett. I had neglected my family for far too long.

Light footsteps approached the guest wing and instinctively I knew it was Bella, as I was still so attuned to her. She knocked politely and waited for Carlisle to invite her in. She was unassuming as she entered, and although she was garbed in her full deep-blue Volturi robes, her demeanour reminded me more of her human personality, lacking the confidence that sharing her immortal years with the Volturi had given her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the words stuck in her mouth. She sighed gently and then tried again. "Rosalie left Volterra without presenting herself to Marcus," she began hesitantly. "Aro is extremely displeased and has sent Jane and Felix out to retrieve her."

"Will they hurt her?" Esme gasped, dismayed. Jasper wondered why Aro had not sent Demetri, which would have surely produced the speediest results. He thought that sending Jane and Felix instead did not bode well for Rosalie when they eventually did catch up to her. He started running through strategies to assist her in his mind, but he knew they would ultimately prove futile. Rosalie had turned off her phone and was actively avoiding us. The best that we could hope was that she would return of her own volition.

"I cannot guarantee their tactics," Bella replied grimly, "but their instructions are to bring her back alive and then she will have to answer to Aro. His patience has been stretched exceedingly thinly lately and if there is any evidence in her mind that she has breached the law, or disclosed any privileged information then he will not let it slide again. He will dispense justice as he sees fit and I am sure there will be nothing I can say to encourage him to be lenient this time." Her words hung heavily in the air and everyone's attention went to Emmett. Bella looked at him and became instantly more distressed.

"Emmett," she spoke softly but commanded his attention. "If you go to Marcus and prove to him you are willing to keep Volturi secrets then you will be free to go after her. If you bring her back to Marcus before she does any irreparable damage, then I'll make sure that everything will be okay."

"Rose was well aware that she needed to see Marcus," Emmett said, his voice devoid of emotion. "When she left she made it perfectly clear that I was no longer a concern in her life. I am confident she has too strong a sense of preservation to further defy Aro so blatantly. I am sure she will not do anything to further anger him. Her main concern was simply getting away from me."

Emmett was trying to hide his devastation from Bella, but she was watching him carefully as he spoke, her eyes shining with compassion and her empathy for his situation heartbreakingly obvious. She approached him and gathered him into a tight hug and he accepted her comfort, even though he had rejected any such reassurance from the rest of us. I saw his reason why clearly in his mind. Bella understood in a way none of us could; what it was like to have the person that meant everything to you, crush your heart, turn their back on you, and then leave. If I had been able to cry, I would have. I was not the only one who felt that way.

"Please excuse me," Emmett mumbled, uncharacteristically politely and he escaped the room. I heard him settle himself in the privacy of the same turret I had been using as a refuge since our arrival here. Bella watched him go, her features etched with sympathy, then she scanned the rest of the room, looking uncomfortable and not quite sure how to proceed. I knew exactly how she felt and I was feeling the same way. There was so much I needed to talk to her about, but there was never any opportunity. Even right now, because I was surrounded by everyone else, what could I say? Were there any words that could ever be adequate to explain my past actions and my current feelings?

"Bella?" Carlisle asked softly. "If you have a few moments to spare, we would be very grateful for the chance to speak with you. There is much I would like to talk to you about." Bella looked momentarily panicked, before smoothing her expression to a more impassive one.

"If you are planning to stay in Volterra, then that would probably be wise," she responded politely.

"We would very much like to stay, but only if it will not be inconvenient to you," Carlisle told her respectfully. "If you would prefer us to leave, then we will."

"Bu.." I started, furious at Carlisle's offer, knowing I would not be able to honour a request to leave.

_SHUT UP! _The chorus of voices in my mind was mentally deafening and stunned me to silence.

_Please Edward, _Carlisle implored and with supreme effort, I fell back to let him continue. I knew how important this conversation was to him and to the rest of the family and I knew that pressing my case would win me no favour in anyone's eyes.

"Thank you, Carlisle," Bella surprised him, "I appreciate your offer and maybe it is time for us to discuss things and then we can decide together how best to proceed."

"Before we begin, I would like to apologise once again for the way our family abandoned you and most especially for the conversation we had on the phone shortly after that. I am very deeply sorry for all of the anguish we have caused you."

"Even as little as a few days ago, I might have had trouble accepting your apology, but what you told us in the throne room yesterday put so much into perspective for me. If I put myself into your position Carlisle, and Nathan into Edward's, then I can confidently say my priorities would have been the same. Even if I had adored a girlfriend he introduced to the family, if he had needed me to make the same choice you were forced to make, then I would have done so without hesitation."

"Thank you for being so gracious," Carlisle said, some of the tension that had been gripping him for so long evaporated and gave a glimpse of the compassionate and fulfilled vampire he once was, the one I had destroyed by my actions.

"I wish you had all have gone about things differently, though. It would have made all the difference in the world to me if you had taken the time to say goodbye," Bella said sadly.

It was too much for Esme and Alice, they both started talking at once, shame and regret colouring their thoughts. Sincere apologies fell from their mouths as they both flooded towards Bella. She held up her hands to stop them and they respected her wishes, distressed that she still intended to keep them at arm's length.

"They all wanted to talk to you, Bella but I insisted that they didn't." I said from the periphery, hovering on the edge of the scene I wanted to be a part of, but that I had forfeited my place in.

"They didn't have to listen to you, Edward!" Bella almost cried with exasperation. "Anything would have been better than no contact at all. A letter or an e-mail to say goodbye and that they cared would have meant the world to me."

"I told them that I had fully explained everything to you and they had no reason to doubt me. I said you'd requested no contact from them. I told them that it was you who wanted a clean break. I lied to them the way I lied to you and the only two people who were capable of calling me on it had already left and were too far away to use their own gifts to discredit me. I'm ashamed of so much I did then, including using my gift to manipulate them. I can often hear exactly what I need to say to be convincing." It was time to accept full responsibility and not let my family have to deal with the consequences. Aro had already seen the full extent of my guilt in my mind. Renesmee could see it. Either of them could tell Bella. My only option was to be completely honest, and give myself the chance to explain in my own words, even if everyone hated me for it. It was no more than I deserved anyway. I had done enough damage to my family with my evasive mistruths and if the only way to repair some of the damage was to destroy my own chances of reconciliation with Bella and Renesmee then that was how it would have to be. It was time to try and set aside my selfishness.

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. Alice and Esme were watching her anxiously. Alice was the first to break.

"Bella, I'm not sure how much you want to hear this, but I loved you and never would have hurt you intentionally. I'm so very sorry."

"As we all are," echoes Esme. "You were such a sweet girl, who we all cared for. It was easy to imagine you living a happy, human life somewhere, better off out of our world and out of danger."

"Esme," Bella interrupted, exasperated. "Life is dangerous! Humans die all the time."

"I think we have all come to realise that we certainly lacked a little perspective on the matter and let Edward's exaggerated concerns sway us." Carlisle interjected. "We let him down too, by not helping him to overcome his fear and guiding him back to you."

"I had always thought he would eventually come to his sense and go back for you," Alice said miserably. "I was hanging on to that thought. I had seen you as part of our family, always. I saw the separation from you as a temporary misery that would give way to a permanent happiness. I still cannot understand how I could have been so blind to the actual situation. I'm so sorry, Bella, for everything."

"I think if things had been different, that future could have existed for us, but not anymore. Too much has happened and I have my own family now and they will always be my priority. That's the main reason I am considering a reconciliation at all; Renesmee deserves the chance to get to know you. You have taken her by surprise and are nothing like she was expecting and she has developed an attachment to Edward already. I would very much like to trust that none of you will hurt her."

"We'd value a chance to be involved in her life, and yours, in whatever way you would allow," Esme said, hope glimmering in her tone.

"I firmly believe that you can never have too many people in your life that love you and if you care about her, and she is willing, then as I said the first time I came to speak to you, I will not stand in the way of a relationship between you all and her.

"There is one point I need to re-iterate. I know Ness explained this to Edward, but it is vitally important. Renesmee wants you to get to know her as part of our family, and she is mostly referring to her siblings, especially her younger ones. She worries about hurting Jaden, Alfie and Daisy and her concern for them is not misplaced. Do you think that is something you could accept?"

"Of course," Esme was the first to respond although we were all in agreement, especially me. I had given a lot of thought to Aro's words as I stood silently with Emmett. These children were a part of Bella and Renesmee, and that made them essentially important to me too.

"Bella, we would love to learn more about your family," Carlisle said, enthusiastic at the prospect on so many levels. "Can I ask how your husband feels about our involvement? I would hate to put any pressure or strain on you."

"Actually, Fred is the one who persuaded me to be a little more open to a friendship between our families. I'm afraid I was bitterly jaded about the ways you could hurt us. He helped me to gain some perspective on the matter and see that the situation is entirely different now."

"Well, I'm very grateful to him and looking forward to the opportunity of getting to know him too," Carlisle said, making Bella smile wide for the first time. It was a truly genuine smile and my love for her burned as fiercely as ever. I did not share at all Carlisle's sentiments of getting to know Fred; I knew as much as I needed to. He had Bella and I did not. As much as I wanted to, it was difficult to hate him. He had cared for Bella and Renesmee and offered them a life that had clearly made them happy. After all, he had not stolen them, I had inadvertently given them away.

"What are your thoughts on how best to proceed, Bella?" Carlisle asked. "We will be guided by you. I hope to one day earn back your trust and respect. I think the rest of the family feels the same."

"I think coming back to our house might be the best place. All the kids feel relaxed there and hopefully things will go a little more smoothly this time," Bella didn't need to add because Rosalie wouldn't be there. It was what we were all thinking. "Everyone will be at home tomorrow, if you think you can face us all together again"

"We are very much looking forward to it," Esme beamed, holding tightly onto Carlisle, barely able to contain her joy at this invitation that had been offered freely by Bella. She was quashing her concern for Rosalie, hoping that given time to calm down, things could be mended between them as well.

"There is one other thing," Bella said reluctantly. "I'm hesitant to bring it up but I think it is relevant and important that you understand the magnitude of it if she does offer." Curious and concerned we waited for her to elaborate. "There is a chance Renesmee will invite you to Daniel's birthday."

"Wouldn't an invitation be for Daniel to offer?" Carlisle asked confused at the unexpected direction Bella had taken.

Bella smiled tightly. "That is why I feel the need to explain the implications. The date of the party is Daniel's birthday and that is how everyone talks of it, but it means a lot more than that to all of us. All of the children, including Renesmee and Nathan who are much older than he, celebrate their birthdays on that day. It has become something of a spectacular. Everyone comes home for it. It is why Nathan and Renesmee are both home, Renesmee is living close to her university and Nathan works abroad. Only very close friends and most trusted allies of the Volturi attend.

"It is a party but it also serves to emphasise how much Aro values all of his grandchildren, as he considers them. There is controversy surrounding their status and there are those who believe there is no place for them in our world at all. Even some of those in the Guard are resentful of them. I'm sure you can guess who. So the party as well as being a joint birthday celebration has political significance too. Aro likes to remind everyone that he considers them family and that to harm them is unforgivable. He is also demonstrating to those who question his affection of them, that they are a force to be reckoned with in their own right, and that he has their allegiance. It is a very fine balance, which the younger children are completely unaware of.

"Renesmee is mindful of the potential complications, which is why she will hesitate to invite you, but if she does and you accept, please be considerate in what you say to whom. I would be grateful if you did not discuss anything about our family with anyone there. If you think it'll be difficult, especially for you Carlisle, as I'm sure you will be acquainted with most of those attending, please do decline her invitation. She will understand."

"Thank you for enlightening us of the situation, Bella," Carlisle said solemnly. "We will certainly take that into consideration and if we are privileged enough to be able to attend, we will ensure that we are discreet at all times."

"Why do you all celebrate on Daniel's birthday and not individually?" Alice asked, perplexed. It made no sense to her to have one party when you could have many.

"None of them likes to dwell on the day they were born and they certainly do not consider it a suitable day to celebrate. The hybrids all have eidetic memories going back to before they were born. They all remember hearing voices from inside the womb and most of them formed a loving bond with mother. Their memories of their birth are beyond traumatic. As I understand it, Renesmee gave you a glimpse of what her birth was like so I'm sure you can imagine what happened. They watched their mothers die as a result of their birth and then they had to survive somehow, often completely alone.

"We know there have been some cases where the baby did not survive either. They were killed by the humans present at their births, by wild animals and even of starvation. They were babies, so very vulnerable and it seems that only the gifted have managed to survive past infancy." Bella looked absolutely grief stricken and Esme and Alice were especially horrified. "I wish we knew about the pregnancies before the birth but they are so quick and it is not as if we can advertise for information regarding supernatural pregnancies. We don't even know which vampires are responsible. As I'm sure you are aware, sexual relations with humans are not rare, but leaving the human alive afterwards is very unusual.

"Anna was the first time we had ever come across a hybrid pregnancy prior to the birth and the only reason we did is because she was already being watched by the Volturi. She remembers nothing of the conception and assumed her boyfriend was the father. This had made us think that the vampire responsible is gifted in some way. When one of the Guard was doing a routine check on Anna, she realised instantly that there was something abnormal about the pregnancy and Anna was brought back to Italy with her. We had some idea of what to expect from my experience with Renesmee, and Ness and Nathan were able to deliver Daniel with the aid of their gifts and they both survived. So they celebrate on Daniel's birthday as his was the only one that was joyous."

"What about you? You survived and Renesmee is the oldest. Why not celebrate on her birthday?" I wondered.

"I might have survived by some standards, but I also died that day and Renesmee was born amid a bloodbath which she remembers. Unfortunately, she also remembers the next few days, weeks and months with perfect clarity as well. When she was born Aro left Demetri in charge of supervising both her and my change. Renesmee was in the room with me the entire time. I was outwardly calm, which was utterly perplexing to them and I seemed calmest when Renesmee was close so they ensured that she always was. Aro couldn't read her and they thought that she had inherited my gift and had no idea of her telepathic abilities.

"It turns out the even though I was changing, my instinct was to protect her. I didn't trust the Volturi at this point which even as a new born Renesmee had managed to understand and she did not project past my shield. She did however live through the pain of my change with me."

We all gasped at that. The idea of a baby experiencing the agony of a change was unthinkable and that it was Renesmee tore at my heart.

"She had to suffer alongside me as I adjusted to being a vampire and our transition into the Volturi was not smooth initially and no matter how much I tried to school my thoughts, my Newborn distractedness made it impossible to protect her from my fear for us. She never wanted to celebrate her birthday and latched on to the idea of celebrating on Daniel's instead the second Nathan suggested it."

We were all stunned. We had had to take on so much since that day in the valley that it seemed almost as if years had been compressed into seconds and we had had very little time to process any of it. The staggering implications of how Bella's family had come together had been lost in the drama and worry within our own family. That she was finally opening up to us was overwhelming but that she had been through so much was almost too much to bear.

"I need to get back," Bella said, "but I'll see you tomorrow at the house."

"We're looking forward to spending time with all of your family, Bella," Emmett said from the doorway.

* * *

_Reviews are amazing and I'd be so grateful if you have a chance to let me know what you think._


	21. 20: All of these years

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just can't resist spending obsessive amounts of time in her world.**

**AN**: I know you might be a little fed up with hearing this from me, but it is still true that I am so very sorry for making you wait so long. Some of you already know that the last few months have been incredibly hard for me and I have barely been at my computer at all. I would like to thank everyone who sent me messages of support; they really meant a lot. I honestly think I have some of the most amazing readers. You leave me such long, lovely and insightful reviews and I am sorry that I could not respond quicker and get the update done sooner. The only thing I can promise is that I have every intention of finishing this story and I am hoping there will be no more long delays.

My incredible betas are TheaJ1 and OrAreWeDancers. I have made quite a few changes since they read this chapter, but didn't want to delay posting any longer so any mistakes are entirely my fault. Thank you to Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen for her awesome pre-reading skills. Thank you also to eli-dunbigboot for her continuing support and friendship.

I'm sure another recap is very much needed and in the last part of the recap there is a little new information as well.

* * *

**Recap**

Twenty years after Edward left Bella, Edward had spent the vast majority of time alone and miserable, trying to resist the urge to check on Bella. Then the Cullens ask Edward to re-join them and help as Alice had seen the whole family destroyed by a Newborn Army, led by Maria. Just as the fight was about to begin, the Volturi arrived, led by Bella, and destroyed the army.

Bella initially tried to leave without acknowledging the Cullens, but Edward stopped her, causing the rest of the Volturi Guard to become suddenly interested in him. After a short, intense squabble within the Volturi ranks, the Cullens were ordered to come back to Volterra. Once there, they were accused of breaking the secrecy law by leaving a human Bella with the knowledge of vampires. They were initially sentenced to death, but their execution was put off when Bella pleaded for leniency towards them. They were commanded to stay in Volterra until a verdict was reached.

The Cullens have discovered that Bella was pregnant when Edward left her and went to the Volturi for help. She had Renesmee and was changed. She married a vampire named Fred a few years later. They have adopted several other hybrid children, although the exact origin of these children is only just coming to light. Renesmee was initially very hostile towards the Cullens, but, mostly due to her gift of being a sending and receiving telepath, her attitude towards them has now softened considerably.

After prolonged deliberation, Aro reiterated the guilty verdict, but reduced the sentence to pledging loyalty to the Volturi. The Cullens are now free to leave, but have decided to stay and get to know Bella and Renesmee. Rosalie has been very hateful throughout. She is bitter about what the family has been through since they left Bella and jealous and resentful of Bella and her family. She was furious that the rest of the Cullens want to stay in Volterra and things erupted in a violent argument. She decided to leave without them, insisting Emmett accompany her. When he refused, she left him too, telling him she never wanted to see him again.

In this AU hybrids age slightly differently to canon. They age at about twice human speed and reach maturity in their early teens when they appear early twenties in human age. Bella and Fred have adopted Nathan, who is roughly the same age as Renesmee (19, but they look older than this). They have also adopted Daisy who is 7 (therefore looks and is the maturity of a 14 year old girl), Alfie who is 3 (6) and Jaden who is 18months (3). There is one human, Anna, who lives in the protection of the Volturi and survived the birth of her hybrid son with the help of Nathan and Renesmee. Her son is called Daniel and his 9th birthday is coming up. All of the hybrids celebrate their birthdays' on Daniel's birthday, as he is the only one whose mother survived and the others don't like to remember their own birthdays. The party is a big event for Bella's family, but also for the Volturi politically as there is animosity between the hybrids and the more traditional vampires of the Volturi.

(A 'FY2' is a newly qualified UK doctor who is in the second year of a two year compulsory post-graduate medical training programme. They work as doctors in a variety of clinical settings to consolidate their knowledge and especially to gain experience in applying their skills to treating acutely ill patients).

* * *

**20: All of these years**

Our second visit to Bella's home was a striking contrast to the first. The crackling tension had been dramatically soothed and while it would be inaccurate to describe the climate as comfortable, it was certainly more relaxed.

We were outside and I wondered if Bella or Renesmee had orchestrated it that way as it was the main contributing factor to the improved atmosphere. Behind Bella's garden was a contrasting mix of sprawling, dense woodland and wide open clearings. We were congregated in one of the clearings, set far back from the house and without the constraining walls, the number of vampires and hybrids present seemed less oppressive. There were actually more of us this time, as Rose's absence had been offset by the presence of all of Bella's children. I had made promises to Bella, Renesmee and the rest of my family that I would get to know them, but in spite of my good intentions, I had absolutely no idea how to interact with them and I had settled on the side-lines again, observing them from a distance, but paying much more attention to them this time than I had ever been compelled to before.

Esme had had no such reservations and was relishing her involvement in a game with Bella's youngest two and Alice. Jaden and Alfie looked to be about four and six in human age, but I knew this meant they must be much younger than that in actual years of age. The game was hugely complex and clearly a unique design. It had a quadruple tiered board and seemed to require a range of skills and luck to progress. The most challenging thing for Esme seemed to be that the rules were shifting at the whim of the two boys who were teaching her and Alice how to play. She was handling it with delighted grace, reprimanding them without rancour only when they were trying to cheat each other and maintaining an air of competitive enjoyment for everyone playing. She was so absorbed in the game that she was unaware of the scrutiny she was under.

Carlisle was watching her with adoring pride. I could hear in his thoughts how happy he was to see her like this. It had been so long since she had been carefree and he had missed the sparkle that had now returned to her. Carrying the huge weight of Esme's barely concealed misery had been much more of a burden to Carlisle than his own despair and regret. For the first time in years he could see the shimmer of a happier future and he was more grateful to Bella than he could ever express for giving us all another chance to make things right. Not just with her, but in our family as well.

Bella was watching the scene very closely too. Her tightly closed mind gave no indication of the mystery that was her conflicted expression. She was almost enthralled, but also troubled. I longed to feel able to talk to her about whatever she was in such deep thought about. She was standing with Fred, leaning against him for support whilst he was engaged in a conversation with Jasper. Emmet was standing alone, as I was, but on the opposite side of the clearing. He seemed immersed in his own melancholy and I knew exactly how he felt. It hurt me to see him suffering, although he was trying to put on a brave face and attempting to distract himself by watching the others. I wanted to comfort him, but in all honesty his emotional state was a mirror of mine. I could hardy tell him that he would feel better with time, because I knew it never would. I hated Rosalie for inflicting such misery on him and then considered that I had done the same to Bella. I hated myself for that, so at least I was not being unfair or discriminating.

The more time that passed, the more incredibly awkward I was feeling just standing there, doing nothing. I cast my gaze around for some way I could begin to integrate myself. The least likely option was Nathan and yet he somehow drew my focus. He was sprawled out on the grass, surrounded by piles of books, papers, notes, diagrams, an iPad and a laptop. It was fortunate for him that there was no wind. He was engrossed in whatever it was he was doing and I deliberated what it might be. According to him, he was already a qualified doctor. I wondered what he was studying for now. Carlisle was curious too. He had drifted closer to Nathan, even while he was still watching Esme. He kept glancing over at what Nathan was doing, trying to decide what he was working on. He would be loathe to interrupt as Nathan seemed so absorbed in what he was doing and also because he was wary of Nathan, having heard from Jasper and Alice how much damage he was capable of inflicting with his telekinesis.

Nathan seemed to pick up on the fact he was under scrutiny. He looked appraisingly at Carlisle, his expression solemn.

"Sorry if I interrupted you," Carlisle broke the uneasy silence first. "My curiosity got the better of me." Nathan seemed distrustful, but not openly aggressive which Carlisle took as a good sign and continued. "What are you working on?"

Nathan considered the question a while before answering and I got the impression he was deciding whether or not to answer at all. "I'm in the early stages of writing a reference text for hybrid medicine," he replied eventually. If Carlisle had been mildly interested before, he was beyond excited now. He was having trouble containing the gush of questions that were rushing through his brain.

"That's fascinating." He edged closer. "I'd love to look through what you have so far."

"It's all pretty disorganised at the moment, I'm not sure there's anything readable." Both Carlisle and I sensed that that wasn't entirely true. Carlisle's disappointment was crushing and evident. It was like a personal form of torture to him to be on the precipice of a wealth of new knowledge and mysteries to be solved, and yet unable to dive into the middle of it. Nathan seemed moved by his obvious regret too. "Honestly, most of it is not put into writing yet. I have very limited time to work on it and it's a complex thing. I need to build on my knowledge base of human medicine as well, if I am to make the most of what is already out there and make effective comparisons. But working as an FY2 takes up a huge amount of my time, even if it is essential."

"We heard you worked abroad. Did you study in England too?" Carlisle probed, eager to glean any details he could. Since first meeting Renesmee, he had been captivated by the idea of vampire-human hybrids, especially as she was my daughter. He had immediately considered her to be family, even if she had not instantly felt the same way. Now that his attention was no longer diverted by a threat to us or by Esme's unhappiness, his curiosity was insatiable. He wanted to know everything about Renesmee and her adopted brothers and sisters, both as a species and as individuals, including what had prompted Nathan to split away from his family to study medicine.

"I did." Nathan's closed response was uninformative, but Carlisle was not deterred.

"How do you manage to gather the necessary information you need on hybrid physiology and development when you are so far away from your family?" Carlisle asked, hoping to encourage Nathan to divulge more information.

"Anna collects data for me, and if I need more, or if I'm needed here, then Daniel can cut down travel time to instantly," Nathan seemed defensive. "If I'm going to practice medicine here in the future, I need to be unknown to the local Doctors. The medical community here is close-knit and it would be difficult if I became known to some of them, which inevitably I would be if I trained in Italy. I'm sure you are more than aware that the last thing I need is someone perceptive to notice I'm not ageing."

"I didn't mean to sound critical. I'm just in awe of awe much you have taken on." Carlisle said apologetically.

"I don't really have a choice. It's imperative that we increase our understanding of our physiology as quickly as we can. We are not immune to disease or safe from injury, as vampires are. And we can hardly rock up at a regular hospital if one of us gets sick or hurt; there are differences between us and humans that would be immediately obvious on even a cursory medical examination. And even if we did, we metabolise medicines very differently to humans, so it would be very likely that they would be unable to help us anyway. Even the knowledge I have is basic because there are so few of us and I have to keep invasive tests to a minimum, although thankfully it's been enough to treat everything we've encountered so far. But I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and then someone would have to start again from scratch." Nathan was trying to sound flippant, but his voice was laced with a hint of worry.

"Being hit by a bus is a genuine concern?" Carlisle asked.

"I live and work in central London. It is not unlikely. It's more common than you'd think. Pedestrian or cyclist versus bus is a regular presenting condition in our A&E."

"But with your enhanced senses and speed…and your gift…?" Carlisle probed.

"All of those are potentially useless to me on crowded streets with blanket CCTV cover. I would never compromise the safety and security of my family by exposing us." Carlisle and I both considered this; however it still seemed unlikely to us that buses were an actual danger to him. But there was a certain raw and painful honesty to his tone which suggested there was something he wasn't saying. Could he be honestly concerned that something might take his life? Suddenly I was as interested as Carlisle in Nathan's research. How vulnerable were the hybrids to injury, disease and death? How vulnerable was Renesmee? The thought that anything could threaten her life was unbearable. And if something were to happen to Nathan, Bella's family would be deprived of the expertise in hybrid medicine he was trying to build. And if it wasn't a random stray bus that scared him, then what was it?

"I could help you know," Carlisle offered. "I have studied medicine on numerous occasions and I do have years of experience. There is not much about human medicine that is unfamiliar to me. If we worked together and combined our knowledge, then at the very least you would not be the only one able to document any information we determine."

Nathan was very conflicted. It was obvious he did not want to accept anything from any of us, but this project was clearly more important to him than his dislike of us and he seemed very tempted by Carlisle's offer. He looked past Carlisle and over to Renesmee, who turned as if he'd called her; which he probably had. They had a long silent interchange and I got the impression that they weren't the only ones participating in it. Finally, Nathan turned his attention back to Carlisle. "If you're serious, then have a look through these and see if there is any insight you can offer." He handed Carlisle the messiest and most disorganised pile of scrawled notes, which Carlisle took without hesitation and dropping into sitting on the grass alongside Nathan, he began to read.

Emmett's burst of laughter startled me. While my attention had been on Carlisle and Nathan, he had joined in the game to try and help Alice, who had been about to lose spectacularly. Alfie and Jaden were delighting in wiping the floor with them both, using less than scrupulous tactics.

I gaped at him, unable to process it. Since the day I had left Bella, twenty years ago, I had not found anything anywhere near that amusing. I couldn't envision a scenario where my thoughts weren't constantly so dark. Yet merely days after Rosalie supposedly tore his heart out, Emmet was enjoying himself with virtual strangers. I was frustrated and jealous and furious with him and myself. What was wrong with him? Or should that be what is wrong with me? Why was I so immersed in my misery after so long that I wished that my brother was experiencing it too?

I felt Jasper materialise at my side and with his help I was able to grapple my emotions under control.

"What do you make of it?" I asked him quietly. I did not need to elaborate, as he knew I was referring to Emmett's mood.

Jasper shrugged. "He is sad and hurt, but just not anywhere near the magnitude that I would have expected, especially after…" he gestured at me, struggling to find a way to describe my situation that would not be hurtful.

"The mating bond is practically indestructible. He should be incapacitated by Rosalie's desertion of him," I said bitterly, cutting him off.

"There's no way on Earth those two were mated."

Jasper and I wheeled round to stare incredulously at Nathan. His quietly delivered but assured statement hung in the air.

"What?" Jasper demanded.

"They weren't mated," Nathan repeated, as if we were intellectually challenged.

"Of course they were," I contradicted him, keeping my voice low so as not to attract the attention of anyone else.

"I have seen many vampires in a variety of co-dependent relationships and I am absolutely sure that those two weren't mated. The way that rude, vindictive Rosaleech behaved towards him was shocking and there is no way she could ever have treated him with such disrespect if they were truly mates."

"But they have been happily married for years," Jasper said, although I could sense he was already beginning to doubt himself and his assessment of their relationship. We had huddled closer to Nathan and were all trying to conduct ourselves so as not to draw the attention of the others. Carlisle, Jasper and myself were reeling.

"You two have mates," he gestured to Carlisle and Jasper, deliberately excluding me. "It is clear from the way you gravitate to them how deep your connection to them is ingrained. Could you ever imagine a situation where you would be so disrespectful to them? Even when you disagree, would you ever treat them with such disdain? Have they ever treated you in such a way?"

"But to compare relationships is unfair when the people in them are such different personalities," Carlisle put forward weakly, even though he was thinking just how valid Nathan's point was.

Nathan was regarding us in astonished sympathy. He evidently felt we were deluded and perhaps a little slow as well. "I'm guessing she changed him," he prompted and we nodded affirmatively, although it wasn't strictly true. Carlisle had changed him, but it was Rosalie who had been the instigator. "I would think he'd be pretty grateful to be granted immortality and she is very beautiful. Even a Newborn could be distracted from bloodlust by her allure."

"Gratitude and sexual attraction does not explain away what I know," Jasper said. "Rosalie and Emmett loved each other!"

"Hmmm….." Nathan embellished his hesitation dramatically. "I'm sure you just used the past tense there." He looked at us all in dubious patience, waiting for the implications of that to sink in. Because if they were truly mates, then their love for each other would have been permanent, not eroded even slightly by the passage of time.

"All of these years…" Carlisle was deeply shocked that he was even contemplating that they weren't mated. "We would have known, I'm sure. Emmett was so happy with her and so protective of her right from the start."

"Again with the past tense and I'm telling you that being mated and loving each other are two separate types of relationship. And I get the impression that Emmett is just a loving and protective guy. Rosaleech just wasn't intelligent enough to truly appreciate him." Seeing that we were still far from convinced, he added, "Edward, you love Alice…"

"Like a sister," I interjected.

"Yes," Nathan agreed. "But you do love her and you are protective of her and you agree she's attractive."

"But I would never sleep with her," I hissed urgently, over Jasper's low growl.

"Of course not; you know Jasper would kill you if you even tried," Nathan was struggling to keep his voice quiet. "The point I'm trying to make is that it is possible for two vampires to love each other without being mate-bonded and it is also possible for vampire to have sex without being mated. Two vampires can both love each other and be sexually attracted to each other, but the mate bond will only form if they are truly compatible. We have seen covens pass through here that have similar types of relationships, although admittedly there is usually more sex and less love. But they undoubtedly care for each other to some extent, even when not mated. It can be a very long and lonely wait to find a mate, from what I understand."

On some level what Nathan was saying made sense, but none of us could accept it. It shook to the core what we had always believed our family was based on. Nathan seemed exasperated with our obvious inability to comprehend what he considered blindingly obvious. He called over Renesmee, waiting until she was close enough to be drawn into our hushed debate before demanding, "Will you tell them that Rosalie and Emmett were never mated?"

"What?" she stammered. She had obviously not been eavesdropping, either audibly or mentally, on our discussion.

"Renesmee won't be able to prove anything. I read Rosalie and Emmett's minds and Jasper read their emotions for years and we are both unable to say either way in this moment. How would Renesmee know after such little exposure to them? Even reading their minds does not necessarily identify whether or not the bond was formed."

"But Ness can read Marcus' mind," Nathan said in a tone of stating the obvious yet again.

"But I wouldn't," Renesmee rushed, "I always respect their privacy and it is not my place to know."

"Ness," Nathan said kindly, but firmly, "when you met the Cullens for the first time, I know for a fact you were up in everyone's minds that day. Marcus told me he can still hear the echo of you in his head, the way you were mentally assaulting him. We both know your control lapses when you are that upset and I know you would have been able to read from Marcus whether or not they were mated."

Renesmee went red and lowered her eyes. "But I shouldn't have done and I have no intention of divulging any information that I so rudely stole that day,"

"Renesmee, if you do know, I would be very grateful if you shared it with us. We are worried about Emmett and we need to know how best to support him," Carlisle pressed, very concerned.

"And you wouldn't be spilling a sacred secret, just confirming what is beyond obvious," Nathan added, exasperated.

"Are they mated, Renesmee?" I asked imploringly. She lifted her eyes to meet mine and gave a slight shake of her head.

**xXx**

* * *

**AN**: I'm slightly nervous about the reaction to this chapter. Did anyone see this coming? I know some of you will be very disappointed by my distortion of such an important canon relationship, but I'd love to hear what you think; good or bad!


End file.
